Fear and Loathing
by Lona W. Hall
Summary: What if Bella was terrified of Edward from the start instead of unafraid? What if she had reason to hate him? Canon couples... Bella's blood does not sing to Edward but it does to someone else...M for language, lemons, violence, and drug use.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: This is a third revision of Chapter 1. For those that are still with me - thank you! I am now working with a pre-reader and beta for this story and the changes they have helped me to make really improve the story. If you've already read it, please read it again! Review or send me a PM to let me know what you think :) Chapters 2 - 8 are going to be taken down from FanFiction until they are done being revised as we have adjusted the chapter ends / beginnings. Hopefully, I will be able to get the revised chapters up pretty quick. I am definetely the bottle neck as my pre-reader and beta are so fast!**

**A big huge squishy hug thank you to SaritaDreaming (beta) and Branchips (pre-reader) I was introduced to these two wonderful ladies via Sparkly Red Pen and I have to recommend it to anyone needing to get set up with a beta and pre-reader...what a great service!**

I was up and getting ready for school as slowly as possible. This town had done nothing but make me miserable since I arrived here. The constant clouds and rain were depressing my already depressed personality. Heading into a new school didn't seem exactly like the antidote I needed. The proverbial hole in the head sounded way more fun.

Forks. Who the heck came up with that name anyway? Why not Runcible Spoon? That, at least, had a better ring to it. But my father needed a new job, and Forks needed a police chief, so here we were. New school and I'm the police chief's daughter...great. Hopefully, this town isn't like the last place that seemed to expect certain decorum from the chief's daughter. At least my dad doesn't have to depend on voters here since he's appointed by the mayor. Not sure I'll ever forgive myself for costing my dad his last job, no matter how much he says it wasn't my fault

_Ugh, this train of thought __is not what I need right now!_ Big, puffy, teary eyes would attract way more attention than what I wanted. Okay, enough wallowing. Boots: check. Jeans: check. T-shirt with comfy sweatshirt on top: check. Everything close enough to in-style so I don't stand out, but nothing flashy to call attention either. Just call me wall-flower please!

I stomped down the stairs to get the last bit of my grumpies out. Dad was already at work. He knew I'd function way better on my own instead of under observation. I grabbed myself a quick breakfast; chocolate milk and a chocolate donut. _Yay, fast metabolism. _ I walked to the door and there it was: mom's picture. Now I felt like such a jerk. Big deal; I had to go to a new school in a rainy town. She didn't get to go anywhere, ever.

It was all my fault. I was the one he had been seeking. If it wasn't for me, my mother would still be alive. Would I ever be able to look at her picture and remember the good times? Instead of only the last time? In my mind, I could hear her saying, "Bella, stop blaming yourself! I'm fine here watching over you and just want you to be happy." _Fat chance, Mom._ I ran out the door fighting my own head. The rain actually felt good, like it was washing the thoughts away.

At least I got to drive my new truck to school. New to me anyway. A '57 Chevy, all dented up but beautiful in its orange, rusty glory. _Awesome!_ No one was going to beat me in a crash in this thing. I drove myself to school trying to forget about the dreaded destination. I concentrated, instead, on the lines on the road, the other cars, and the weird joggers who actually went out running in this weather. But the inevitable happened, and I arrived at the school.

Small schools were nothing new to me. The last one I attended was actually in a town smaller than this one, in Southern California. That school was nice because the lockers and some of the classes were held outside. My dad had already taken me once to see the school here, so I would know where it was. There was hardly anywhere outdoors set up for the students to hang out. All I had seen were some beat up picnic tables. No one was going to spend money on outdoor facilities in a town where it rained almost every day.

Ah, well, nothing left to do but get out of the truck and get the whole "new girl" thing over with. I climbed out of the truck and started wandering towards the front doors. Other kids gave me curious looks, but no one stopped to chat. I found the office easily enough, right inside the main door. The receptionist gave me that look that said she was expecting me and was curious as to what I would be like. Lord only knows what she had seen in my file. I walked up and introduced myself.

"I'm Bella Swan."

"Hi, Bella!" she said, way too excited. "I have all you need right here: schedule, locker assignment, and a school map. Please note the emergency exits. Also, here is a school handbook with all our rules and regulations. Please read them carefully as they are strictly enforced."

"Thank you," I mumbled, just wanting to get out of there.

All the secretaries were just staring at me like they had nothing better to do. Seriously, this was a high school. Didn't they know anything about teenagers? Did they really think I enjoyed being stared at by a bunch of strangers?

Homeroom was conveniently located just down the hall. I had time, so I darted into the bathroom to have one more mini nervous breakdown before entering the classroom. The bathroom was clean and had an amazing lack of graffiti on the walls. Nice not to have to read a zillion, "I luvs" while trying to clear my head. _OK_, I told myself, _just walk in, tell the teacher your name, and then sit at the desk. Take out a notebook and look busy. ._ Plan in place, I exited the bathroom and walked into homeroom. The teacher was one of those young hippy types dressed in jeans, trying to look more like a friend than a teacher. I didn't like that type; I preferred uncaring and uninterested.

"You must be Isabella Swan," he said. _Duh._

"Actually, I go by Bella please."

"Well, Bella, we sure are happy to have you and your father here!"

I desperately wanted to look behind me to make sure Dad hadn't somehow followed me into the class. Guess any last hope I had of being anonymous was shredded.

I brought out my patented teenage mumble, "Thanks, uh, where do I sit?"

Of course, that brought out the sympathetic icky face. "Right over there, Bella," he said, pointing to a desk smack dab in the middle of the room.

"Anything in the back or by the window?" I replied back in what I hoped was a voice that would trigger his need to help.

"Sorry, Bella," he said. "You're taking the last empty seat."

Oh, well, no help for me then.

I took my seat and pulled out my notebook as planned. I started scribbling a shopping list on the page. I hoped I looked like I didn't want to be interrupted. We needed groceries anyway and food shopping was one of my jobs.

"Hi!" I heard.

_Guess I was going to have to work on that look._

I brought my head up and noticed my greeter was a bubbly looking girl with blond hair and blue eyes. I thought she looked like she should be a cheerleader, if the school was large enough to have a football team.

"Hey," I replied.

"I'm Jessica; you must be Isabella?"

"Bella," I said. "I go by Bella."

"Aren't you from Southern California?" she asked. "I thought you'd be more tan."

"Nope; pasty pale, just like everyone else here," I said.

She got this funny kind of look on her face, like she smelled something odd. I repeated my words in my head and realized what I said. Crap, now I'd gone and insulted someone. I meant to imply that I fit in, instead of standing out. All I did was showcase my inability to talk to people like a normal teenage girl.

"Uh, yeah... well, thanks," she said and turned away.

Oh, well, no help for it... my social skills were not up for this. I decided to keep a running tally of how many people I alienated that day. To protect the innocent, I used letters instead of full names; J x1.

I realized I hadn't actually spoken to my Dad yet this morning and started to get antsy. I wanted to text him but wasn't sure of the cell phone policy. I grabbed my handbook and started searching a little frantically. Happy as I had been to have the house to myself that morning, keeping a link to my dad was still crucial. He was all I had left.

Luckily, he never minded the multiple texts I sent him during the day and always replied back even if he was busy, if just to send a "bz" to me. I found the correct spot in the handbook and saw that the rules were going to be easy to follow. I could send and check text messages in between classes but no actual calls unless there was an emergency. Keeping the ringer off was a no-brainer.

The bell rang, letting me know it was time to head to my first class. Like the bell was a cattle call, we all started to herd out of the classroom and into the hall. I always thought those stupid bells were very dehumanizing. At least I was happy about which class I had first. It was AP Calculus, and the complex equations would keep my mind off of where I was.

I headed out into the hallway and sent the text to my dad. It was a simple note letting him know I was here and not lost somewhere in the middle of Forks. I kept my head down and avoided looking at the other kids as I walked. I wasn't ready for eye contact yet. Considering how clumsy I was, it was always a good idea to keep a close watch on what my feet were doing anyway. I was much more likely to trip on nothing than walk into something.

Ooph! Next thing I knew, I was on my ass in the middle of the hallway. All the kids were laughing, and I could feel myself turn beet red as tears formed in my eyes. I was so embarrassed! I had walked right into something after all. I didn't know what I had banged into. It felt like a wall, but there wouldn't be one in the middle of the hallway. I sat there for a moment longer, not wanting to look up and see everyone pointing and snickering at me. I was about to hoist myself up when a very large, very pale, hand appeared in front of my face. While all I wanted was to be ignored, someone was trying to help.

I took the hand and looked up. The owner of the hand stood in front of me with a sheepish grin on his face. He was a huge guy, well over six feet tall and solid muscle. "Sorry for getting in your way. Are you okay?" he said.

I was about to answer him, when I realized there was something different about him. My words stuck in my throat as my brain processed what I was seeing. I stood there, staring at him, and felt my heart start to race. It was his skin that was causing me to freak out. It's paleness was well beyond that of a normal person. There was no life at all in the chalk-like tone. It had a dull sheen, similar to marble. There had been only one other time that I had seen skin like that.

Before I knew it, my feet were moving me backward as fast as possible. I no longer cared what anyone thought of me. My sole focus was on getting away from him.

I noticed a bathroom and darted in. I could tell the room was empty, so I quickly locked the door with the bolt. I deflated like a balloon. My back was up against a wall, and I let myself slide down to the floor. I sat there, barely breathing, as I started to compare the boy from the hall with a memory I had tried to suppress for as long as I could remember… my mother's killer.


	2. Chapter 2

**(Chapter 2)**

_**A/N: Again, this is a rewrite of the original chapter 2. Things are a little but different but not too much. Mainly, the wording is just much more pleasant to read and much less mistakes. I hope you enjoy! Thanks again to Branchirps and Sarita Dreaming for pre-read and Beta services! Any mistakes are mine alone...Twilight characters belong to Stephanie Meyer...**_

_I was seven years old, and my mom had taken me for a walk in the woods to look at all the spring wild flowers. It was an annual tradition for us, and I looked forward to it every year. At the time, we were living in a little town in Rhode Island. The town was mostly farms and woods with plenty of trails for us to explore. _

_On that particular day, we were walking along when, out of nowhere it seemed, there was someone in front of us: a man with blond hair, very disheveled in appearance. My mother and I both immediately tensed up. It wasn't that unusual to run across other hikers, but this one had the strangest look on his face. It was as if he was in ecstasy. His face was tilted up, and his nostrils opened wide like he was trying to breath in every scent he could. After a moment, his face dropped down, and his eyes locked onto ours. I was horrified to see that his eyes were red—blood red—like a nightmare come to life. My mother was clearly terrified but moved to protect me by getting between me and the man. We stood there, praying he would start to move away from us…knowing he wouldn't. Then, he spoke._

"_Mm-mm… Your scent is the most luscious I have ever experienced in all my time on earth."_

_He directed his comment to me as I was peeking out from behind my mother. His tone sounded as if he intended to compliment me. His voice was smooth, smooth in a way a snake glides across the ground. I broke out into a cold sweat and started to shake just from hearing it._

_He raised his head again and took another deep breath in through his nose before continuing, "A child—you had to be a child—the one sin I have not yet committed. Lack of interest, really; humans just taste better as adults. I wonder: what will you taste like when you are older? I can't imagine anything more delicious than the blood I smell now. Absolutely amazing."_

_I didn't understand, was he talking about…eating me? Was he a cannibal? But how could he smell my blood? I wasn't bleeding. I knew what my blood smelled like, and it was no different than anyone else's. The odor made me sick every time I was near it. _

_In a flash, he was right in front of us. I hadn't even seen him move, it had been so fast. He looked normal, except for the eyes. His hair was long and blond, and he wore a jacket with jeans. I would have guessed he was younger than my mom if it wasn't for the odd way he spoke. _

_Then__, he spoke to my mom. "Normally, I wouldn't harm a mother while with her child. After all, children aren't safe when left alone. I'd hate to put my future sustenance in danger. I'm afraid, though, that after smelling your daughter's blood, I can't walk away. I must feed on someone, and you're the only other human here right now. If it makes you feel any better, your girl will be safe. I fully intend for her to live to maturity. Humans are surprisingly resilient."_

_My mother was frantic, trying to keep hold of me and back away. She was begging him not to hurt us. He would let us get a few feet away from him and then he would dart back in front of us again, speeding too fast for us to see him actually move. I was in shock and clinging to my mother, staring at him with eyes open so wide they hurt._

_After a couple moments, he gave me a quick smile. "Be right back, young female."_

_With that, he grabbed my mother out of my arms and sped away into the forest. I tried to follow but couldn't go nearly fast enough. I ran and ran until my legs were too tired to go on. I was lost and frantic, breathing heavy and fast. Everything in front of me started to blur, and colors began to swirl in front of my eyes. I felt my eyes close and my knees bend as I fell forward to the ground. I must have blacked out because when I next opened my eyes, I was propped against a tree, and the monster was sitting next to me. It looked as if he had been waiting very patiently for me to wake up. He began to speak to me as if we were friends, and he hadn't just destroyed my life by taking my mother away from me._

_"I was waiting for you to wake up. I wanted to make sure you were safe. As I sat here, an interesting idea occurred to me. I must tell you, my existence has gotten a bit boring as of late. Occasionally, I need to make games for myself. So now, I have a new game!" He gave me a big smile as if I should be pleased at this news. I could only stare at him, hardly comprehending what he was saying._

"_I'm going to tell you a secret, a very dangerous secret. Now, if I know my humans, this secret should pretty much ensure that your every waking moment is spent in fear. If there was anything I could do at all to help your blood taste better, this is it. And, when I come back for you in several years, the experience will be all that much better when I finally get to drink."_

_I couldn't imagine what secret he could possibly tell me that would scare me even more than I was already. My heart was racing so fast, I felt any more fear would kill me._

"_So, sweet girl, here it is…I'm a…VAMPIRE!" He shouted the last word and spread his arms wide open as if presenting himself to me. He started to laugh at the look on my face as I took in his words._

_A vampire? I barely knew what that was. I had asked my mom once why The Count on Sesame Street had fangs, and she said it was because he was a vampire. I must have looked confused instead of more scared because he because a disappointed look came over his face, and his arms dropped._

"_Hmmm, guess you don't know what a vampire is yet. Well, I just took your mom, bit her neck, and drank all her blood. That is how I feed. You've seen me move. I'm not human, and I live forever. In around another decade or so, I'm going to come back for you and do the exact same thing to you that I did to your mom. Get it now?"_

_I got it. I started to cry and tried to get on my feet to run, but I couldn't manage._

"_Here's the important part: you must never tell anyone what I just told you. It's a big secret! If you tell anyone, I will know. I will come back and kill your father just like I did your mother. You will be all alone." He placed his index finger in front of his mouth and narrowed his red eyes at me to reinforce the message._

_In the next moment, he darted away as if disappearing into thin air. I was in shock and let my body fall back to the ground, curling into a ball and crying until I blacked out again. My next memory was of waking up in my father's arms._

_My father explained to me that I was found by the police, wandering on the road. My mother's body was located a few hours later, totally drained of blood._

Slowly, I came back to the present, sitting on the nasty floor of a high school bathroom. I had no problem keeping the image of the vampire in my memory, though. Thinking about it now, I could feel a cold sweat form on my body, and my pulse started to race, I was in danger of losing my focus. Lowering my eye lids again, I tried to compare the person from the hallway with the vampire from my past. The skin seemed identical; it was the eyes that were very different. The guy in the hallway didn't have red eyes. I would have remembered that no matter how distracted I was by his skin. The exact color didn't come to me right then; I think they were some kind of hazel, definitely not red. I wasn't sure what that meant. Did hazel eyes automatically disqualify him from being a vampire? Or was there a chance he was hiding red eyes with colored contacts?

Trying to figure this out was actually calming me down. Hoisting myself up off of the floor, I went to the sink to splash some water on my face. As I continued to think about the guy I'd bumped into, I put the vampire memory away for the moment. He'd tried to help me when I fell. When he spoke to me, he had a friendly look on his face. Thinking about him now, there really wasn't anything to scare the average person. It wasn't even like pale skin was all that uncommon here in the Pacific Northwest. I'd done a lot of research on vampires in the last ten years; stupid TV shows aside, it didn't make sense that one would attend high school. Obviously, I was just really stressed from the move and everything else, in addition to my regular daily dose of fear that came from just getting older—_and more seasoned_.

The warning bell rang for the start of the next class. I took a look at myself in the mirror to make sure I didn't appear all scared banshee like. My eyes were still a bit red but, as long as I kept my hair down, I'd be fine. I headed out of the bathroom and made my way towards my first class.

AP Calc went well, since I was already familiar with most of the material. The other morning classes seemed pretty easy, too. If I was lucky, I'd get to coast through the rest of the year. Lunch loomed, though, always the most difficult part of the day at a new school. Where would I sit? Should I sit at an empty table or risk a table with others? What would attract the least attention? So far, that one conversation with Jessica had been the only one I'd had to endure. Keeping my head down allowed me to be ignored.

After some thought, I decided on the strategy I used for lunch at the last new school I went to. Get there early, grab food as fast as possible and then sit at an empty table. It didn't look odd to be at an empty table if they were all empty.

When I got to the cafeteria, things went according to plan. I found a nice table in the far back corner. Lunch was a lovely Tex-Mex thing that looked like someone sneezed on a taco shell. Happily, tater tots were in abundance and easy to eat one handed while I read a book with the other. _Gotta love the tots!_

I had managed to tune out the rest of the room when I heard a smooth, disdainful voice next to me. "You're going to have to sit somewhere else; you're at our table."

I looked up after hearing those words and was struck dumb for the second time that day. The person talking to me was female, but she had the exact same pale skin as the guy I had bumped into earlier. The bright lights in the cafeteria actually made her skin look even whiter than his had. Looking at her, I wasn't sure which was stunning me more, her paleness or her beauty. She was way prettier than any actress or model I had ever seen. Regardless, she was fucking scaring me shitless.

The look on her face said she wanted to rip me to pieces. Unlike the friendly guy from the hall, I had no problem thinking she could be a vampire. I noticed, too, that her eyes weren't hazel like I thought I'd seen on the other guy—they were a creepy yellow color…like a cat. I couldn't believe someone so freaky was just walking around a high school like it was nothing! This was too much. I knew myself—I may be shy but I didn't scare easily. Really, a vampire was the _only_ thing that could scare me. Even if I had no actual proof, my reaction convinced me. This girl, and the guy from the hall, were actually vampires; just like the one that had killed my mother.

As I sat there staring up at her, that same guy from the hall I was comparing her to approached and put an arm around her. They were clearly a couple, not related. Yet, the resemblance between the two of them was clear. Same skin, same eyes, too, now that I could see his better. He spoke to her in a calming voice.

"Rose, come on; we can sit somewhere else."

He turned to look at me and must have been startled by what he saw. "Hey, you okay?" he asked. "My name's Emmett, this is Rosalie."

I found my voice and managed to answer, "Bella. I'm Bella." I'm sure I looked like a psycho with my jaw dropped down to my knees and my eyes round as saucers. I wanted to run, but I was cornered.

"Emmett? Rose? What do we have here?"

A third pale-skinned student arrived. This one just about put me over the edge. He was tall and lean, like a runner. He was absolutely gorgeous, with hair an amazing dark bronze color, but his eyes were pitch black. I nearly shit myself looking at his eyes. He took a brief glance at me and then turned back to the others.

"What did you guys do to her? She looks scared to death." The way he talked, he didn't sound like he cared all that much.

Emmett spoke again, "Rose just asked her to leave the table."

He then turned back to me. "This is Edward; he's my brother. You don't look so good; do you need some help?"

"I'm sorry," I managed to croak out. "I'll get out of your way if you'll just please excuse me."

Rosalie took a step back, so I had barely enough room to edge by her. She seemed to enjoy my fear. Once I was by them, I got out of that room as fast as I could. I gave up on lunch and headed for the library, needing a quiet place to think.

The library was just what I needed to gather my thoughts. I'd always loved books, and being surrounded by them was a comfort. I felt like any answer I needed would somehow be on one of these shelves. Settling down, I started to work through what was going on.

A couple years after the attack, I had started to research vampires whenever I could without anyone noticing. I had never admitted to anyone what the creature was that killed my mother. I knew it wouldn't do any good, and I was just too afraid of being locked up in a mental hospital away from the only parent I had left. My research had left me an expert on all things vampire, but it was all based on lore and tradition. I was never able to find a truly factual sounding account of vampire existence. Some things like pale skin and immortality were present in all the tales. Others, like being defenseless against holy water and garlic were present in some, but not all. There were many stories that portrayed vampires as having no weakness at all and as being incredibly strong and fast. They were also said to be extremely charismatic, able to draw their prey in by their dulcet voices and sweet smell.

The door to the library opened, startling me. I looked up to see who it was and felt all my nerves start to go into panic mode again. It was the tall, lean one from the cafeteria…Edward. He was walking toward me and had obviously come looking for me. I froze in place, unable to move a muscle as I frantically realized we were all alone in here. I could hear that I was breathing too fast and knew that if I didn't calm down soon, I was going to start to hyperventilate and maybe black out. The thought of being unconscious, in a room with..._that_…scared me even more.

"Hello," he said. "Are you okay? You ran away so fast, I was worried you were sick. Do you need some help?" His voice was low and his tone that of someone trying to calm a skittish horse. He held up a hand and moved toward me a little as if he worried I might fall.

Almost against my will, I felt myself begin to relax. Even though he looked otherworldly, his words were perfectly normal, and he seemed concerned for me. My mind started working again, and I was trying to think about what I should say. Acting nice or not, I truly did not believe he was human, and while it didn't appear he intended to do me harm at the moment, I couldn't quite feel safe in a room with him.

He spoke again, "I'm Edward Cullen. It didn't look like you heard my name before. You're Bella?"

By now he must have thought I was some kind of head case. I had to say something.

"Yes," I said. "Sorry, I'm just a little flustered from the table thing at lunch. I didn't want to piss someone off before my first day was even over. I was planning to check out the library anyway. No big deal."

He just stood there looking at me with raised eyebrows. I could tell he wanted to call "bullshit" on me but was too polite. I wanted him to leave, so I could think some more. I couldn't concentrate with him standing there, all perfect looking but freaking me out at the same time.

"Well," I said, "I apologize for making your lunch awkward. I know now to stay away from that table."

"All right, Bella," he replied. "I'll take your word for it and leave you be."

With that, he turned around and walked out the door. Even his walk looked unreal…inhuman.

I needed to think. For now, I was assuming that my lucky-as-fuck ass was attending school with at least three vampires. I had no idea if the other students knew what they were or if the vampires were pretending to be human. How on earth anyone could think them normal was beyond me. Since I wasn't about to go talking to the other kids about them, I didn't know how I'd find out what other kids thought of them. I would have to observe whenever I could.

I was afraid that if the vampires were trying to keep their true nature a secret, and if they knew that I was aware of what they were, they would decide I was a danger and get rid of me. And, if _I_ was in danger from them, then so was my dad. That scared me the most. I already had one parent die because of me. I needed to start hiding my reactions better so they wouldn't know I was terrified every time I was near one of them. It was a dead giveaway.

It was weird; while I was certainly very scared, I found that I was also really fucking pissed off. As if knowing that there was a vampire out there planning to come for me at any time wasn't bad enough, I was now attending school with them as well. For all I knew, they were reporting back to him on exactly how I smelled. At this point, anything was possible. I didn't know what the fuck I had ever done to deserve this.

For the time being, there was nothing I could do except go to my next class and try to figure out what was going on in this place. If I couldn't control my reactions, well…there were other ways I knew of to appear unafraid.

**A/N I would love to hear what you think - please review! If you have had read the previous version of this and the last chapter - do you like the changes?**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Just a note that there is discussion here, and will be in other chapters, of under-age drug use. If this bothers you, you may prefer to move on to a different story. I do not condone such use but needed it for the plot. As always, Stephanie Meyer owns all the Twilight characters.**

**Edward POV:**

I walked into lunch expecting more of the same banal thoughts I'd been hearing all day long about the new girl in school. Apparently she was nice to look at, but not much of a talker. Of course, several of the immature male youths here thought that was a great combination. Their thoughts were like mental pollution, so I tried to ignore them as much as possible. Human minds hadn't really changed much over the past century.

As I made my way to the lunch line, I noticed that Rosalie and Emmett were standing in front of our table. The new girl, "Isabella, call me Bella," had beaten us to our regular seats. Of course, Rosalie wouldn't simply sit somewhere else; she had to go and fuck with the girl instead. I loved my sister, but there was no way around it—she was a bitch. I could see Bella's face in Emmett's mind, and she looked really freaked. I tried to see what she was thinking, but there was nothing there. That was new… I had never come across a human whose mind I couldn't read clear as words on a page. I detoured over to the table to try to figure this out.

"Emmett? Rose? What do we have here?"

The girl looked at me, and I could see she was terrified. Still, her mind was blank. I was eye to eye with her, and yet I couldn't detect a single thought. Maybe she was too scared to think; although, I'd scared the fuck out of plenty of people before and never had a problem reading any of them.

"I'm sorry," she said, breaking my concentration. "I'll get out of your way, if you'll just please excuse me." She seemed to be rushing and mumbling the words at the same time. I'm not even sure a human would have understood.

I watched her inch past Rosalie and then scoot out the door as fast as she could without actually running. Em and Rose turned to me, clearly expecting that I would be able to shed some light on the girl's odd behavior. I wasn't ready to admit defeat yet, so I simply told them I was going to follow her and see if she was all right. I saw in Emmett's mind that she'd had the same reaction when he ran into her earlier, and I was starting to get a bit concerned that she'd seen through our human façade.

As I turned to head out of the cafeteria, I saw Alice and Jasper enter the room. Alice was moving much slower than usual, and I could tell she was having one of her visions. Normally, she kept her expression blank during a vision so as not to tip off the other humans. This one seemed to be bad, though, since her face was all scrunched up in concentration. Despite the gravity of the situation, I couldn't help but notice that she looked like a human with constipation issues. It was nice to make myself chuckle once in awhile.

They reached the table, and Alice finally looked up at the rest of us. The worried look on her face was not a good sign.

"I don't know what's going on." She whispered very low and fast, "I'm getting so many visions at once that I can't make sense of any of them. It's like things are changing all over the place. All of a sudden, our future is completely undecided... what's happening?"

I answered her, "I think it may have something to do with the new girl. She fucking freaks any time she sees one of us. Rosalie was giving her some shit about sitting at our table, but she acted like we killed her cat or something." I still wasn't ready to let on that I couldn't see inside her head. Most of the time I hated my gift, but it was the one thing—_the_ _one thing—_I had to contribute to my family for keeping us under cover.

"Ah, fuck," Emmett broke in. "Do you think she knows what we are? That would really suck monkey ass so close to graduation. Fuck me." He sat down heavily in a chair, pissed off at the thought of having to leave.

We'd only been in Forks for a couple of years. If we avoided detection, we could stay at least another four or five before people started to notice we weren't aging. Of course, if we were outed as vampires before then, our stay would be cut drastically short. It was the one rule of our kind—the humans could not know what we were. Ridiculous that we had to hide from them when we're higher on the food chain. But that was the law, and it was punishable by the only death available to a vampire—rip and burn.

"I'm not moving to a new town and starting high school all over again just because of some frightened child!" Rosalie exploded.

I could see that Jasper was stressing, trying to help reassure Alice and now attempting to calm Rosalie down before she attracted attention. We all kind of noticed at the exact same time that, other than Emmett, we hadn't sat down yet. Since we were talking as only vampires can do—itoo low for the humans to hear and too fast for them to see—it must have looked like we were standing there for no reason. Very unusual for us and the human children were starting to turn our way to see what was going on.

"All right," I began, "I'm going to go check on the girl. Em, Jas, go grab some food while Alice and Rosalie stay at the table. Try to look normal. Someone contact Carlisle to see what he thinks."

My siblings agreed, and I saw Alice get her cell out so she could call Carlisle, the head of our family. I once again headed toward the exit to find Bella. Her scent had been distinct from everyone else and was easy to track. Now that I had a chance to pay attention, I noticed her blood smelled tangier than normal—somewhat spicy. All humans were different from each other in flavor, but hers had a definite distinction setting it apart from the rest. Bella was turning out to be quite the puzzle. I had to admit, I didn't really give a shit if we had to move again; vampire life was fucking boring no matter where we were. This Bella was the first interesting thing to happen in decades, and I was much more intrigued than bothered.

Bella's scent led me toward the hall to the library. Approaching the doors, I peered in through the window, and I saw Bella sitting at one of the tables next to the check out desk. She was just kind of slumped in her chair, looking at the stacks of books, but not really focusing on them; clearly deep in thought. It was hard to get a good look at her with that big hood around her face. Her thoughts were still a blank. I waited a bit hoping to be able to judge her mood before I approached but I had nothing to go by.

Finally, I just said 'fuck it' and opened the door. I watched her as I approached and saw her head dart up as she looked to see who was coming in. Her hood fell back from her face, and I got my first good look at her with my own eyes. Hardly ever did a human's appearance stand out to me. Bella's did. She had auburn hair, and her eyes were the color of chocolate, milk chocolate swirled with dark. I couldn't remember the way chocolate tasted but the association was still pleasant and it carried over to this girl.

It had been nearly one hundred years since I was changed, and other than a decade that I preferred to not think about, I had generally ignored humans as much as I could. They held no interest to me and were easy to disregard. I initiated no conversations, keeping to myself as much as possible. Despite the distance I kept from them, my ability to read minds left me an expert on human relations; however, I found myself a bit unsure of how to approach this girl who was clearly scared of me and my family. I decided I needed to be as calm and soothing as possible and hope for the best.

The conversation we ended up having was short and simple; she was clearly uncomfortable talking to me and wanted to be alone. I left the library and headed towards my locker to get books for my next class: Biology. As I walked, I thought about my talk with Bella. The words we exchanged meant nothing, really; it was her face that fascinated yet worried me. Expressions moved across her features one after the other, constantly changing: fear, uncertainty, even anger, and, somehow, always sadness. I felt... I felt like I wanted to comfort her... assure her... make that sadness go away. It was more than a need to protect my family; I wanted to protect… _her_. Unfortunately, I was no closer to knowing what caused her extreme reactions to my family and myself. Oddly enough, the idea that I was going to need to keep digging didn't bother me at all.

**Bella POV**

I managed to find my way back to my locker and grab my books for the afternoon classes. It was hard to focus on the normalcy of school, but I needed to make an effort if I was going to seem oblivious to the vampires walking among us. Biology was in a separate science building. I did not appreciate having to go out into the rain to get to a class. _Hadn't these people ever heard of covered walk-ways or tunnels? You'd think with all the rain that would have been a no-brainer._

Rushing into the classroom to get out of the rain, I hung my jacket on a hook by the door. The hood from my sweatshirt was soaking wet, so I took that off, too. Wearing just a t-shirt left me feeling exposed, but I couldn't stand to wear the heavy, wet cotton. My hair had gotten all tangled up in the process, and it took me a few moments to get it out of my eyes and lying flat down my back again. Once my rat's nest was finally out of the way, I took a look around the room to see if anyone was watching me. I was relieved to see there were only a few students in the room, and they weren't looking in my direction.

The science room was typical; with tall, black tables that each had room for two students. _Great, I'll be expected to work with a partner._ Science itself was fun; having to work with a partner sucked.

Since I did not yet have an assigned seat, I stayed where I was near the coat rack, waiting for the teacher. Student after student came in and sat at the tables, and I was feeling really self-conscious, so I started flipping through my book to keep busy. As I stood there examining a picture of a dissected frog, a chill washed over my skin as someone brushed by me. I looked up and saw that it was _him—Edward—_who had just entered the room. He took a seat at an empty table and immediately looked toward me, right into my eyes. It was almost as if he was trying to see into my head. Immediately my breath caught in my lungs, and my eyes widened as that same fear shot through my body. It took a huge effort, but I was able to calm myself down as soon as I realized what was happening. Unfortunately, it didn't look like those black eyes of his had missed anything; the look of concentration on his face was only more intense. I needed to learn how to control myself better.

Breaking away from his gaze, a fresh look of the room revealed a horrifying circumstance—every seat in the room was taken… except for the one next to Edward. I turned to the door, desperately hoping to see another student come in who might take that last seat. Maybe the class was full and I could take another… _please, please, please! _

The teacher hurried into the room as the final bell rang. He shut the door behind him, leaving me trapped in the room with the empty seat and the vampire. I could feel the terror rise inside of me again and had to work once more to settle down.

The teacher seemed flustered from being late and simply waved me towards the chair next to Edward. Reaching the table much too soon, I slipped into my seat and put my books on the table as a meager barrier between the two of us. A twist of my neck allowed my hair to fall along the side of my face closest to him, blocking our view of each other. Putting the science book in front of me, I resumed my examination of the frog, hoping to give the impression of shy-geek girl. _Please leave me alone!_

"Hello again." His voice was that same soothing tone, trying to put me at ease.

I mumbled a "Hi" back and resumed reading. No way was I ready to have another conversation with him. Hopefully he would get the hint and leave me the fuck alone. I was actually starting to get irritated about how often I had to interact with him. Maybe that was better than fear—easier to hide anyway.

"Did you find what you were looking for in the library?" He seemed intent on initiating the conversation I wanted to avoid.

Inwardly, I gave a big sigh. Obviously, I was going to have to talk with him to keep up some facade of normalcy.

"Yes, thank you." Once again, I went back to my text book hoping he would leave me alone. I huffed a little sigh, hoping he'd get the hint. Vampire or not, I was getting ready to stab him with my pencil.

"Are you enjoying Forks so far?"

That was it; I gave up and actually chuckled a bit. Someone so obtuse didn't seem very dangerous after all. Maybe he was a special-ed vampire and that was why he was in high school. I decided I better give him the conversation he was looking for. Brief amusement aside, he could end me at any time. Luckily, his idiocy was actually helping me to be able to talk to him normally.

"It's too cold and wet here. I miss the California sun."

He gave a funny kind of look when he heard my reply. It was like it amused him for some reason. Maybe it was the sun thing. My research had been fairly consistent that sun and vampires did not mix.

"Why did you move here?" he asked. "It doesn't sound like this is where you want to be."

I hadn't really looked at him yet as I was still trying to avoid my standard freak out. His blatant nosiness startled me, though, and I had to turn to face him to see the look on his face. He looked mildly curious; not what I expected.

"It's actually kinda complicated; we had to move for my father's job."

"I think I can keep up." he replied.

_Gee, arrogant much?_

By now, after being close and facing him for a few moments, I began to notice something. He smelled really fucking good! It wasn't cologne. The scent was hard to describe... kind of sweet but not like a cookie. Almost against my will, I was drawing closer to him to get more.

I realized what I was doing and, all of a sudden, he didn't seem funny anymore. The fucker was trying some of that vampire mojo on me to get me to calm down. There was no doubt in my mind that he knew exactly what he was doing. I turned back to my book and let my hair fall into place between us again. I could feel my pulse start to beat really fast. It was time to finish this conversation.

"Edward?" I said in the most pleading voice I could manage. "I think I'd really rather not talk about my family life right now. I'm not sure why you're curious, but I'm a private person, and I don't know you. If you'd like to tell me _your_ secrets, I'm happy to listen."

_There! That should put him in his place._

Edward gave a small chuckle. "I'm sorry for prying. You seem different from the other students here, so I was curious. Maybe we can talk another time."

Finally, a bit of respite from the questions. Thankfully, class came to a start right about then with the teacher calling us to order and explaining the lesson for the day. Yet another class where I already knew the material. It was a good thing I was probably going to be dead before I got to go to college considering the sub-par quality of the school I was now attending. _Yeah…I had learned to find humor in my situation._

Edward's questions brought me back to the events that led to our move to Forks. I felt my cheeks get hot and red as I remembered. I'd been sick of everything: sick of missing my mom, sick of small town life, sick of always feeling lonely because I could never fit in. Kids were constantly making fun of me, and I always felt like a pathetic loser. My mother would have been so disappointed in me. I wanted—_no, needed—_to spend some time away from myself.

So, I did what was probably the stupidest thing I'd ever done before and obtained some crystal meth from a local dealer. I wasn't going to play around with so called "gateway" drugs like pot or alcohol. All the things I had heard about meth being addictive, super fast, and hard made it seem like a miracle drug. The before and after shots of meth users in the anti-drug ads gave me even more incentive. Maybe if I destroyed myself obviously enough, the vampire would no longer think I would taste good when he came back for me.

Luckily for me, my first meth experience landed me directly in the hospital. The dealer was brave enough to literally throw me out of his moving car at the entrance to the emergency room. It was close enough, though. The nurses inside had seen what happened and ran right out to help. It took me three days in the hospital to recover enough to leave. I was charged with the drug use, but my dad got it thrown out by agreeing to have me admitted to a rehab facility for six weeks.

Rehab was a joke. I couldn't exactly explain that my life sucked ass because a vampire was seasoning me for a big blood sucking feast sometime in the future. Even I knew that without honesty, therapy was worthless. I bided my time and said all the right things to ensure they'd let me out when the six weeks was up.

The worst part of the whole ordeal was knowing I'd disappointed my Dad. He'd lost his job because of what I had done. The voters figured if he couldn't keep me in line, he wasn't going to be able to handle the whole town. He reassured me that he was just happy to have me back in one piece and that the job was no big deal. I had a very hard time believing he could forgive and forget that easily. He loved my mom, and I bet he wished that it had been me that had died instead of her. Children grow up and move on, and it's easy enough to have another one, but he'll never find another woman like her.

Ah, fuck… I would have been better off matching wits with the annoying guy next to me. Now I was about to start sobbing because of my memories and really make an ass of myself. Thankfully, the bell chose that moment to sound my reprieve, and I was out the door. I did notice, though, that Edward made it through that same door quite a bit faster than me and the rest of the class.

**A/N: Reviews make me squeal with joy! Please leave one?**


	4. Chapter 4

****A/N: I am so sorry for the long delay! You can blame: vacation, contest entry and insane poison oak exposure. As always, thanks much to Branchirps and Saritadreaming for their help in making this fic so much better than it was. SM owns the characters, I own all the mistakes.****

****A/N2 10.22.11 - had to make a change regarding past interaction with Quileute as it turns out I had it wrong. Thanks to KzintiKiller for helping me figure it out during a Twitter convo!****

**Edward POV**

I continued to watch Bella after she so gently requested that I stop questioning her. I had to give an inward chuckle at her choice of words; I was being rude, and she was right to call me on it. Her offer to listen to my secrets was a unique way to tell me to mind my own business without being rude in return.

As I sat and thought about why I cared so much to know what was in this girl's head, I noticed a new heat had started to radiate from Bella, and the smell of her blood had grown stronger. Turning to see what was going on, I saw she appeared very introspective, and her face had turned bright red in an obvious blush. While I cursed this talent of mine for failing me now when I needed it the most, I couldn't help but take an extra large inhale to breathe in her enhanced scent. I'd pretty much grown immune to the smell of human blood, but her slightly different…flavor…for lack of a better word, was really starting to appeal to me. Something that had been dormant inside of me for quite some time was starting to perk up a bit. This was worrisome but, I had to admit, a bit _interesting_at the same time. It gave me something to think about anyway, different from the usual drabble in my head.

From the blush, I deduced that Bella's own thoughts were embarrassing her. I wondered…so many of the other females in this school spent an inordinate amount of time fantasizing about me…could she be doing the same? It was annoying when those others did it…but for Bella to do so…annoyance is not quite the reaction that came to mind. Another thought to ponder at my leisure; she sure was giving me a lot to think about.

As I took a closer look at her, I noticed that there was sadness in her eyes along with the blush on her cheeks. I realized I was being an arrogant asshole and her blush more than likely had nothing to do with me, other than my intrusive questions bringing back memories she'd rather not face in a full classroom. A new level of chagrin surfaced within me as I realized the depth of discomfort I was causing her.

My responsibility to my family, however, dictated that I try to find out exactly what was causing her extreme reactions to us. My family depended on me to be the watchdog for any possibility that local humans were becoming aware that we were not as we seemed. Even though I could not read Bella's mind, I still felt it was my job to find out what she thought about us. Maybe I was only looking for an excuse to probe further…either way...I wasn't going to give up on learning more about her.

Biology ended, and I made my way through the rest of the day even more detached from the humans than usual. I answered the typical irritating questions from the teachers who always tried to be the one to catch me without the correct response. Even without my ability to read minds, none of these teachers would be able to challenge a vampire that had received two elite doctorate degrees among a host of others. I suppose it was egotistical of me to never want to give the wrong answer. School was bad enough, listening to the same drivel day after day, damned if I was going to appear ignorant on top of that.

Finally the last bell rang signaling our release from the building. I met my siblings at the car, as usual, and was immediately bombarded with their loud thoughts. Rosalie's were the most contentious as the thought of moving was abhorrent to her. It wasn't only starting high school again; it was also having her actions dictated by those she sought to avoid, those that reminded her of what she could no longer have.

"Edward, does she know what we are?" she practically shrieked in her thoughts. "I can't move again! We are almost out of high school, finally! There's no other place we can be outside as much as this..."

Her thoughts started to taper off in a more inward direction. I could see an idea forming in her head and moved to crush it expeditiously.

"Rosalie!" I shouted, "We're not going to harm her! You know Carlisle would never support that. It's not her fault we are what we are; she won't be hurt because of us!"

I couldn't believe she wanted to off a human simply to avoid us having to relocate. Yeah, it sucked, but if we were going to start killing them for such trite reasons, we may as well start drinking them all dry like we were meant to do. That shit from her really pissed me off considering all the effort we put into living among our former species.

"It's not my fucking fault either!" she said. "I'm so sick of the constant moving and worrying about being found out. I didn't choose this; why shouldn't someone else suffer for once instead of me!"

Emmett started trying to calm her down, and Jasper used his emotion control to help. It was hard for me to feel bad for her when she was often inconsiderate of the rest of us. Dealing with the constant depression she felt at the loss of her humanity left her little in the way of kindness for her family. Deep down though, she loved us all, and I tried to keep that in mind.

"Let's just go home." I said, "Carlisle has had all day to find out if there is anything in Bella or Chief Swan's past that would explain them knowing about us. We can talk about it then."

"Alice, have you been able to see anything yet?" I asked.

"When I try to see her future, or our future because of her, everything is just blurry. It's like she is going to have some impact on us, but nothing is close to being decided. I think she's just all emotion right now and no logic."

"That's how she was in Biology," I said. "One moment she seemed ready to freak out, the next she seemed mad, then she just seemed sad. I guess we'll just have to wait to see if Carlisle has any information."

During the ride home, my siblings talked amongst themselves, and I was able to tune them out while thinking about the mystery that was Bella. Somehow, she had been exposed to the vampire world and lived to tell about it. Such a circumstance was almost unheard of due to the Volturi's rigid rule of remaining undiscovered. It was a rare vampire willing to risk dismemberment and fire just to play with their food. Still, we vampires were a bored lot most of the time; I could certainly imagine the minutia of our existence driving one to take chances normally untaken.

Pulling into the driveway of our Fork's house, I took a moment to appreciate our current residence as my siblings exited the car. This home we had made here in the wilderness by the river never failed to provide some calm to us all. It was a beautiful, old house that my adoptive mother, Esme, had restored to a true sanctuary. Soon, it would be twilight, and we would all feel that bit of relief that comes from making it through another day, into the safety of night. At least, we hopefully would. We still had to see what Carlisle was able to find out.

Carlisle and Esme were already at the dining room table waiting for us when we entered the room. All of our important family meetings took place at this table; we certainly didn't need it for eating, so it was good that it got some use. We took our seats and looked to our father figure to see what he had to say.

"Well," he said, "I managed to find out a bit about Bella's past. It was actually pretty easy since her family was featured in several Rhode Island area papers around ten years ago. Sadly, Bella's mother was the victim of a violent murder, and her body was found drained of all blood. Bella was with her mother at the time but was too traumatized to tell anyone what she saw. It was assumed she had blocked the memory, but it appears that may not be completely true."

"No!" Rosalie shouted. "How can that be? What vampire would have left her alive? It's not true! I don't want to leave just because some girl lost her mother. What about me? What about what _I_ have lost? I do not want to start high school all over again! We get to be almost normal here!"

"Rose, please calm down!" Carlisle pleaded. "What would you have me do? She obviously knows what we are. We can't stay, or we risk her telling everyone."

"Her life is forfeit; she should have died at the hands of that vampire. We would just be righting a wrong, doing what the Volturi would expect us to do," Rose said.

I started to jump up to protest, but Carlisle held up a hand to ask me to stay seated.

"Rosalie," he said, "I realize you are upset, but surely you are not suggesting we kill this innocent, young girl because she knows what we are? That would go against everything I thought you believed in." Carlisle was clearly disappointed in Rosalie.

"Carlisle...Rosalie," Alice broke in, "I know I can't see her future yet, but I don't think she is planning to expose us. If that was her plan, I would have seen it by now. Maybe we can stay until she makes a decision, in case she chooses to keep our secret?"

"Why would she do that?" Carlisle asked. "She has no reason to protect our kind, considering it may have been a vampire who killed her mother."

"You should have seen her today, Carlisle," Alice replied. "She is painfully shy and afraid of attention. I think she would be too scared of what people would think of her if she started to claim we were vampires. It was like all she wanted was to be invisible. Maybe that is why I can not see her..."

"Carlisle, please?" Rosalie asked. "Can we wait to see? I'll leave her alone; I promise! I won't give her any more reasons to fear us."

Carlisle turned to me. "Edward, what do you think? It seems you spent the most time with her."

I took a moment to consider before I answered Carlisle's question. It seemed pretty clear that she knew what we were. She was trying to hide it, but maybe she didn't realize how observant a vampire was. We all had perfect recall of her reactions from what we saw whenever she came upon one of us, and fear was very much in evidence each time. Even if she didn't currently feel comfortable telling anyone, that could easily change. And if it was a snap decision, there may not be enough reaction time for us once Alice saw Bella's intentions. Yet, even though it would be safest for us to leave, something inside me ached at the thought of never seeing her again. I was intrigued by her—her mind that was silent to me only intensified those feelings. With more time, maybe I could figure out what was in Bella's head and why the contents of said head mattered to me so much.

I was about to attempt to articulate my thoughts to Carlisle when I noticed that Alice was having one of her visions. From the look on her face, it was one that came upon her all of a sudden and not when she had actively been looking. Just a quick glimpse, too quick for me to see clearly, of what was in her head was revealed to me before it was replaced with the United States constitution being translated into Morse code. She knew I fucking hated it when she pulled that shit; the beeping drove me absolutely crazy.

"Alice, what the fuck? This is serious, and you're pulling that shit?"

Her face revealed nothing, and she just looked back at me without saying a word and then turned back to Carlisle and just gave a nonchalant, "Oh, nothing…carry on."

"Edward," Carlisle said, "your thoughts?"

I had been distracted by Alice and the subsequent blocking of her vision, but I got back on track and replied to Carlisle, "I have to admit, I feel it would be safest for us to leave; I don't want to, though. If the rest of us want to stay, too, I'm willing to take the chance."

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Alice smirk and immediately my temper took a hold of me. I slammed my palm down on my table and shouted at her, "What, Alice! What the fuck did you see? Don't try to hide shit from me and then make it so fucking obvious you're doing it."

All at once, it was like anarchy in a house that rarely saw much dissension. Jasper jumped up, ready to pound me for shouting at Alice. Esme was ranting at me for putting a crack in the table while Rosalie started to spout off for who knows what fucking reason, probably just to hear herself talk, so Emmett had to deal with her but was trying to get between me and Jas before that got out of hand.

"Enough!" Carlisle shouted.

We were all so startled to hear him raise his voice, we froze like idiots in some kind of play. Literally froze: no one breathing, not a single movement, like only a family of stunned vampires could do.

"Calm down right now and sit. That's enough! If this is what is going to happen by staying here, we're leaving tonight. Damn you all for making me have to pull rank, but I will haul each and every one of you out of here to feed on penguins in Antarctica if you all don't start respecting this family right now."

We sat.

"All right now, Alice, do you have something to add?" Carlisle inquired.

"I saw—something—but I'm not ready to talk about it yet. All I can say is, I agree, we should stay."

She gave me a brief look after that, still inscrutable, and then asked if she and Jasper could be excused to go hunt. I could tell she was afraid of me breaking through her block. Carlisle let them go and then suggested we all break for a bit and meet again if anything changed; it was pretty clear we all wanted to stay in Forks.

I apologized to Esme for the table and promised to have a new one delivered as soon as possible. She kindly told me she would take care of it, that she was tired of that one anyway. There was no one more kind, or more compassionate, than my vampire mother.

Left to my own devices, I decided I preferred to be on my own right now while I worked through my list of "Bella Issues." There was a small cottage on our land set aside for my own personal use. I went there any time my siblings or parents seemed in need of privacy from my talent...or when I simply needed a break from it myself. It was far enough away that I didn't hear thoughts unless I tried but close enough that I could hear voices if they needed to call to me. The cottage was just one room in which I kept a second piano and my recording equipment along with the main part of my music collection and some books.

I felt like I needed to find a way to work through the thoughts I had about Bella. I started to play a melody that seemed to suit my feelings of wanting to sooth her while getting to know her and protecting my family all at the same time. The notes that I played started to resemble a lullaby. The way the music slowly drifted up and down in a gentle wave was the antithesis of the way Bella's feelings moved so erratically in the expressions on her face. Maybe if she just slowed down her thinking a bit, I could hear her?

Speed of thought never made a difference before as I could hear my family just fine, and they thought at vampire speed. I couldn't figure out why Bella's mind was silent, and it was proving very distracting to me. I decided the music wasn't helping any and that I would finish the lullaby another day. Thoughts of heading over to the Swan residence tempted me as I wanted another try at accessing her mind. If that didn't work, maybe I would at least hear something in her conversations with her father that would give some clue as to what she was thinking about during her day at school.

I got up from the bench and started to the door when my phone buzzed, an indication of a text message. Checking the screen revealed a short note from Alice.

**Good ****idea!****:)**

She knew I hated emoticons so made sure to use them in all her messages. I had no idea how I became attached to a sister that enjoyed annoying me as much as she did. Now, she was trying to torture me with her vision and the little sideways smiley faces. I knew there was nothing I could do to make her tell me before she was ready, so I just put my phone back in my pocket and started my run to Bella's. I would disable all the colon and parenthesis keys on her phone later.

The one vampire trait I was grateful for was the running. There was nothing I could remember as part of my human years that came close to the exhilaration I felt when I was flashing through the forest at top speed. Of course, I reflected, I was seemingly the world's only 100 year old virgin as Emmett liked to remind me, so maybe if I had done more in my human years, running wouldn't seem the thrill it was for me.

It was good to have something to be thankful for, though, since every other aspect of my vampire existence seemed to be becoming more and more depressing to me. It was lonely being the one single in a family of perfectly matched couples. It was abominable to have to rely on blood for my sustenance. And it was debilitating when I thought of all the years stretching ahead of me with no change and nothing to look forward to. I knew Esme feared I was changed too young to ever find a mate, which made being alone till the end of time my greatest fear.

As I became more and more apathetic with each passing day, I wasn't sure how long I could remain a part of the family before I became a burden to them all with my morose demeanor. Jasper especially had a hard time being around me as he felt all of my emotions as if they were his own. Of course, being me, knowing what I was becoming, only further exacerbated my decline. This...situation...with Bella; I couldn't really describe what it was making me feel. But it was something different. And, in an existence where there is never a change, something different was something to appreciate.

Keeping within the trees, I was able to get close enough to the Swan house to hear the activity inside. Truthfully, I felt like some kind of stereo-typical lame-ass vampire stalker asshole hiding in the woods out here. All I needed was for it to be a "dark and stormy night" for my pigeon hole to be complete. Still, what needs doing needs to be done, so I made myself comfortable in a tree and tried to console myself with the fact that at least I wasn't scared of garlic. I appeared to have made it in time for the dinner hour as I heard the sounds of chewing and utensils clinking on plates. I could smell the food they were eating: some type of disgusting vegetation with a lean meat.

"Great meal, Bells," her father said. "We definitely eat a lot better now that you do all the cooking around here."

"Thanks, Dad," she said. "I'm glad you liked it. I'm gonna clean up and then hang out in my room for a while. Go watch your game;I can tell you're dying to get to the couch."

"Thanks, Bella. I know I'd just be in your way if I tried to help, so I'll move along."

It seemed that Bella was a bit of a caretaker in her family. The way she talked to her father seemed more mature than how I had seen other teens interact with their families. Obviously it didn't always take being turned into a blood sucking fiend to loose a youthful state of mind. She was humming a little song as she worked, which indicated she didn't really mind the tasks she set for herself. I heard the dishwasher door slam and then a quick, "See you later, Dad!" before she went up the stairs to what I assumed was her room.

Just being a party to that short conversation had increased my curiosity about Bella. Did she really enjoy taking care of her father? Did she only do it out of a sense of obligation? Did she resent not getting to be "just a kid?" Back in my human days, women were fighting for their rights to be more than just home makers. What did it say about Bella that she seemed to be comfortable in that role?

The baseball game started up on the television, and I could hear books being opened and a pen scratching on paper as Bella started her homework. It didn't seem like I was going to learn much more that evening, so I decided to go for a quick hunt just to give me something to do. Really, it was the equivalent of a human raiding the refrigerator in a moment of boredom; luckily, I never had to worry about getting fat. I remembered a vampire acquaintance had once mused to me that female newborns were so much more out of control than males because it was the first time they had really let themselves feed as much as they wanted. Rosalie and Alice had not been impressed with his theory which prompted Alice to wonder, in turn, if extreme ignorance could be considered a vampire "gift" since a stupid vampire was such an anomaly. The vampire in question didn't seem to get the point...Anyway, Forks had recently declared a deer problem so I was doing my part to help. Just as I was about to step down from the tree I was sitting in, I heard Mr. Swan mutter to himself about forgetting to tell Bella something and then he went up the stairs to her room.

"Hey, Bella?" he said.

"Yeah, Dad? What do you need?"

"This Saturday I have to go to a place near here called La Push. It's the Quileute reservation on the coast. One of my jobs as chief is to work with their police force on things that affect both our town and the reservation. There's a beach there with tide pools, so I thought you might enjoy coming along to check it out. What do you think?"

Now this could be a problem, I thought. If she somehow got to talking with one of the Quileute about us, they might become concerned that we were a threat to the Swans. We knew that they would love any chance to enforce the treaty and force us to leave the area. They could certainly make things so awkward for us that we would have no choice but to go. If the Volturi found out that we had come under the discussion of the locals, they would be quick to remove us themselves, and that was something to be avoided at all costs.

"That sounds nice, Dad." I heard Bella say. "I'm sure it won't be a Southern California beach, but at least it's still the ocean."

"Okay, then," he said, "we'll leave around 10."

I heard him head back down the stairs and sounds indicating that Bella had resumed her homework. Listening for a bit longer yielded no further details other than learning the chief snored when he fell asleep watching the game. I needed to get back to the house to talk to Carlisle about Bella's impending visit to the reservation.

On my run back to the house, I reflected on the uneasy truce we had with the Quileute tribe. We had come across them during our last stay in Forks, around 70 years ago. Carlisle worked in the hospital then, as he did now, and when one of the tribe members became sick, he recognized Carlisle for what he was when Carlisle attempted to treat him. Thankfully, Carlisle exuded goodness and peacefulness; I think that alone is what convinced the tribe to meet with us when Carlisle begged them to not expose us. Carlisle explained each of our stories to the Quileute and emphasized that we never fed on humans, only animals. And, even with the animals, we made sure to hunt responsibly and never endanger any one species in the area. The tribal elders shared their history with the "cold ones," as they called us, and were very reluctant to believe that we could resist human blood. They had seen the frenzy that could consume a vampire when exposed to human blood. Carlisle managed to convince them, though, and our treaty was established; we wouldn't go on their land, and they agreed to keep our secret. We also had to assume responsibility for any other vampires that came to visit us.

When we came back to Forks this time, Carlisle re-established contact with the Quileutes, and let them know our numbers had increased by two, but insisted that we were still no danger. Since the treaty had never been broken before, there was no reason for them to prevent us from re-establishing our home here.

I made it back to the house and headed up to Carlisle's office. When I went in, I saw that Alice was already there and was looking bothered again.

"Edward, what did you do? The future is all messed up again!"

"Alice," I said, "I've done nothing. I went and listened to Bella and her father talk and then I came back home. I came here to talk to Carlisle about what I heard."

"Well," she said, "what did you hear? Someone must have decided something to make everything disappear."

"What did you see before?" I asked, hoping she would finally reveal it to me now that it seemed that future was no longer in place.

She just glared at me, refusing to answer.

Carlisle joined in. "Edward, as you can see, Alice is a bit flustered here. If you can please let us know what you heard, maybe that will help her."

"Other than some typical human chit-chat regarding dinner, the only other thing I heard was plans to go to the Quileute Indian reservation this Saturday. That's what I came here to talk to you about."

"The Quileute?" Alice said. "Why would they go there?"

"It's part of Chief Swan's job," I replied.

"It's different this time," Alice said "Before, futures were shifting so fast it was just a blur. I couldn't tell what I was seeing, but I was seeing. Now, it's like there is no future. What time did you hear Bella agree to go with her father?"

I let her know it was 7:02pm. Another ability we all had was perfect time keeping in our heads.

"Yes!" Alice exclaimed. "That is the exact time the future went black. Something about them going to the Quileute reservation is blocking me from seeing further than that. My vision from before was more in the future than this Saturday, so that must be why it is black now."

Carlisle was clearly very interested in this latest development. Not only from the standpoint of how the missing vision affected our family, but also as a new aspect of Alice's talent. I was not the only one that thirsted for new things to learn.

"I wonder," Carlisle said. "Is it possible that Alice can not see a future that involves shape-shifters? Maybe the tribe has members that have started to phase."

I pondered what Carlisle had said. "Why would they, though? I thought that only happened if there was a threat."

"To them, there is a threat—us," said Carlisle."

"We've been here almost two years now. Why wouldn't they have started phasing sooner?" I wondered.

"Only certain members of the pack can phase; they have to have the gene. They have to be old enough as well. I suspect all three conditions must be present: threat, age and gene." came Carlisle's theory.

"Either way," continued Carlisle, "if they are starting to phase, they are not going to be interested in telling us since it does actually give them the ability to fight us if they feel it becomes necessary. Since we have no intention of breaking the treaty, it would not typically affect us other than for this recent development with the Swan girl. So we need to decide: do we stay or do we leave now that the future is blocked to Alice?"

Alice finally decided to speak up again. "Okay, here's the thing. Briefly, and I mean very briefly, I saw a vision of our family that included Bella. There was no telling where or when, but she was one of us, and she was happy. We all were happy—even Edward."

Carlisle and I just looked at her, surprise all over our faces. It was no small thing what she was saying. Really, the only circumstance that would lead to Bella joining our family was if she and I somehow became a mated pair. I wasn't sure what to feel about that. It would be nice to not be alone any longer, but the thought of being responsible for the loss of Bella's humanity caused a moment of true pain for me.

"Look, I didn't want to say anything at first because I knew Edward would freak and go off and do something half-cocked and fuck it all up. Now, though, things are just getting so crazy. So there it is; that's what I saw. Honestly, for once, I have no idea what to do with that information."

Alice kind of slumped down into her chair after that. She looked frustrated and depressed, and I wished there was something I could do to help her. I don't know how she got the impression that I was such a drama queen but, out of all my siblings, she was the one I was closest to. Our unique gifts drew us together, and the bond between us was very strong. Still, she wasn't my mate. She and Jasper had a love that would clearly sustain them for eternity. Alice wanted that for me; she wanted it for me so much.

Living in this home with three perfectly matched couples, I did feel lonely from time to time. But I didn't truly know what I was missing, since I'd never felt the bond of vampire mating. Seeing the thoughts of my family didn't come close to letting me actually experience what the bond felt like. I would need Jasper's gift of reading emotions for that.

Sometimes I thought I was better off on my own. From what I could see, and what my siblings had described, along with that love went a feeling of possession of the other that was overwhelming at times. It was self-preservation really; apparently, there was only one mate for each vampire. If that mate was lost, the survivor was doomed to an eternity of suffering. Vampires could and did experience lighter relationships; casual sex was simple when you didn't have to worry about pregnancy or disease. But once that mating bond was upon you, that was it; you would never be able to be with any other vampire again, casual or not.

I had tried to simply let go and fuck some of the many beautiful females I had come across in my time. Unfortunately, none of them inspired the necessary physical reaction in me. It was an extreme source of embarrassment, and while I felt bad for having a reputation in the vampire community for being a snob about women, it was much better than being known as the vampire eunuch.

Now, knowing that there was an actual potential mate for me, I wondered; would I ever be able to be a true man for her? How would we even bond together without the physical aspect? Vampire sex was extreme: rough, loud and long. I didn't even know if it was possible for me to have sex with a human female. Maybe we would have to wait till she was turned. But considering that part of the puzzle, why would she even want to be turned? Who the hell would choose to live like this? Given her particular experience with us, it seemed even more unlikely. Still, for that brief time, Alice had seen it. There had to be something there.

Carlisle and Alice had been sitting quietly while I had been thinking of what Alice's vision meant for me. I looked up at them, at a loss for what our best way forward should be.

"Carlisle, I don't know what to think here. She's human, and she hates us; turning her…bonding with her…it would be an abomination. But if she's it for me, if she is my one and only chance at a mate, wouldn't that mean I am that for her? Or is that only if she is turned? Will she find love with someone else if she stays human? Could I end up mating with someone else if I don't allow the bond to form with her?"

I asked the questions of my father, not really expecting answers, just thinking aloud.

"Edward, I truly do not know. Vampire mating is not an exact science. No one has been able to explain why we have the ability to live for so long yet only bond once. The Volturi have studied it for centuries."

"I wish I could see more for you, Edward," Alice joined in, "I was so happy for you when I saw that vision, I could barely contain it. If only I had showed you, if only you had seen the pure joy on your face, and Bella's, too. Do you want to see it? I wasn't sure if you'd want to now that we don't know if it will happen."

Did I want to see Bella and I together, both inhuman, yet happy? I would never be able to forget it once seen; our memories were perfect, the vision would be with me forever. If we never ended up together, having that in my brain might make my future existence that much more unbearable.

"No, Alice. I think I will pass for now. Keep it for me; maybe another day."

I looked out the window; it was completely dark now. Bella would either be asleep or heading that way shortly. Alice was right; I could already feel the draw to her. At that moment, all I wanted to do was head back to the Swan residence and see what she was doing.

"Edward, tell me now—if I see anything else involving you and her, do you want me to show you or block it?"

For Alice to ask me this was a surprise. Normally, she considered it her right to do what she felt was best with her visions. She would either share them or keep them as she saw fit. For her to ask my opinion, well, it just further emphasized how deep in unchartered territory we all felt now.

"As long as we are all safe, you keep it, Alice. Block it from me so that I am not influenced. I want my reactions and deeds to be based on instinct, not prescience. Thank you; thank you both for helping, and for agreeing to stay even though it could be dangerous. You'll tell the others? I think I've had enough of talking about myself for tonight; I'd like to be alone for a bit now."

"Yes, Edward," Carlisle said, "Alice and I will share our conversation here with the rest of the family. You go; you've got a lot of thinking to do."

I gave my father and sister each a quick embrace before heading out of the room and the house itself. Of their own accord, my feet took me on a run toward Bella's. Each stride closer to her home, I could feel the anticipation of being back next to her grow. All of a sudden, it was like I had to be with her. This girl, who hated my very existence, who I didn't even really know all that well, had become the center of my world. There was no point in fighting it; I had mated to a human.


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: I must apologize again for the long time between updates. I am hoping to move to updating every two weeks going forward.**

**So far, I have yet to make assume Stephanie Meyer's identity so these guys, and her millions, still all belong to her. Thanks much to Branchirps and Saritadreaming for whipping this all into shape; any errors left are solely my own. Enjoy!**

**Bella POV:**

Thankfully, the rest of the day passed without incident. Since no one slaughtered me in the parking lot, I still had to make dinner; I headed to the local grocery store to get food and then pointed the truck to home. Keeping busy seemed to be the only way I could get my mind off the fuckery that my life had become. I cooked up some chicken and veggies as part of my constant effort to keep my dad's waist line at a healthy size. He ate absolute garbage while at work, a stereotypical cop's diet of coffee and donuts.

As usual, we didn't talk much during dinner other than a couple words about the food. He knew I would have no interest in rehashing the previous several hours since, even under normal circumstances, the first day at a new school was something to be forgotten as soon as possible.

After dinner, I went up to my room to start homework. While I was working, my dad poked his head in and asked if I wanted to go with him to the Quileute reservation on Saturday. I'm sure going to the beach with my dad on a Saturday would make me the coolest kid on the planet, but I agreed anyway so I could check out the beach. I'm sure it wouldn't compare to the beautiful places I left behind, but I would accept the loss of sunny, sandy beaches as part of my penance for the ridiculous stunt I pulled that got my dad fired.

Since my concentration was wrecked now anyway, I decided to take a break from my homework and find out more about the Quileute reservation. Googling "Quileute" brought up some links that looked promising. Pictures of the beach showed it was actually very beautiful with daunting cliffs along the crescent shaped coast. There wasn't a lot of information dedicated to tourists, which made me hope that the land was untarnished by the need to bring in travelers' dollars. There was a bit on the history of the Quileute, showing them to be intensely spiritual and believing in a type of temporal bond with wolves. My curiosity was peaked and, oddly enough, I looked forward to the visit on Saturday.

Reluctantly going back to my homework, I diligently plowed through what remained, trying to be organized for once. Regardless, I knew within a couple of weeks everything would end up a mess no matter how hard I tried. Finally, I could avoid it no longer; my eyes would barely stay open, and I needed to sleep. No longer did I bother hoping for this night to be _the_ night that I did not have the nightmare. It came every night. The only saving grace was that I had eventually, over the years, learned to control my screams so my father was no longer awakened by the noise.

The dream was always the same: chasing after my mother before me, pursued by the monster behind me. Always caught just as my fingers came close to touching her soft skin once again. I was dragged, yelling and screaming, to where, I never knew, as I always woke up before finding out.

Some would think being taken by the monster would be the worst part of the dream. By far, it was really the crushing disappointment of being so close to her, but never actually getting to feel her arms around me again. There was nothing on this earth I wanted more than to have one last moment with my mother. I missed her so much; it was like being stabbed through my heart each time I thought of her, creating a larger hole in my chest. She had been my best friend; had loved me, taught me, comforted me and simply enjoyed being with me more than anyone else. She always had time for my questions and games and was right there with me letting me experience things for myself while keeping me safe. I didn't know what my life would have been like if my mother had never been killed, but I knew what was taken from me was something infinitely precious that could never be duplicated. It only seemed to get worse as I got older.

Tonight was no different, and I woke from the dream screaming and crying into my pillow to muffle the sound. _Please, someone, anyone, if you're listening…take me, take me so that I can be back with her! There's nothing for me here; I just don't belong._

Every night my prayer…lament…was the same; as always, it went unanswered. No, I was not suicidal, but that did not mean I didn't long for the end of my life, to be reunited with the one who knew me best.

Since my first day at Forks High had been on a Wednesday, the rest of the week was nice and short. FHS was remarkably free of bitchy chic-cliques; for that I was supremely grateful. I treated the other kids as if they were snakes; I left them alone hoping they would leave me alone, and it worked. Still, there was always that moment of regret that I couldn't turn things around for myself—this time—and make a friend.

The only time I had to interact with one of the Cullens was during Biology. My time sitting next to Edward was easily the hardest part of the day; I didn't know whether to be thankful or pissed, that I had something to dread more than gym class. Thursday, he didn't talk or look at me. It wasn't the same as being ignored, though; it seemed deliberate, not due to disinterest. Friday was the same until just before class ended. A determined look came over his face and then…

"Bella?" he asked in that voice that made me want to crawl out of my skin…or share it with him.

"Yes, Edward." _Please don't eat me, please don't eat me…uhm, well…please don't hurt me, please don't hurt me._

"I do not mean to pry, but you don't by any chance happen to have six fingers on your right hand?"

I couldn't help it; I burst out laughing. It was so unexpected and out of character for him. The Princess Bride had long been one of my favorite movies, not exactly something I had expected to have in common with one of the undead. Everyone was staring, but for once, I didn't care. I managed to choke out the next line in between chuckles.

"Do you always begin conversations this way?"

He gave me a wink before gathering up his books and darting out the door in that creepy, graceful way he had.

I had to admit, for a vicious, blood sucking monster, this particular vampire did not seem all that bad. Of course, the fact that he seemed to have no interest in harming me helped a lot. I wasn't quite sure what to do with those other feelings that seemed to creep up on me when he was near. Take away the scary, and all that was left was a male more attractive than any I had ever seen. The sensations tingling my body, the thoughts appearing in my head, were all new to me. The fact that I was experiencing them due to him was really fucking with my head. Fear…loathing, that was all I ever expected to feel toward a vampire. Lust? Not so much.

Saturday finally arrived, and I actually woke up feeling a sort of cautious, pleasant anticipation for the trip to La Push. It was so rare that I approached anything with enthusiasm; I took a moment to enjoy the feeling.

The fifteen minute drive to the reservation was quiet and uneventful as neither my dad nor I felt the need to spend time on idle chit chat. We pulled up to what looked like a good-sized community center: a long wooden building with a huge corkboard on the front covered in fliers and business cards. It had wide double doors with both a handicap ramp and stairs for access. As we got out of the car and approached the building, the doors opened to reveal a man in a wheel chair coming out to greet us.

"Hello, I'm William Black, chief of the Quileute Nation. You must be Chief Swan?"

"Yes, sir," my dad said. "And this is my daughter Bella. She came to spend some time at the beach while we talk, if that's okay?"

"Bella is certainly welcome to explore our beach. It's a great time of day for it. I'll get my son, Jacob, to show her around," Chief Black replied.

Now I felt bad; I didn't want anyone to have to babysit me while I was here. Before I could say anything, though, he cupped his hands around his mouth and shouted out for his son.

"Jacob, come on over here! There's a girl here for you!" He winked at me, and all I could do was blush and sigh inwardly. I was hardly any guy's idea of a fun surprise.

The front door of the community center slammed open, and this huge guy loped out. He had to be at least 6' 5" and was built like Arnie back in his Terminator days. The only clothing covering his body was a pair of beat up sweat shorts that really didn't leave anything to the imagination. _Yeah, a guy like this was not going to want to waste anytime on a plain Jane like me…_

He gave me a quick once over and appeared confused as he addressed his father. "Hey," he said, "What'cha need, dad?"

"Jake, this is Chief Swan from Forks and his daughter Bella. I have some business to go over with the Chief. Can you take Bella over to First Beach?"

"Sure, sure. Hello, Chief Swan," Jake said, extending his hand.

My dad shook Jake's hand; it was weird seeing his hand swallowed by Jake's. The boy had some serious size on him.

Jake then turned his huge hand to me. "I think you'll like the beach," he said. "The tide is going out right now, so the pools will be really full."

Looking at his hand, I couldn't help but think about the old adage linking penis size to how big a guy's hands or feet were. Not really caring on a personal level, my interest was purely intellectual. A quick glance down revealed feet that, to my untrained eye, seemed much larger than average. Since he was in those clingy shorts, it wasn't too hard to sneak a peak as my eyes travelled back up his legs. _Crap, the fabric's draped wrong; I can't tell_. Unfortunately, I neglected to remember that we don't stare at men's crotches in our society, and it wasn't too long before I noticed an uncomfortable silence around me. I looked up to see my Dad, Billy and Jake all kind of watching me with funny looks on their faces. I immediately blushed again and started to fidget nervously. My odd sense of curiosity was always getting me into trouble.

"Sorry...I uh..I got distracted thinking about tide pools. Sounds great! When can we go?"

Jake gave a kind of funny chuckle and let me know we could leave now. He must be used to girls ogling him. I said a quick goodbye to my Dad and then followed Jake as he headed towards the back of the parking lot to the woods.

"There's a short path we can take to the beach from here," he said.

"Uhm, is there a way we can go without cutting through the woods?" I asked.

I hadn't been in the woods since…_that day_…and I wasn't going to start now with some stranger twice my size.

"I guess so...it will take a lot longer, though," he commented. "We'll have to walk on the road for about a mile. Why don't you want to go through the woods? Tourists usually love to hike our trails."

"It's a phobia of mine," I replied in a curt tone to discourage other questions. "I don't like to talk about it, but the last time I was in the woods, something really fucking horrible happened."

He looked surprised at my language but seemed to take it in stride.

"Sure, sure," he said. "The road is nice, too. Not much traffic, and you'll get to see some flower gardens we have planted."

I was lucky that Jake was so easygoing. Some people were much harder to dissuade from a topic of conversation. A certain Biology partner came to mind...

The walk to the beach was nice, and Jake kept up a running commentary as we went. It seemed he'd played tour guide before. He offered a short history of the Quileute people and fit in the stories with the land around us. I especially enjoyed hearing more about the connection with wolves; seemed a lot more impressive than the monkeys the rest of us were linked to.

We arrived at the beach, and I had to admit there was a unique beauty here; it was very different from the beaches back home. The cliffs were amazing, the rock faces sheer and daunting. Churning waves below were enough to challenge any So Cal surfer.

Jake and I walked on the sand for a bit before sitting on a piece of driftwood that lay in our path. The log must have fallen long ago; it was weathered to a soft, silvery patina. Normally, I would have been incredibly nervous sitting next to a strange guy this way. Something about Jake, though, put me at ease, and I was quite comfortable sharing the seat and beach with him.

Making conversation seemed like the normal next step, but I wasn't sure what to say. I certainly didn't have much experience talking to buff guys like Jacob. _Maybe cars? I really like cars...he's a guy...maybe he likes cars, too…_My frantic musings were interrupted when Jake ended up speaking first.

"How long did it take to get here in the cruiser?" Jake asked. "That thing must fly with that police super charger package Ford uses."

_Bingo._

"I wouldn't know," I replied, "too many people slowing down to a crawl when they see the lights. My truck doesn't do more than sixty, and I still probably could have gotten here faster in it."

"You have a truck? That's cool. I just sold one I rebuilt. It came out okay, but I couldn't make that one go over 60 either...couldn't afford the right parts."

"Yep," I replied, "a '57 Chevy, already orange—which is nice so the rust doesn't show. Whoever fixed it up did a great job. I might try a different air intake to get the speed up a bit. I'd have to save up for it, though."

"You work on cars? That's awesome! Wait a second...an orange '57 Chevy? That's what I just sold! Did you buy it around here? Can't be mine, though, I sold it to the Phillip's kid..."

"Holy shit! That's the one! His parents sold it out from under him before he even got it registered. He flunked some big test or something. Seemed like a real crappy thing to do, but they sold it super cheap, so I wasn't complaining." I know I was probably over reacting to the funny coincidence; it was just so rare that I had anything in common with, well, anyone.

"Yeah, I gave him a really good deal. I wanted to get rid of it so I could start my next rebuild. I found a Volkswagen Rabbit in great shape at the local tow yard. It's gonna fly when I'm done with it!"

"Nice. Are you rebuilding the tranny? Please tell me it's a stick."

Who would've thought? I was holding my own in a conversation with a guy I would have considered way out of my league. He was so easy to talk to; I felt myself starting to relax next to him.

"So, you're going to Fork's high?" he ended up asking me after we had exhausted car talk.

"Yeah, seems like an okay school, you know, other than all the damn vampires." I said, jokingly, figuring he wouldn't have a clue what I meant and write it off as a joke.

He didn't reply, and when I turned to look at him, he was staring back at me with an incredulous look on his face. I didn't understand what was bothering him; he couldn't possibly think I was serious about that…could he?

"Is something wrong, Jake?" I asked.

"Why do you say there are vampires at your school? Are the kids that bad?" he replied.

There was something off about his tone of voice, like he was trying to associate a normal meaning to what I said, while not really believing it himself. His speech was stilted, not relaxed like before. I felt my pulse race a little bit at the thought of someone else knowing what really dwelled in this small part of the world. Still, I wasn't quite ready to come out of the "I believe in vampires" closet yet either.

"It's kind of from a movie," I replied. "The Lost Boys; did you ever see it?"

"Oh, ah, no, can't say that I have. Didn't that come out in the '80's or something?"

"Yeah, '87. I'm kinda into vampire movies."

I could admit that much; I just left out the part where I obsessively watched every one I could find trying to learn more about vampires, even though I knew the chances of Hollywood getting such information correct was slim to none.

"Really? Why would you find those blood suckers interesting?" he huffed. He actually sounded angry.

A bug was starting to turn in my brain; I couldn't quite get my finger on it yet, but there was something there. I chose my words carefully, frantically trying to think of what I could say that would hint at the origins of my obsession without actually giving anything away. For the moment, I chose to ignore the tone of his voice and just respond to the question.

"That fear? Of the woods? It's from something that happened when I was a kid. Like I said, I don't like to talk about it, but I've had this…obsession…with vampires since then. I think my kid brain made the association and it stuck."

"What happened?" he asked, obviously missing the part where I said I didn't like to talk about it. I guess I couldn't blame him too much since I brought it up.

"I'm sorry, I just have a lot of trouble discussing it. Not sure why I even got into it with a perfect stranger. You must think I'm a head case."

"No, no," he said. "I guess, you just sounded so serious at first, almost like you really thought there were vampires at your school."

He didn't sound mad anymore, more like he was ready to be done talking about this. Still, I decided to mention one more thing, in case he really did know what was going on.

"It's funny, now that I think about it, there's a family at the school who totally fit the vampire stereotype. They're all weirdly good looking and pale. If Buffy went to my school, they would definitely be the ones she went after first."

No response, just back to staring at me.

"You know, Buffy the Vampire Slayer?" I asked.

"Yeah, sorry, I've heard of it. Look, I have to go now. Can you find your way back? I forgot I'm supposed to be meeting up with some people about tribal stuff."

Guess I went too far with that one. I couldn't tell if he simply thought I was a freak now or if it was something to do with the Cullens. It seemed the wise thing to do would be to give it up for now. In the words of The Terminator: I'd be back. _Maybe I watch too many movies?_

We got up off of the log and began to brush ourselves off. I was twisting and hopping on one foot trying to reach a piece of seaweed on the back of my pants. Of course, I promptly started to fall over. Jake was still next to me, and I instinctively reached out and grabbed onto his arm to stop from hitting the sand. How embarrassing! But, wow, he was really warm...

"Having fun, Jake?" I heard a very pissed off female voice say.

Oh, great—of course a guy like this has a girlfriend, and she's not happy at the site of some chic hanging all over her man, accident or no accident. I turned and saw a beautiful Quileute girl coming out of the forest. She was super-model tall and had a punkish, short haircut. She didn't seem to have any more interest in clothes than I did since she was dressed in a dirty tank top and shorts. I'd bet money she could kick my ass with no problem, and I was a bit intimidated to have her glaring at me so fiercely.

"Calm down, Leah," he said. "Bella here just got a bit tangled getting up off the log. Bella, this is my girlfriend, Leah; Leah, this is Chief Swan's daughter, Bella. Chief Swan is talking with my dad today, and Bella wanted to see the beach."

"Great, Jake. I've been running for three fucking hours straight now with Sam and Seth while you've been here playing tour guide? You know I can't stand to run with them on my own!"

"Leah, give me a fucking break. Go back to Sam and Seth, and I'll be there in a minute."

I didn't want to be in the middle of this fight. It was actually weird to hear Jake swear since he'd been so polite the whole time we were talking, even when my own gutter mouth had made an appearance. I had no idea what type of running they were talking about, but it sounded like I'd overstayed my welcome.

"Jake, it's fine. I really can find my own way back to the center. Go with Leah."

Leah gave me a dirty look. Obviously, she didn't appreciate my peace keeping efforts.

"Fine, Jake," she said. "You owe me, though."

"All right, Leah. Look, I'll see you later. Just, for once, try to keep the peace with Sam?"

All I heard from her was a snort in response before she stalked off.

"Sorry about that," he apologized. "Things have been a bit tough on her lately."

"Don't worry about it, Jake. I had a good time. Maybe I'll see you around."

"Yeah, see ya." He didn't sound delighted at the prospect of spending more time with me. Typical.

He turned and headed off for the woods in the same direction Leah had gone. I stared after him for a moment then headed back to the rec center to meet up with my dad.

The inevitable rain started up again on our way home, and I felt a serious afternoon nap coming on, followed by a long night's sleep. The events of the day had drained me, and I needed to shut down for a while to process it all.

**A/N: So, if you've already read the old chapter 5, you may remember that it was very different from this one. I thought the old version was clunky and not flowing well, hence all the changes. I hope they meet with your approval!**

**If you can, head over to the Fandom For Texas Wildfire Relief site and make a donation. A donation of as little as $5 will get you a compilation of stories from over 140 authors: http: /texasfires. ysar. info. I plan to submit a story myself - a fun one shot exploring some late night office hijinks between E & B. **

**Another worthy cause; Fandom's own Mostly a Lurker has a need of a companion dog. She has been paired with an animal and now just needs help gathering the funds to bring him home. Again, $5 gets you a compilation of stories from some great authors. I am eagerly awaiting my own. http :/mostlyalurker. blogspot. com/**

**Finally, there's a little link right below here that you can click on and it will allow you to let me know exactly what you think of this effort of mine at entertaining you. I hope you'll review! Thanks in advance.**


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Wow - almost forgot the Author's note! Thanks again to Bran and Sarita for whipping this into shape. I know it's a bit shorter than the others, but I think it ended at a good spot. Hopefully, I can keep doing updates quicker than I was.**

Jake POV:

I watched Bella walk away and felt bad about how our time together had ended. She was a bit shy, but she knew her shit when it came to cars. While I could talk about cars for hours non-stop, I had never met a girl that was the same way. It sucked that Leah had to go all possessive of me in front of Bella. We're imprinted on each other for fuck's sake; surely she didn't think she had anything to worry about? I couldn't help but wish she had a bit of Bella's less aggressive nature.

The really crazy thing was, I could have sworn Bella was serious when she talked about vampires at her school. She didn't fool me trying to laugh it off; something was happening, and the Cullens were involved. I was going to need to speak to Sam and the others about this.

Running into the woods, I whipped my clothes off and quickly tied them to my leg with a piece of leather in preparation for the change. Becoming wolf was like second nature to me now and only took a small amount of concentration before my body started to shimmer and shake. In the next instant, I was a horse-sized, russet colored wolf. Immediately I was ready to run or strike—whichever was needed. It was always the same; no matter how calm I was at the time I phased, that first moment as wolf was akin to the height of an adrenaline rush.

The change was smooth and fast now that I knew to let the shift flow through my body instead of fighting it. I still remembered the first time, the feeling of being turned inside out and lit on fire. It seemed selfish to think it, but I was lucky that Sam had been the first of the pack to phase. It was horrible for him, not knowing what the fuck was going on.

Thankfully, Sam had gotten to me before I changed to let me know what was going to happen. He could tell my first phase was coming soon when suddenly I grew around five inches in a matter of weeks. He told me the whole shebang about spirit warriors and shape shifters and vampires. I thought he was on drugs at first, but I couldn't deny the fever or the growth spurt. Of course, when he turned into a gigantic fucking wolf right in front of me, I knew he was for real.

As soon as I phased, I was able to hear the thoughts of the pack members who were in wolf form. Looked like it was still just Seth, Sam and Leah. Sam was the alpha since he had been the first to shift. Supposedly, I could take over any time since my lineage was more directly connected to the previous generation of wolves. I didn't want any part of that, though. It was bad enough this whole werewolf business was taking over my life; I didn't need to be in charge on top of it. Plus, being the pack leader meant Sam was actually the real leader of the tribe. We just called my Dad the chief to those who weren't in the know. Really, my Dad and Sam led together since Sam was still young. There was no way I was up to leading the pack and the tribe.

Got that right, Jacob! I heard Sam say in my head. So annoying! It was the worst part of this whole wolf thing, having all of my thoughts up for grabs to the others. Privacy was a thing of the past.

Replaying the conversation with Bella in my head for the others, I ran out to where they waited for me. Sam agreed that we needed to meet and immediately started calling the rest of the pack by letting out the "get over here" howl he liked to use. Yeah, I just loved being a "pack" animal. Once everyone was in wolf form, Sam ordered us all to the usual spot in the woods.

Back when Sam had first phased, he'd run all over this place by himself for hours on end trying to get used to being wolf. On one of Sam's journeys, he'd come across an old cleared section of ground that had obviously been used for tribe gatherings in the past. It was a perfect circle cut out of the thick woods surrounding the spot. There was a fire pit in the middle, still without grass from all the fires lit in past meetings. It was far enough away from the rest of the reservation and any other civilization, that we could meet without being heard.

Now that the whole pack had phased, my head was filled with thoughts from all of them. That was cool, though; I concentrated on theirs to keep mine quiet. They hated when I did that since it created a weird echo. I didn't care; anything for a little privacy.

That's you, Jake! Always thinking of others.

Fuckers.

All right everyone, cool it, and phase to human so we can talk without all the inner monologues.

Yes! I straightened back up into human form so fast I swear lightning came out of my ass. I wasn't too happy with my imprint right now, and the last thing she or I needed was the whole pack knowing about it. When I was on patrol, I could keep my thoughts hidden by running songs through my mind. Or, if I was pissed at my patrol buddies, I did commercials. They liked it best when I did Seinfeld episodes. I'd watched them so many times I knew a bunch by heart. It was only a matter of time before we decided to see who could be Master of His Domain! Someday, I hoped to stay human long enough to get out to New York City...had to get rid of the blood suckers first.

"Okay," Sam started, "some of us just phased, so I'll bring you all up to date. Jake had a conversation with the new girl living in Forks: Bella. Her father is Chief Swan, who we all know is a friend of the tribe. Bella was here on a visit with her father and mentioned the vampires in her school to Jake. She said she was only joking, but Jake thinks there's a chance she knows. This makes her a danger to the Cullens which means we have to be on the lookout for a treaty violation. We're going to start including the Swan house in our patrols so we know the instant a leach starts to take an interest in her."

"Great, Sam," Leah said, "how are we going to manage that while keeping the reservation safe, too? We gotta go all the way into town to get to the Swan's."

"Can it, Leah," Sam replied. "We're going to have to run double shifts."

The look on Leah's face would have put the fear of God into most anyone. "Too bad you weren't this much of an asshole when we were dating, Sam, could have saved us both a whole bunch of grief. My shift is done; I'm going to bed. You're fucked in the head if you think I'm starting a double on no sleep."

I watched Leah stalk off towards her house. She didn't even look back at me. Some imprint...Paul, Sam and Quil's mates looked at them like they hung the moon. Mine acted like I was a piece of shit. Apparently, the whole imprint thing got fucked up when two wolves imprinted on each other instead of one imprinting on a full human. We felt the bond, we felt the attraction, we felt a need to be near each other, but...it just wasn't the same as what the rest of the guys got. I couldn't describe it...it's like we could feel that it was forced on us instead of being our choice. There was no real love. None of the others felt that way, even Quil, and he had imprinted on a toddler!

The rest of the guys kind of stood around looking at their dirty feet or the fucking trees, anything but me.

"Jake, do you and Leah need a little while later on? I can keep everyone human for around a half hour before you and Leah are up to run again."

"Yeah, Sam, that'd be great...I guess."

"That bad, Jake?"

"Yep, that bad..."

"All right, Jake. Why don't you go get some rest, too, then. I'll talk to you later after you and Leah...well, you know..."

"Sure, sure."

I jogged off towards home. The whole imprint thing just fucking sucked already. First, Sam and Leah were a couple. Then, Sam turns wolf. He can't tell Leah, so they are constantly fighting about why he's all of a sudden never around and spending crazy amounts of time with the tribal elders. Leah's cousin, Emily, comes for a visit and—BAM—Sam imprints on Emily. He didn't even know what the fuck imprinting was. One second he's in love with Leah and the next, it's as if Leah never existed and Emily is his whole world. The tribal elders find out and are all of a sudden like, "Oh yeah, sorry we didn't tell you, but werewolves find mates by something called imprinting, and it happens when you see the person who is meant to be your mate." Thanks for the warning! _Asswipes_. Of course the worst was when Emily was still trying to talk Sam into going back to Leah before they knew about imprinting. In an instant of anger, he lost control and turned wolf too close to Emily. It was awful, his claws had moved through her flesh before he had even fully phased. We've all seen the memory in his mind over and over. Now, she was scarred practically from head to toe, on top of losing her best friend, Leah. But that was imprinting. All the awfulness Sam and Emily had been through, yet when you looked at the two of them, it was like nothing bad had ever happened. They were so fucking happy.

Enter...Jake...new wolf and pissed off as hell about it, too. Was quite happy being human, thank you very much. I'm just going about my business, learning the ropes, planning to get the fuck away from La Push as soon as possible and leave all this werewolf and vampire shit behind, when...low and behold...Leah joins the pack. What a cluster fuck that was! First female wolf and all that. And her thoughts! She was just one pissed off spurned chick who now had claws of her own and a linked mind with her ex. You can't make this shit up! I'd seen her around plenty since I had first phased. No hint of an imprint then. But the first time I laid eyes on her after she phased..BAM...we both imprint on each other. It was like chains had wrapped around us both, binding us together, too tight for either of us to ever get free.

The worst...or best...was the sex. Or...mating? I still didn't know what the fuck to call it. Neither of us was willing to do it as humans. But we felt the need _all the time_. So, we did it as wolves. Fucked up! It was like we were trying to kill each other but screw at the same time. Not to mention the embarrassment of having to schedule it with Sam, so he could keep everyone else human, preventing them from getting a ringside seat in their heads for the whole thing. Of course, with all the vamps around, we couldn't go for very long without patrolling; as soon as we were done, some of the others always needed to phase, and since Leah and I couldn't always exactly wipe our minds clean of what had just occurred right away...well, that meant the rest of the pack just got the YouTube version anyway. _That's_ what I had to look forward to tonight.

Shit, all this thinking was making me tired. I missed the good old days when the most complicated thing I had to worry about was finding parts for my project cars.

I trudged into the house and flopped onto the couch. Next thing I know, its four hours later, and Leah's not-so-gently kicking me awake. Good thing I'm a lot more fucking sturdy now that I'm a werewolf.

"What the fuck, Leah? Couldn't you be a bit gentler?"

"Don't be such a baby. Sam told me we've got another one of our "happy halves" tonight. We gonna do this thing or what? I wanna get this over with so I can stop walking around like I've got itching power in my pants."

That's Leah, such a lady. Oh, well, at least I never had to worry about my swearing pissing her off. I used to be so nice...now I was just bitter and mean. Just like Leah. Yeah, being a werewolf was great.

We ran out of the house together and down to one of the beaches that was inaccessible to tourists. At this time of night it was officially closed, allowing us to do our thing without unexpected company. Sam had let the elders know we needed a spot we could use without worrying about people coming across us.

This beach used to be one of my favorite places. I'd come in the evening and watch the sun set over the water while the waves turned silvery, breaking on the cliffs in the moonlight. Now that the only time I came here was to be with Leah, it wasn't the same. I felt like a fucking pansy thinking it, but my innocence had been lost here. It wasn't the sex; it was the loss of what my life would have been had I never turned wolf. Somehow, the mating here with Leah seemed to put the final nail in that particular coffin.

I gave myself a quick shake to get my head back in the game and focus on the here and now. We had a routine down; I would look out at the water while Leah stripped and phased. Then it was my turn. Yep, we still hadn't seen each other naked. Once we were phased, it was like...fur flying, jaws chomping, claws grabbing...just a rolling mass of two wolves turning over and around each other, getting out every single aggression they had.

I got my front legs wrapped around her and clamped my mouth down on one of her ears. She twisted and used her hind legs to kick me away. Then she swiped at my face with one of her front paws and left a long scratch along my face. That shit hurt! I let out a deep snarl and then grabbed one of her back legs in my teeth and started dragging her around the beach. She whipped around, biting down on one of my front legs, forcing me to let go of hers. But now she was upside down beneath me, and I was on top of her. I could smell her arousal and instinctively started to tongue between her hind legs. Her jaws let loose, and she started panting from the pleasure. We always had to get a certain amount of fighting out of the way before we could get down to the nitty gritty. I usually caved first. Sometimes I thought Leah liked the fighting more than the mating.

Once I knew she was ready, I grabbed her again in my front legs and flipped her over and then rammed myself into her as hard and deep as possible. There was no being gentle with us. We were wolves, not humans. It was rough, and neither of us wanted it any other way. I grabbed onto her neck with my teeth as I continued to jam myself into her over and over. I had no idea what sex as a human felt like, but I had to admit, this was fucking awesome! She was hot and wet inside; it was like putting myself into a liquid fire that didn't burn. I could feel pressure mounting and growing; I wasn't going to last much longer. We were both snarling and growling as our climaxes came closer and closer. It always hit us at exactly the same time. We had no idea if that was normal for wolves or it was the imprint or what, but right at the exact same fucking time, every time, it was like we had both been shocked on every nerve ending of our bodies. But the shock felt good—like heat and pressure relief and incredible sensation all in one. It was fucking intense. And with the whole mind meld thing? It was as if everything was doubled.

I pulled myself away from her and collapsed on the beach like an old ratty wolf pelt. Leah could never relax afterwards; she always phased back to human right away and ran into the water. I knew better than to sneak a peek. She'd told me once that she had to rinse off immediately because what we did made her feel dirty. It killed her how much she loved the sex…and how much she needed it. The loss of control, choice, anything, really, and yet enjoyment to an extreme greater than she'd ever felt before. Even though the whole imprint thing was forced on me every bit as much as it was on her, I still felt like she blamed me, and that sucked. Still, I was glad for the honesty. We had enough going against us; adding lies into the mix would have been too much.

I got up and loped over to my clothes before phasing back to human. A quick check of my phone confirmed we had a few minutes left before patrol. I decided to follow Leah's lead and take a quick dip in the water, too. At least it was Seth with us tonight. He was Leah's younger brother and a super cool kid. Too young for this shit, but then we all were. He definitely helped to calm us both down, especially on one of our mating nights. He would simply think random thoughts about this and that, and Leah and I could talk to him and ignore each other. It was good.

**A/N: **If you liked this chapter - or are into the wolves in general - be on the look out for the Phases of Life contest. Here's a link to the deets: .net/u/2455894/ I'll have an entry - see if you can pick it out!****

****Reviews are always appreciated and replied to - but I thank everyone who had made it this far ;-)****


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: My sincere apologies again for the delay in posting. The good news is, Chapter 8 is already almost complete! Many thanks to katsflowergirls for pre-reading and saritadreaming for Beta work.**

**~Edward~**

This day, January 22, 2005, will go down in my history as one of the longest days of my existence. On this day my mate, Isabella Swan, visited the Quileute reservation, the one place she could go where I could not follow, and where I had reason to be the most afraid for her safety. "Here There be Wolves" is what a map would show if a map existed to mark the location of supernatural beings in the state of Washington.

As expected, the moment Chief Swan's cruiser crossed onto Quileute land, Bella dropped from Alice's visions no different than if she'd been shot with an arrow through the heart. It was bad enough Bella was already extremely difficult for Alice to see, an anomaly we could only assume had to do with Bella's swiftly changing moods. At least the constantly blurry visions showed life, showed movement, showed there was at least some kind of future. While my mate—my reason for existing—was on enemy territory, it was as if they had already taken her from me.

While I knew she would more than likely come home safely, me being me could not help but reflect on what my life would be if she was no longer part of my world. The loneliness of the last eight decades would be nothing compared to what I would feel after finding her and then losing her. My already purposeless existence would become even more torturous to plod through as I waited for the sun to complete its transition from yellow dwarf to red giant and obliterate this planet I am bonded to till the end of time.

From my perch on the black leather couch in my room, I counted the seconds of each passing minute until her expected return. Since there was no human façade to maintain, I sat still as stone, only taking the occasional shallow breath I instinctively needed to maintain awareness of the scents around me. I refused to wait for Bella at her home, stalking her like a panther waiting for prey at the burrow of some small, furry creature. It was bad enough I _guarded _her at night, watching her sleep and obsessing over every word she let slip while dreaming.

There was a timeline I had established in my head, allowing myself to set a goal for how long I would force myself to wait before seeking out my other half. They left for the reservation at 10:07am. At 10:32am, Bella disappeared from Alice's visions. If Alice was unable to see Bella by 1pm, I would either break the treaty to find her on their land, or, more likely, my family would be sitting on top of me to prevent me from doing so.

Sitting on my fashionable couch, the perfect couch for an overly-emotional being that sparkles like a disco ball in the sun, I looked back on the past couple of days to try figuring out exactly what I was to Bella. For me, she was my everything. For her, as far as I could tell, I was a walking, talking, sometimes breathing, reminder of the worst time in her life. I had my work cut out for me. This, of course, explains why I spent all of class on Thursday ignoring her like a geeky, middle school boy. I may as well have put gum in her hair.

Friday was an improvement; I made her laugh. I will be forever grateful to the creators of _The Princess Bride_ for giving me that moment with my Bella. Watching her eyes light up and her mouth turn up in a true smile made me feel like I'd finally done something right by her. The most amazing was seeing what she looked like, if only for a few seconds, when her face was not drawn with worry and stress. It was now my goal to bring fun and light to her as often as possible.

I was in the middle of enjoying the photo perfect memory I have of Bella's laughing face, when another image of Bella entered my consciousness. Alice. Finally, Alice had seen that Bella would be spending a good part of the afternoon napping before waking up and making her father a complex meal. In the vision, she appeared pre-occupied as she bustled around the kitchen. Even on a Saturday evening, after what should have been a simple, care-free day, she seemed stressed and withdrawn. I ached to know what bothered her—what I could do to make things better.

Now that I knew she was safe, I finally felt as if I could loosen my vigil on Alice's head and give her husband a break from my brooding. I decided to see if Emmett would like to take a quick hunt with me; I needed some of my brother's lighter outlook on life.

Grumbling to myself about humans and appearances, I put on my winter-wear disguise while asking Emmett if he wanted to go find a hibernating bear or two to play with. Always up for a hunt, Emmett burst through my door and gave me a fist pump emphatic enough to put a hole through an armored tank. Luckily, only one of my knuckles was cracked in the process. Shooting Emmett a dirty look, I gave the back of my hand a quick lick of my venom to speed up the heeling.

"Sorry, bro," he commented, clearly only being polite instead of actually penitent.

"Save it; let's go." I returned, looking forward to stretching my legs before I took up vigil outside of Bella's home.

We had a few hours, which made a run up to Canada sound like a fine idea to both of us. The bears had been asleep for a couple of months by then and made fine sport when roused. We were careful to stay away from the mother bears nursing the young that had been born to them as they slept. Using our senses, we targeted older bears past reproductive age to minimize any detrimental effect on the population. While playing with our food may seem crass and cruel to some, we considered it a small reward for forgoing our proper diet of _homo sapiens,_ for which _Ursus arctos horribilis _was actually a pretty poor substitute.

Emmett lucked out and found a suitable sleeping bear after a brief search over the Canadian border. I prepared to sit and wait for him to finish when lady luck took mercy on me as well and sent a mountain lion my way; a favorite of mine. The cat was older, past her prime, and I considered myself to be doing her a favor by putting her down gently instead of having her torn apart by vicious badgers when she grew too weak to hunt or defend herself. Her blood slid down my throat, not quite soothing the burn entirely but taking enough of it away that it became easy to ignore. Only human blood could completely eradicate the scorching throat that is a vampire's constant curse. It has been over seventy years since I have felt the release; as much as I hate to admit it, I long for it, at least for a brief moment, every day.

Finished with our hunt, Emmett and I slowly make our way back to Forks. As usual, Emmett's thoughts were centered on Rosalie, and he looked forward to telling her about the bear. For once, I, too, had a mate to think about and continued to plan different ways to make her laugh again. _I think Emmett has an old who__opee cushion around somewhere. _Obviously, I had not entirely lost my lame sense of humor from when I was human.

Emmett and I parted when the zenith moon reached the top of the sky dome. My path to Bella's was well marked from my constant comings and goings, and I wasted no time making my way to the tree I had claimed as my watch tower. The angle was such that I had a perfect view of her bed, and I saw her asleep but tossing and turning in blankets wrapped around her like a Kraken. If she remained true to form, talking would follow the churning as she begged her mother not to leave her. I considered myself fortunate that I had no heart to break as I watched her struggle.

Something was different tonight, nothing I could articulate, but different all the same. Maybe it was the slight canine smell coming from her room, or maybe it was the extra bit of worry for his daughter I detected in her father's thoughts. Apparently, dinner did not go well. Whatever it was, I found myself unable to sit in my tree and watch the nightmares come for my mate this night, their black tales and fiery miens too much torture for such a slight girl.

Knowing full well the relaxing effect my scent had on those meant to be our prey, I leapt lithely into her room, soundlessly landing next to her bed. I crouched there, right where her head was moving back and forth, as she mumbled, _No no! _in her sleep. Sending light breaths her way, I fully expected to see her sink deeply into slumber due to the natural anesthetic lightly infused in my outgoing air.

Having no reason to expect the unexpected, I was fully unprepared when she shot up awake from the bed and started frantically looking around her room, clutching the blanket to her trembling body. Thankfully, instinct took over, and my body was back in my tree before the tail ends of her hair had risen off the bed. She was fully awake and showing definite signs that she knew I had been there. Her wide open eyes showed white all around the irises, and her breaths came fast and quick; each one a stab to my conscience for scaring her like this.

I was not sure what to do; I did not know if I should stay where I was and wait for her to calm down or if I should come clean and confirm for her that I was there. _What would make her happy?_

While I was thinking about my options, she started pacing in her small room. On her fifth turn by the door, right when I had decided to go to her, she surprised me by flinging it open and storming out. I could hear the uneven thuds on the stairs as she stumbled down; I winced hoping she would not fall to the bottom. There was a swish of cloth as a jacket was lifted from a hook and thrown on, and then a door opened and closed quickly but quietly. For her, I checked to make sure her father was still asleep; he was.

As if she was still on the stairs, she stumble-walked to the woods, stopping briefly at the tree line before plunging in. I followed close enough to keep watch but far enough behind to prevent her from smelling me again. Her toes seemed to snag on every tree root she went by; luckily, she remained on her feet, instead of falling head first into a tree.

I could not tell what she was getting out of this run in the forest; it was certainly not what I would have expected from her. If she went much further and did not calm down, I would not have much choice but to catch up to her to take her back to the safety of her home. It was a chilly night, for a human, and she was wearing only a sleep set of cotton shorts and t-shirt under the inadequate jacket she had grabbed. Once her adrenaline tapered off, she would feel every bit of the cold night air on her over-heated skin.

I was about to call quits to this escapade when she stopped of her own volition and sank down onto the ground in front of an uprooted tree. She stretched her legs out in front of her and leaned back against the gigantic root ball that had been ripped from the earth in a recent storm. As if she was at home in an old recliner, she wiggled around a bit and made herself comfortable. If it was not for the quiet mumbling coming out of her mouth, she would look almost normal.

Her words are disjointed and fast. "No—I won't—too scared!—why me?"

Irrespective of her relaxed pose, she was still very much on edge and frightened. Again, I considered going to her. For once, I almost wished my fortune-telling sister would contact me and let me know what course of action was best. I reached for my phone thinking I would give her a quick call, when I saw the screen was already lit with an incoming call from Alice.

"Alice, I was just going to call you. Do you see anything happening with Bella?" I spoke to my sister in the high-pitched voice vampires had the ability to use. It allowed us to communicate without any of the humans hearing us.

"I saw you decide to call me, but that is it. I can't see where you are or anything with Bella. What's going on? Are you both on the reservation?" Alice's voice was actually pitching higher and higher in her agitation of not being able to see. I needed to settle her down so we could talk but her worry was making me worry.

"We're in the woods behind Bella's house. You should be able to see us clearly."

We both voiced it at the same time, "Unless the wolves are here—"

Right then, several voices entered my head while, simultaneously, a horrific odor assailed my senses. I could only compare it to a dead wet dog I once found in the bottom of an overflowed septic tank—multiplied by a factor of one thousand. Fighting every urge I had to run and find the nearest tub of bleach with which to dunk the wolves into, I instead quickly ended my call with Alice and focused on what those voices were saying.

_Look, Leah, I don't care that it was the original and set the path for the rest. Star Trek the Next Generation was way better than plain old Star Trek. Captain Kirk was a douche__._

_You imbecile, Jake. What exactly does it mean when you compare someone to a feminine hygiene product? You're not even intelligent enough to have this conversation with. Not to mention that, unlike both Kirk and a douche, the fact that Picard hardly ever saw the inside of a pussy pretty much seals the deal on who was the better man._

_Are you two having this argument again? Don't you have anything better to talk about?_

_Fuck off, Quil; go back to your babysitting and leave us alone._

_Ugh, Leah's such bitch. I'd much rather take care of my little Claire than be saddled with an adult imprint anything like Leah._

_All right already! Leah, we're almost there. Focus. We'll talk more about your measure of a man later._

_Sounds like she'd respect me more if I had a willing harem of females. Too bad the imprint prevents me from so much as a half mast flag rise around anyone but her._

_Fuck, I forgot Jake's still basically a virgin. I'm never going to get this right._

This fascinating conversation was apparently the mental musings of multiple wolves. I would have to tell Carlisle this news as we were not aware they had any telepathic ability. I almost felt sorry for them given the obvious lack of privacy.

Jake, I knew, was actually Jacob Black, Ephraim Black's heir. Leah was a surprise as I had been unaware the females of the tribe could phase.

_This is the Swan house? Doesn't look like Chief of Police pays very well. Can't believe we have to patrol near this dump._

_Come on, Leah, like anyone else on the Reservation has a house anywhere near this nice. If you're expecting better for us, you're in for disappointment._

_Oh, don't worry, Jake. I know exactly how fucking disappointing the rest of my life is going to be._

_Damn it, Leah! Why do you have to say shit like that?_

_Fuck you, Jake! It's not like I have any more control of my thoughts than you do._

_Come on, guys, I'm still patrolling here at the Res and could use a break from the bickering._

_Sorry, Seth._

I could only assume Jake and Leah were a couple, an unhappy couple by the sound of it. Of course, the condition of their relationship was meaningless to me; I only wanted to know why they felt the need to patrol near my Bella's home.

_Ugh, what the fuck is that smell?_

_Vampire; there must be a vampire near here. Fuckers smell like candy canes dipped in battery acid._

It pleased me to know the odor assault went both ways. One under-utilized portion of my brain took a small moment to wonder if the acrimony between shape shifters and vampires was solely due to olfactory annihilation. The rest of my brain did not care.

_I smell Bella around here somewhere, too. I don't think she's in the house._

_Really, Jake? You remember what she smells like that well? I'm so happy to know what an impression she made on my imprint._

_Leah, not this again; you don't forget a scent any more than I do, so back off. Fuck, why can't my supposed mate be more like Bella? Ah, damn it! She heard that._

_Thanks a lot, Jake._

I would have to assure Leah that she need not deal with this Jake for much longer since I was going to be ripping him to shreds for presuming to compare his mate to mine—even if my mate did come out to be the superior one.

_I'm sorry, Leah. Look, let's just find the blood sucker and figure out what it wants with the Swans, okay?_

_Yeah, Jake, okay._

I was torn between meeting up with the wolves and keeping watch over my Bella. While I had been focused on the conversation in my head, she had been slowly calming down as she rested near the tree. Her heart rate had slowed and she was no longer mumbling aloud. With her head leaned back and her eyes closed, she appeared to be anyone taking a simple cat nap.

The smell of the shape-shifters getting closer prodded me to move further away from Bella in the hopes that they would come to me first before seeking her out. We needed to talk but I did not want her aware of any of this.

After a few minutes of listening to more bickering back and forth about whether or not to find me or Bella, they finally headed my way.

Abruptly, the stench was halved and an odd energy emitted from a spot a couple hundred yards from where I stood. One of the wolves had phased to human. This pleased me as I was not ready to give away my mind reading ability.

My first glimpse of them revealed a tall, russet-skinned boy with shaggy black hair and no clothing save for a pair of raggedy cut-off sweat pants; he was accompanied by a sleek, gray wolf whose shoulder height was only slightly lower than my own. Disgusting odor aside, she was actually quite majestic looking, and I found myself a bit in awe of what this small, ancient tribe was capable of. It was too bad the personalities did not seem on par with the appearance.

Knowing myself to be the eldest at the gathering, and the most mature from what I had seen of their thoughts, I decided to lead the meeting off as non-acrimoniously as possible.

"Go away." I thought that was polite enough, considering the circumstances.

"We'll go away as soon as you're about five miles further away from that human over there, you filthy blood sucking scum bag."

_Scum bag? _I had not heard that particular epithet in quite some time.

_Scum bag? Jake, what are you? Twelve?_

There was no response from Jacob to Leah's thought, so the mind meld must only be in place while in wolf form. _Interesting. Still, not the priority right now._

"While I applaud your originality when it comes to insults, I assure you that the human over there is in no danger from me. We're friends, and I'm making sure she's safe. So, like I said—go away."

"What the hell does a human need a vampire to keep her safe from? It's our job to keep the humans safe, not yours. Get the fuck back to your crypt before I carry you there in pieces."

This lovely threat was accompanied with quite the fierce drawing together of heavy black eyebrows and flexing of overly large biceps. A younger vampire would have been scared, I'm sure.

As entertaining as this conversation was, I did have a mate to get home safe and sound which made the continued delay very irritating. I tried to remain calm as I was in danger of simply eliminating both of them on the spot and causing an inter-species, supernatural war. I decided to try once more, this time without the sarcasm which maybe was a bit too much for his limited intellect.

"Look, my family has reason to keep a special watch on the Swans. I assure you, we're far more capable of guaranteeing her safety than a tribe of young shape-shifters could ever be."

I no sooner finished speaking when the boy strode up to me to stand toe to toe; I am sure it was an attempt to emphasize the unnatural height and width he was afflicted with as an intimidation technique. Unfortunately for him, the wrinkled nose ruined the effect.

"Your family will keep away from the Swans, or we'll keep you away. That's what you can be assured of, you filthy blood-sucker." Young Jacob tried to assert as much malice as possible into his words.

While I would give him an A for effort, his delivery was a bit too dramatic to be taken seriously. My patience was at an end, though, as I knew every second I spent dealing with this mongrel, my mate was getting more and more chilled from the cold ground.

In a move too fast for the mutt to see, I jumped and flipped in the air to land on my feet behind him while, at the same time, I kicked into the back of his legs, bringing him to his knees. Enforcing the position, I pushed down on his shoulders with my hands and dug my fingers into muscle and bone, the resulting pain preventing him from phasing.

Before the gray wolf could defend her mate, I had my razor sharp teeth at the boy's throat, ready to bite at the slightest provocation. I raised my eyebrows at her, signaling her to back down if she wanted me to ease up on him. I counted on them both being aware that my bite would be fatal to the shape-shifter, regardless of whether or not I drank whatever foul-smelling liquid passed for blood in his body.

I waited for Leah to be a two hundred yards away before addressing the couple once again, ignoring the empty threats in Jacob's head about impending disembowelment. _I don;t need my bowels anyway; I'm not even sure I have them anymore._

"I hope there's no longer any uncertainty as to who should be protecting Ms. Swan. I'm going to let your companion go now and expect you both to tuck tail and run back to your sovereign land. Do not presume to call our little scuffle a treaty violation as no human was harmed during the making of your humiliation." It amused me to speak to them like a haughty asshole.

Once Leah gave the obligatory growl of displeasure and then nodded in agreement, I let up on Jacob and leapt back as I knew his phasing would be instantaneous. As expected, he immediately turned wolf and whirled around, attempting to attack me. Disappointed, and bored with such a predictable response, I delivered a round house kick to his shoulder, sending him skidding along the forest floor into his mate. Jacob tried to come after me again, but Leah firmly took his tail into her mouth and started dragging him in the opposite direction. If I could have died, it would have been then from laughing at the sight.

I could hear Leah convincing Jacob to head home by promising they would get me next time, that I had only been lucky tonight. Too bad in wolf form, he could see as easily as I the lie behind her words. I was done with them, though, and headed back to Bella, anxious to get her back into her room.

During the short altercation with the wolves, Bella had slumped down further and was curled up as tightly as could be. Her heart rate had slowed to an alarming rate, and I feared that hypothermia was imminent. I knew holding her to my body would only make her colder; I scooped her up wedding-style but kept my arms fully extended while running her back home.

Once I approached the Swan house, a quick moment of focus revealed Chief Swan was still asleep and had not become aware of his daughter's absence. Thankful that at least one thing had gone right this evening, I gently placed Bella back in her bed and covered her with as many blankets as I could find. A quick rummage through the kitchen yielded a pound of rice which I quickly poured onto a towel and then heated in the microwave. Back in her room, I tied up the warm little bundle with one of my shoelaces and placed it against her chest to aid in heating her core.

There being nothing left I could do for her, I sat in the tree outside her window and counted the ways I would damage the Jacob wolf if she did not recover fully from tonight's adventures. Yet, I knew that if I was going to be honest with myself, it was my earlier presence that had set her off in the first place. I vowed to myself never to enter her room without permission again.

**A/N: I know this chapter was a bit short, I'm trying to limit one POV per chapter and this one had to end here. Chapter 8 should be posting very soon though!**

**A bit of news, if you don't mind. I'll be submitting a story to the Fandom Against Juvenile Diabetes effort. If you are interested in obtaining the collaboration, please see my profile for the link.**


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N - Hello! An update that didn't take a month to post - yay! As always, you can thank KatsFlowerGirls and SaritaDreaming that this is not absolute shite. Enjoy :)**

**~Bella~**

When I woke up Sunday morning, I felt the same way I did after my drug overdose—like my brain was saturated with NyQuil—the old one, not the new one that was so _safe _it was completely ineffectual. Although, I guess given my bad experience with meth, I should be grateful something was being done to make ingredients less available, especially considering how the urge to try erasing my brain was coming on extremely strong. I never thought I would want to try drugs again, but having vampires appear in my day-to-day life was becoming too much for me to handle.

I wished my memory of Saturday night was not so clear. I wished I could chalk it all up to a dream or something. But I could not. I knew damn well when I woke up in the middle of the night on Saturday there had been a vampire in my room. I had sat next to that distinct scent every day in Biology last week, it was not something I would mistake for anything else. The smell was not unique to Edward alone; I had been close enough to the other Cullens to know they all smelled like they had been dipped in yummy maple syrup.

Shivers crawled up and down my skin like ants when I thought about waking up last night. My first thought had been that the James vampire had finally come back for me. Frantically, I had searched my room for him, expecting him to jump out of hiding in an overzealous attempt at being scary. Such theatrics would hardly be necessary for him to induce fear into every cell of my body.

Moments had passed without anyone attacking me. My father's snores could clearly be heard from his room, allowing me to know he slept safely in his bed down the hall. It seemed I was not going to be attacked tonight which left me relieved, but confused. I paced my room trying to think straight.

Who had been in my room? And, why?

Was it one of the Cullens?

Everything had been fine at school the last couple of days. After Wednesday's debacle, Thursday and Friday had gone smoothly; I had done nothing to give the vampire family any reason to be concerned. Edward had even made me laugh on Friday.

Could it have been him in my room? Did they decide I was too much of a danger to them after all?

I do not know what happened to me then. Either the adrenaline rush from waking up to the vampire scent pushed me over the edge, or the uncertainty of not knowing who was in my room was the catalyst. Whichever—suddenly, I did not fucking care anymore. I had been living in fear of these creatures for too long; if they were all going to toy with me like a mouse, I was not going to simply stand here and take it.

I ran out of my room and down the stairs, remembering too late that my father slept only a few feet away. Fortune was with me, and he did not wake up, a miracle considering he is a police officer with a teenage girl in the house.

Not even stopping, I grabbed the first thing my hand touched from the coat rack as I went by and threw it over my shoulders with one hand while closing the door with the other. I immediately regretted not paying more attention to what I wore as the light wind breaker did not add much warmth to my skimpy pajamas. The cold air was already frigid on my skin, and I felt dangerously exposed to the weather and whatever else might be out there.

Regardless, determined to continue on, I picked up speed hoping to warm myself up. I was going to turn myself into a nice little piece of bait for whoever was stalking me. It was time to end this fucking shit.

Thankfully the moon was bright, allowing me to see where I was going. Still, I managed to trip on nearly every tree root and rock the ground could put in my path. I had not gone much more than a few hundred feet before I was simply exhausted from trying to run in the woods. It was hard to maintain any sort of righteous indignation when I was skinning my knees like a four year old. Finding a conveniently located uprooted tree, I sank down in front of it and closed my eyes. I made a better target sitting than running anyway.

Once I was no longer darting this way and that like a crazy person, I was actually able to get the clarity of mind I had been seeking when pacing my room. I realized while drawing the evil vampire out and ending this farce did have some appeal, I was not quite ready to simply offer myself up as a meal to the creature who had killed my mother. But if it had been one of the Cullens who was in my room, I wanted to know, and I hoped they would come to me here and explain—assuming, of course, that they were not going to simply kill me. On the third hand, if the James vampire had decided it was snack time, better he come for me out here than in the house where my father slept unaware of what lay in wait for his daughter. Undecided as to what made the most sense, I sat there mumbling aloud, trying to use my own voice for comfort.

While I did not remember anything after that, I knew damn well that I did not pick myself up off of the ground and walk back to my house, up the stairs, and into my room. I certainly did not make myself the odd little pillow of rice that was now scattered all over my floor after I threw it off of me upon waking. _Where on earth did that come from? Is it supposed to mean something? Are coffin pill__ows made out of rice?_ I could not decide if the pillow represented a threat, or if it had been an attempt at providing comfort. All I knew was that someone was in my room on Saturday night, and someone put me back in my room after I had gone off the deep end and put myself at risk.

Needing a way to keep my hands busy while my mind whirled, I decided to lose myself in some cooking and house work. It was fishing day for my dad, and I thought I would surprise him by getting the rest of our stuff unpacked and putting a nice Sunday dinner on the table while he was away.

Thankful he was already gone, I headed downstairs to have some breakfast before starting my day. Saving myself more work later, I kept it simple with a bowl of cereal eaten in front of the TV. I flipped on the news and was not surprised to see a report of three recent unexplained deaths in the area. They were thought to be the work of a rabid animal. I disagreed.

Setting my cereal aside, I slumped down in my seat and rested my head in my arms. This must be it. There were too many signs—the vampires in school, the one or more in my room, my unexplained transport from the forest to my bed—it was as if my own personal apocalypse was being portended. The phrase "dead man walking" all of a sudden took on new meaning for me. I could feel it—this new emptiness inside, like there was no longer a point to anything anymore.

Giving up on all my productive plans for the day, I stretched out on the couch and covered myself with the old blanket we used for hiding food stains on our ancient sofa. I simply lay there, marveling how what I had thought was a pathetic existence before was nothing compared to how I felt now. There had always been the fear; ever since my mother's death, I felt the fear of knowing I would be hunted some day. The only thing that had kept me sane was knowing it was only the future I needed to fear, not the present. Now, that future was my present—and I was terrified.

I must have fallen back asleep because next thing I knew, I was jarred awake by a pounding on the door. Frightened at first, I strained to hear what might be on my front step. There were two voices in discussion, and I was able to identify them as Chief Black and his son Jacob. I had no idea why they would be coming here on a Sunday afternoon, and I certainly was not up for visitors, but I could not leave them out there in case they needed something important from my dad. I opened the door, reluctantly, and tried to appear welcoming.

"Hi. Are you here to see my dad?" I think I even managed to smile, but it may have come out as more of a grimace.

"Hello, Bella," Chief Black replied. "We're actually here for lunch. We ran into your father out on the river, and he invited us over. I've got the fish fry, and your dad has the fish; he should be along any moment now. We can wait out here if that makes you more comfortable." Chief Black seemed really nice, but his son was acting very weird. He was looking all over the place and sniffing like a dog.

"No, please, come on in. Make yourselves comfortable. I'll start getting things ready."

Being the daughter of an avid fisherman, I could whip up fried fish in no time. I took the sack Chief Black handed me and went into the kitchen to heat up the lard. Surprisingly, I was thankful for the distraction and wondered if maybe I was not as resigned to my fate as I thought. It was easier to fight the darkness when I was not alone.

"Hey, Bella. Remember me? We met at the reservation?"

I jumped a bit, not realizing Jake had come into the kitchen, and dropped the spatula into the hot fat. Splatters hit my arm, and I hissed with pain from the contact.

"Whoa, sorry! I thought you heard me come in." He grabbed a dish towel and wet it with cold water before handing it to me for my arm.

"Thanks. Sorry, I was off in my own little world." It seemed a bit over-dramatic to mention I was contemplating my impending death at the hands of a mythical creature.

"Hey, uhm, any other troubles with those Cullens at your school?"

I did a quick mental review of our conversation the other day. I do not have the best memory in the world, but I am almost one hundred percent sure I did not mention the Cullens by name.

"Sorry? Not sure what you mean? I don't remember saying anything about the Cullens. I've met a couple of them, but there hasn't been any trouble. They mostly keep to themselves."

Jake's expression turned very disgruntled then, like he realized he had said something he should not have. As unaware of the vampires in their midst that the students at Forks High seemed to be, it appeared their secret was not entirely as well kept as I would have thought.

"Oh, uh, I guess I misunderstood. You mentioned something about a good looking, pale family. Around here, that's the Cullens."

_Nice recovery, Jake—if we weren't in the Pacific Northwest—pale skinned capital of the nation, excepting the Quileutes of course._

"No. Luckily, all the kids in the school actually seem pretty nice."

Regardless of how I currently felt about what was going on with the vampires in my life, I was not ready to discuss that with an unknown element. Jake seemed nice and all, but I had no reason to trust him with a secret I had been keeping for ten years.

My arm felt better, allowing me to take the towel off and throw it on the counter. I had a couple little char marks on my skin, but nothing too bad.

The front door to the house opened then, and I heard my father say hello to Chief Black. I excused myself with Jake and went to go say hi.

"Hey, Dad. Looks like we have company for lunch. Did you bring me some fish? I've got the fry ready to go."

"Yeah, Bells. It's in the cooler still. Let me get cleaned up a bit; then I'll go get it for you. Sorry to spring guests on you at the last minute. We got to talking, and well, you know how it goes." He gave me a sheepish grin then, and I was struck for a moment at how young my dad could still look when he was not stressed with worry for his daughter. I hoped Chief Black turned out to be a good friend for him, even if there was weirdness between me and his son.

Jake had come out of the kitchen, and I ducked back in to let the guys hang out and talk fish while I gathered up some other foods to serve. There was still some homemade macaroni and cheese left from the other night, and solely for shits and giggles, I threw together a quick salad on the off chance one of the manly men would be struck with an urge for leaves.

As I tossed the salad, it was not lost on me that I was grinning in the process, thinking of the look that would be on my dad's face when I put it on the table. Funny, a few moments ago I had been ready to throw in the towel and let fate do away with me, and now I was ready to fight again, weaponless as usual, but ready all the same.

Charlie brought the fish in, and the small kitchen was soon filled with the scent of frying food. Careful of the burns I already had, I stood as far away from the pan as possible when turning the fish, stretching up on my toes to get me those extra couple of centimeters. The hair on the back of my neck started to prickle, and I turned around to find Jake watching me with an odd look on his face. Realizing that I was basically standing there with my ass stuck up in the air like I was waiting to be mounted, I blushed furiously and tossed the spatula on the counter before gathering up paper plates and towels for serving the food. Behind me, I heard Jake's heavy feet heading back out to the living room. I knew he had a girlfriend, which made the whole thing very weird, not to mention that guys simply did not normally look at me like that.

Looking down and taking a quick peek at myself, I realized that instead of my normal loose jeans and oversized hoodie, I was wearing around-the-house clothes of leggings and tank top—clothes that guys never saw me in. My dad kept the house warm constantly since the heat helped combat all the Pacific Northwest dampness, which meant I frequently wore summer clothes at home. Seeing myself through Jake's eyes, it was a bit surprising to realize maybe I actually was attractive to the opposite sex—something to consider if I ever had reason to think I would live to see my twenties. Still, even though Jake was a very good looking guy, I was not interested in him ogling me. I grabbed one of my dad's oversized shirts from the hall closet and threw it on. Comfortably clad in my flannel plaid muumuu, I finished up the food and brought it out to the guys, now comfortably ensconced in front of the TV. Jake managed to politely accept the plate from me without his eyes leaving the game.

Not interested in the sports stuff the guys were watching, I headed back to the kitchen table to eat. Grabbing my phone, I went into my blog reader to look for updates on the blogs I followed. Each and every one was devoted to vampire seekers, people who believed the myth and were determined to find the reality. So far, none had actually come across a real vampire—that I knew of—I always wondered about the ones who all of a sudden stopped posting. There was one couple, kind of hippyish, who swore there was some kind of vampire enclave in Italy. They spent a whole year raising money to go out there; three days into their trip, and the blog was abruptly taken down. Very interesting.

As deep into my reading as I was, I again did not notice when Jake came into the kitchen.

"Hey, Bella, we're heading out now, just wanted to say goodbye."

My head nearly hit the ceiling, and my phone flew out of my hands when I jumped at the sound of his voice. He grabbed it before it hit the floor. I could tell he was trying to hide it but he sneaked a peak at the screen before handing it back to me.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to pry. Vampires again? You really do have an obsession."

"Yeah, I guess so." I swear, Jake was either staring at my ass or making me feel like one. I was ready for him to be gone.

I started to head out into the living room to say good bye to Chief Black when a knock at the kitchen door had me changing direction. Unfortunately, Jake had been following right behind me, and I ended up plowing into him after turning around. It was like slamming into a brick wall—a very hot brick wall. Odd how he felt every bit as hard as the big vampire I had stumbled into at school. He was like an oven baked vampire.

"Geez, Jake. Are you okay? You feel like you have a fever or something."

He did not answer me; I looked up to see what was going on and his face scared the fuck out of me. There was an insane amount of anger in his expression, like he was ready to tear something to shreds. He was staring out the back door I was on my way to open.

"Jake? What's wrong?"

"Bella, do you mind going out to the living room and letting me get the door?"

What the fuck? Did he really think I was going to be okay with that?

"Uh, sorry, Jake, but I would really rather answer my own door—you know, my house and all that. You can feel free to go out to the living room, though—I'm sure we're safe considering the Chief of Police is out there."

He did not reply, but he did not leave, either. I had to go around him to get to the door, and I was starting to get really irritated with him.

A peek out the door window had me even more flummoxed. What on earth was Edward Cullen doing here? I looked back at Jake; he was staring right at Edward from where he stood. He looked even more pissed than before. There was definitely something between those two—and I was willing to bet it had everything to do with Edward being a vampire.

Feeling like I was in some kind of weird alternate universe, I opened the door and extended a pleasant greeting to my guest.

"Hey, Edward, uhm, what's up?" He really brought out the loquaciousness in me.

"Bella, Jacob, how are we this evening?" Edward seemed to be in quite the jaunty mood, Jake's very obvious anger not affecting him one bit.

"Cullen, what are you doing here? And how the fuck do you know my name?"

"Same way you know mine, I imagine. Anyway, I came to visit Bella. It's a nice night; I thought she might like to go out for a drive. Bella?"

Any moment now the theme from the _Twilight Zone_ was going to start playing. Did I want to go for a drive, in the dark, with a vampire? Fuck no. Did I want to go for a drive with Edward Cullen? Surprisingly, there was something in me that screamed yes. Unsure of how to relay that sentiment, Jake decided to take matters into his own hands.

"The Swans have company right now. I think Bella is too polite and to up and leave while she has guests."

Now he was really pissing me off.

"Jake, didn't you just tell me you and your dad were leaving?" Oh, shit, he'd given me an out, and I trashed it out of spite. By the looks Edward and Jake were giving me, they both knew it, too.

"Well, Jacob, looks like Bella is free to go after all then. Be sure to extend my salutations to your father." Edward got a funny look on his face then and motioned to my arm. "Are you okay, Bella? That looks recent." By the look he shot Jake, it was obvious he was immediately assigning blame.

"It's all right. Just a bit of splatter from the fish fry. Looks worse than it feels." I hastened to assure him.

A vampire and an I-don't-know-what were practically fighting over me here in my kitchen, and all I could do was use everything I had to stifle the giggles threatening to explode out of my mouth—_and I never giggled_. It was just so funny, though; the more Jake got mad, the more Edward smirked and snarked, which made Jake even more pissed. It was clear Edward was deliberately pushing Jake's buttons and as annoyed with him as I was, and I could not help but enjoy the show.

"Okay, Edward, let me go tell my dad I'm leaving. I'll be right back."

Jake was right on my heels as I went back out to the living room. An extremely loaded look crossed between him and Chief Black. Whatever it was Jake did not like about Edward, Chief Black was in on it.

"Uh, Dad? A friend from school showed up and wants to take me for a ride. Do you mind?"

My dad's face lit up like someone had handed him season tickets to every sporting event in the freakin' world.

"No, Bella, of course not. You go have fun with your friend. Who is she? I didn't realize you'd become friendly with anyone here yet. That's great!"

Ugh, could my dad make it any more obvious it was incredibly unusual for me to have a friend?

"Well, uh, _he _is Edward Cullen. He's my Biology lab partner at school." This was really getting embarrassing. Now my dad looked like someone had offered him season tickets, a lifetime supply of free beer, and then kicked him in the nuts.

"A boy? Wow, that's great Bells! Wait, what's his name again? I think I should meet him before you go."

_Nice, Dad; make sure everyone here realizes I have never had to introduce a guy to you before._

"Dad, really? He's just a guy from school, and we're only going for a ride." Fuck, I sounded like a whiny bitch now.

"Yes, Bella. Really."

No help for it then. I headed back out to the kitchen to see if Edward would be up for meeting the Chief of Police. I really hoped he was as much a loner as he seemed, or I was going to be the laughing stock of school tomorrow after he told all his friends how lame my dad is.

Edward was standing in the kitchen when I entered the room. Obviously, he had heard everything.

"It's okay, Bella. Of course I'll meet your father before taking you out."

Gee, 'taking me out' sounded way different from going for a drive. I raised an eye brow at him but only received a pleasant grin in return.

"Okay, then."

Edward followed me into the very crowded living room, and I made the introductions.

"Dad, this is Edward Cullen. Edward, this is my dad. Uh, I don't know what he wants you to call him?" I looked at my dad, very much at a loss for how to do this without seeming like a complete loser. That ship might have already sailed.

"Edward, you can call me Chief Swan. Where are you planning on taking my daughter?"

Hole-E-Shit—dad was going all uber-protective parent on him. I could feel the fire coming off my face, and I must have been candy-apple red.

"The Chorus frogs are signing quite loud tonight over by the school. I thought it would be good for some biology extra credit if we went and took a recording, maybe get one on camera."

"Frogs?" he repeated back incredulously, "You're taking her to see frogs? Well, good luck with that."

My dad knew that my interest in anything that lived in the woods was even lower than my interest in sports. I guess he felt he did not need to worry any more about a guy that would take his daughter on such a geeky date.

I glanced over to Jake and Chief Black; they seemed to be involved in some kind of silent conversation conducted entirely with their eyebrows. As big and hairy as they were, they still did not seem all that useful for communication. I decided to leave them to it and mumbled a quick goodbye before leading Edward back out to the kitchen.

"Okay, I guess we can go see the frogs now." I admit, there was a big part of me that hoped he had made all that up for my father. Something told me, though, that Edward was too principled to lie—vicious killer, maybe, liar, I did not think so.

"After you, Bella." He shut the door behind us and followed me out to the drive way where a silver Volvo waited. The irony of the most dangerous predator on the planet driving a Volvo of all things was not lost on me.

"A Volvo, Edward? I have to admit, I wouldn't have thought this would be your car. Is it your parents'?"

"What's wrong with a Volvo? I know the station wagons are lame, but this is a fully-loaded C30."

He sounded hurt I made fun of his car. Still, it was a Volvo. And he was a vampire; I did not feel very much pressure to protect his feelings.

"Edward, I'm sorry, but a Volvo is a Volvo. If you're going to be a teenage guy, get the right car."

"If?" he asked with a raised eye brow while holding the door open for me to get in.

Gathering all my courage and looking him straight in the eye, I replied, "Yeah, if," and then sank into my seat as fast as I could, grabbing the door from him and shutting it, conveniently blocking out for the moment that he would be sitting next to me in about five seconds.

"Well, Bella," I heard in my left ear even sooner than I thought I would, "looks like we have a lot to talk about."

At that, I decided it would be best to simply remain silent.

Edward seemed to be in agreement on putting a halt to the inevitable conversation for the moment, and I was very grateful. My mind was going quite a bit crazy trying to conceive of actually discussing vampires with a vampire. It had been my focus for so long—keep the secret…keep the secret—and here I was throwing his otherness in his face like it was nothing. I could literally feel the sweat start to form all over my body as nervousness turned every skin cell I had into pins and needles.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Edward visibly suck in extra breath and then stop breathing entirely. Remembering too late what the James vampire had told me, I became afraid that whatever control Edward regularly used to avoid snacking on his peers was sorely tested by my falling to pieces on his leather seats. It said something, though, that Edward was no longer bothering to pretend around me; his stillness was clearly inhuman.

Edward drove as if we were being chased, making the drive to school much quicker than normal. He pulled into the parking lot, which was actually fuller than I expected, and shut the car off while opening the windows. Immediately, he turned his face to the fresh air and took in several deep breaths. I turned out my own window to give him a bit of privacy, not exactly sure why I felt he needed it, only it seemed rude to watch him struggle to overcome his desire to kill me. Of course, I was extremely grateful that he was winning that struggle and incredibly surprised that I was not more afraid. Maybe my body could only take so much fear in one short lifetime.

Listening to the noises outside, I could tell that an impromptu gathering was taking place. People from all over Forks had come to listen to the little frogs getting an early start on their search for a mate. Allowing the distraction to take over for a bit, I marveled at the incredibly loud sounds coming from the tiny Chorus frogs. As much as I hated the slimy little suckers, I had to respect the ability.

"Bella, I'm not sure where to start this conversation. I've gone over it several times now in my head, trying to picture exactly what I would say to you. You know what I am, right?"

I turned to look at Edward before answering him. He was staring straight ahead, his gaze directed off into the distance, not focused on anything I could see. He actually looked—embarrassed.

"Yes, Edward, I know what you are—what you're family is."

"Will you say it? Out loud?" Still, he would not look at me.

I whispered, "vampire" and then directed my own gaze out of the window before me, afraid to see his reaction.

He sighed. It sounded _relieved_.

"Thank you, Bella. I'm sorry—I'm sorry I was cowardly and made you speak the word before I would. I had to be sure. I could never put you in danger by being the one to tell you of our existence."

I laughed—put me in danger? When had I not been in danger?

"Edward, I've been in danger from your kind since I was seven years old. I don't think there's anything you could do to make the situation worse—other than decide to kill me yourself before the other one gets the chance. Although, now that I mention it, maybe that would be preferable."

"Who, Bella? Who is the other one you mentioned?"

Fuuuck—now that shit was scary. Edward went from pleasant to lethal in two seconds flat. Thankfully, his ire was obviously not directed at me but the one I feared.

"He gave his name as James; I call him 'the James vampire.' He's the one who killed my mother. Do you know of him?" I was not sure how small or large the vampire community was. Maybe they had conferences and shit.

"No, not yet."

Somehow, with those three simple words, and, of course, the incredibly menacing tone used to utter them, I knew Edward was on my side. As grateful as I was inclined to feel now that I knew he wanted to protect me, I was afraid I was putting him in danger. My fucking head was such a self-defeating roller coaster, but I knew me, and the thought of him risking his life, or whatever he called it, would eat at me until I did something stupid to fuck everything up.

"Bella, I need for you to tell me everything you remember about this James. Can you do that for me?" Why, I wondered; why did he sound so ready to tear this creature apart for me? I was nothing to him; James was one of his kind.

"Edward, why? What are you planning to do? He's a vampire, like you. Why would you go up against him for me? I can't let you do that."

He looked at me then, the expression on his face deep but unfathomable to me. I felt like he was seeing parts of me I didn't even know I had.

"You've only seen the evil that my kind can do; I know this. There's more, though. We laugh, we love, we protect. I want to protect you."

"Why?"

"Because I can, we can—my whole family will help. I only need for you to let me know what you remember of him. Please. Now."

While part of me bristled at his demanding tone, I recognized an unstoppable force when I saw one.

"I don't know, Edward. He's a vampire. You know what they look like. Blond hair, red eyes. Does that help? Speaking of, why aren't your eyes red?"

"Animals. Did he talk to you? Did he have an accent? Was anyone with him? Was his hair long or short? Build: was he slender or thick? I need more."

"Look, Edward, I've been trying to block out everything from that day every other day since then. Can you please ease up a bit, and let me think? Why does it even matter—is there some kind of VICAP vampire database? And what you do you mean by animals? Are you saying you drink animal blood instead of human?"

His one-track mind and interrogation style of questioning were spinning my head. It was as if the playful boy from Friday's biology class was replaced with a completely different person.

"Bella, please, I need to end James within the shortest time possible. To do that, I need your help. I have to know everything you know."

"Okay, okay. He had longish hair, back in a pony tail. Looked like he slept on it or something; it was all ratty. I think he was tall, but I was seven, so everyone was tall. Definitely slender. No accent. He told me he was coming back for me; he said that living a life of fear would make my blood taste even better than it would have if he had killed me that day. That's why he killed my mom, so he could leave me to _season_. Are you happy now?"

I was crying, unable to hold it in any longer. All the memories he forced me to dredge up, and all the stress I was feeling from talking to him, was too much for me. I started to bawl like I had not done since I was a child. Full on, nose snorting, tears dripping, crying. He was going to beg James to take me if I kept carrying on like this; I couldn't stop, though.

He reached for my hand, as if to comfort me, and then drew back. There was sadness on his face now, instead of the rage. My crying was making him sad. Why? What was this connection the vampire felt with me? I could not understand why I mattered to him at all.

I finally got control of myself and tried to change the subject.

"So about the animals, is that it? You drink animal blood instead of human?"

"Yes, my family and I feed exclusively from animals. We call ourselves vegetarians. There aren't many of us that live the way we do, but for us, it is the only way we can accept what we are, instead of hating ourselves."

I still had some residual sniffles to conquer but wanted to keep asking questions to try understanding what made him and his family different from the others.

"Are the rest like James? Do they all like to mess with the humans they kill?

"No; there are some like him, but the majority of human feeders do so without the person ever even realizing they were about to die. We can be very quick when we want to."

"I know. I saw."

He looked at me with concern then.

"Bella, I don't know why he has done this to you. It's the one rule we all live by: never let a human know what we are. It's incredibly unusual that a vampire would deliberately let a human know what he is and then let the human live."

"He said it would make me taste better when he came back to me. It was something about me smelling superior to everyone else, but that I would improve even more with age and fear."

"Did he say anything else to you?"

"He threatened me. If I told anyone, he'd kill my father, too. Will you protect my dad, Edward? Please, if you have to choose, choose my dad, okay? He's the one that does all the good."

I wanted to slap myself in the face for being so stupid. How could I have forgotten that threat from the James vampire?

"Edward, could he be here right now? Could he be listening to me talk to you? What if he goes after my dad?" Upset again, the water works resumed, and I fought to stem the tide as I entreated him for reassurance.

"No; he's not here. I would be able to tell if there was another vampire nearby. The closest is Alice and Jasper; they are in the black Mercedes over there."

I was starting to feel like Sybil of multiple personality disorder fame; immediately after hearing there were more vampires nearby, I had two very separate and distinct reactions: abject fear at being surrounded by vampires _and _comfort from being protected by multiple vampires. Could my head get any more fucked up? I think my eyes even crossed.

Edward must have sensed I was not one hundred percent pleased with this news; or maybe he could tell that only fifty percent of me was one hundred percent happy—_what the fuck ever_—he tried to reassure me.

"You have nothing to fear from anyone in my family. Your safety is important to all of us, not just me."

He smiled at me then, a smile no less beautiful for the oddly gleaming teeth it revealed—no less beautiful, but certainly very inhuman. I shuddered. Revulsion? Attraction? Twinges in body parts that had heretofore never twinged gave a clue as to which it was.

Edward's nostrils flared then, and the look he gave me was very different from any other that had passed from him to me so far. His strange amber colored eyes appeared to darken and glow like a low fire. Immediately, I felt my whole body heat up as I blushed from head to toe. I was not a complete neophyte when it came to girl parts, even with as little attention I had given my own, and I knew he had scented that virgin twinge.

Our eyes remained locked on each other, his showing growing arousal and hunger, mine showing embarrassment and fear; the fear in mine increasing in time with the hunger in his.

Finally, he broke the gaze first, wrenching open the door handle in the process and stepping from the vehicle in a blur. Vaguely, I noticed the handle was no longer attached to the door; I assumed that was the projectile I then saw him throw into the woods. Unsure if it was safer for me to stay in the car or get out, I froze in confusion as to what I should do. His words of safety aside, it was obvious that it did not take much to turn him from protector to predator.

My indecision rendered me incapable of figuring out what I needed to do to ensure my own safety. I felt incredibly ineffectual and pathetic. Turned into a useless pile of shit by a self-proclaimed _safe_ vampire, what would my reaction be when confronted by the one who had been looking forward to killing me for the past ten years?

Tears leaked out of my eyes again despite my fervent attempts to stop them from doing so. I was such a loser; I probably only imagined arousal in Edward's eyes. I bet it was actually disgust with me and my scent. Why would a creature like that want to fuck something he was supposed to kill and drain anyway? I hated him; I feared him. Why should I care what he thought of me? He was a vampire, and I was done trying to pretend otherwise.

I opened the door and stepped from the car, intending to walk home. A quick glance at Edward showed him leaning up against the driver's side, his head hung down low. I had no way of knowing what was going through his mind, but I could only imagine it was regret for taking on the role of protecting me from one of his own. My own head slumped forward, and I started trudging home, terribly disappointed in myself for my stupid reactions and feelings towards Edward.

The car was only a few feet behind when Edward silently started walking along beside me. I was not ready to look at him yet, afraid of what I would see on his face. Sadly, if I was being honest with myself, I did not know which I feared seeing more—hunger or apathy. My mind was like some kind of fucked up kaleidoscope. All these bits and pieces rumbling around each time I turned, but the finished picture always a thing of horror instead of beauty.

"Bella, I apologize for my behavior back there. Would it make any sense if I said I was only human?"

"Huh?" I was glad I could impress him with my intellectual acumen.

He chuckled, and I finally looked up to see him gazing back with neither hunger nor apathy; I turned a way fast, not wanting to try labeling what I thought I saw but could not believe.

"I'm sorry, Bella. How do I say this without seeming a complete cad. In the car? Your scent? Let's just say it affected me in a way I was not used to."

"Yeah, I can imagine you're not disgusted by the scent of your prey very often," I grumbled at him.

He stopped walking then and lightly grabbed my arm while he opened his mouth to reply. It was the first time his skin had touched mine; I recoiled from the coldness and took my arm out of his grasp, but not before I felt the oddest tingle of electricity between us, similar to a shock, only pleasurable instead of painful. I regretted moving my arm out of his hand so fast.

The look on his face was filled with a deep sadness; I felt even worse for moving away, not even realizing that I could have offended him. I wanted to offer my arm back to him, but I could not think of a way to do it without seeming like a complete tool. All I could manage back was a look of apology and sadness of my own.

"It's all right, Bella; I know how my skin feels to humans." He sounded so dejected, I almost wanted to put my arms around him in some crazy attempt to make him feel better. _No way._

We were quiet then for a while and continued to slowly walk to my house; he apparently did not care that his car was left behind in the school parking lot. I thought the whole walk was going to be silent until he stopped under one of the bright street lights and spoke once more.

"Bella, I've been a coward, and it's time I stopped. I need to let you know the truth of what I feel for you so there are no misunderstandings. Then, even though I think I know, I hope you'll do the same, so we can see where we stand with each other."

**A/N Yep, I am exploring the world of cliffies - don't hate me! Chapter 9 is under way...For those that are curious, there is a video of a Chorus frog on my profile.**


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: Hi! Sorry...so sorry!...for the delay. I hope you think it is worth the wait...Thanks so much to KatsFlowerGirls for assuring me my ideas were not crazy and to Saritadreaming for making sure they were actually understandable :) **

**~Edward~**

The mating song of the Chorus frogs filled the night sky as I walked along with my beloved toward her home. Broken down, each male frog emitted a total of sixteen separate and distinct notes as part of the creaking door sound they made to attract their mates. I wished it was as easy for me. My vocal range was practically limitless, along with my vocabulary, and yet I could not think of the right words to use that conveyed my feelings for the girl walking beside me.

Bella had made it very obvious tonight that my vampire traits repulsed her. The only ray of hope was the obvious scent of arousal which filled my car when I had given her a smile meant simply to be reassuring. I was a vampire, though; everything about me was designed to be appealing to our prey. The fact that she was physically attracted to me may mean absolutely nothing. Since I had been turned from human to vampire, I had seen the attraction and revulsion that seemed to go hand in hand with every human I came across. The only difference with Bella was her revulsion was more than solely instinct; it was backed by experience.

From what she had said about James, I assumed she was his so-called singer—an aspect of vampire lore I had never been personally exposed to until now. Supposedly, for every vampire there was a specific human who smelled and tasted better than all the rest—a lot better. Emmett had once mentioned coming across a human like that; he had drained her before he even realized what he was doing. Bella being James's singer was the only explanation as to why he would let her smell dictate such an egregious violation of the primary vampire rule. His ability to avoid killing her back then spoke volumes to his control, useful knowledge to have when it came to destroying him.

While I knew Bella was thankfully not my own singer, ever since I realized she was my mate, my body had become more and more attuned to her blood's scent. Without trying, I could detect each minute change brought on by the hormones her body released in response to each of her mood swings. She was in no danger from me; the control I had honed over the past several decades ensured I would not slip up and snack from my girl. Even so, as previously noted, I am a vampire. No matter how much control I have, the better she smells to me, the more the venom is going to flow, and the more pain I am going to feel from the burning in my throat. Her propensity towards extreme blushing only makes it worse. I probably had permanent venom scars on my esophagus from all the reflux she caused me in the car.

What was difficult for me to get used to was that certain amount of venom that went south instead of north when I was near Bella. Arousal was completely new to me; it was both highly enjoyable and frustrating thus far. My biggest concern? This was vampire arousal; we mated hard, deep, and long. Was a human even capable of enduring, much less enjoying, what I would unleash if given permission? Could I be as gentle as she needed me to be? Even Carlisle and Esme sounded like a thunderstorm when they came together, and they were the most gentle vampires I had ever come across. As Rosalie frequently noted, why go soft when hard felt so much better?

How did I explain all this to Bella: my physical need to mate her, drink from her, claim her—my absolute devotion, far more intense than any she would have seen in the human world,my desire to give her the universe on a platter? Could she ever accept the best from someone in whom she associated the worst?

I was not the only one in turmoil. All of her quickly changing reactions showed her feelings traversed a spectrum wider than the chasm between her species and mine. To make the situation even worse, she was as completely confused about how I felt as she was about her own feelings. I latched onto that, knowing it was the only thing I could set straight for her.

How it hurt, though, when she pulled away from me, the rejection slicing straight into the soul she had reawakened. I knew I was a smart-ass, know-it-all, overly dramatic vampire. A lot of baggage to expect anyone to accept, much less a human. Yet this new capacity for feeling intense emotion—love...adoration...devotion—brought out by this girl was quite the revelation to the old Edward who had expected nothing to touch him in this existence. She had changed me, irrevocably changed me, and like any other new creature, I was at my most vulnerable. Yes, I had been gutless in not declaring myself to her sooner; could anyone blame me? Still, it was time...now.

"Bella, I've been a coward, and it's time I stopped. I need to let you know the truth of what I feel for you so there are no misunderstandings. Then, even though I think I know, I hope you'll do the same, so we can see where we stand with each other." I stopped walking underneath a street light hoping she would stay there with me, wanting her to be able to see the truth of my words in my eyes.

She kept walking for a little bit longer but then stopped and looked back. Thankfully, she saw something that prompted her to come back to me.

"Okay, Edward. I'm listening." There was so much emotion in those four words: fear, apprehension, defeat, hope—the last nearly buried among the others. But I could hear it, and it was a lifeline for me.

"All right, here goes nothing. Just to let you know, I am very nervous right now. Nervous vampires are an anomaly, so please bear with me." I drew in a big, useless breath and then started speaking almost too fast for her to follow. "There is nothing in the history of this universe that has ever been loved as intensively as the love I have for you. Never in the eternity that stretches before me will anything ever be as important to me as you are. In the short amount of time we have known each other, my whole world has become solely about you. It's the vampire way; when we mate, it is as heightened as every other aspect of our kind. You, Isabella Swan, are my mate." Finished, I waited for her to respond, hoping she would raise her eyes to mine instead of leaving them aimed at the ground. I barely resisted the urge to hop back and forth like when I was a boy and had to pee.

She went still for a while, almost as still as a vampire. Those expressive eyes of hers never once moved in my direction. After almost a full minute of no reaction, she turned again and started walking, this time back towards my car. At a loss with how I should respond to this reaction, I could only follow and hope she would not leave me hanging for too long.

At first I thought she would stop when she got to the car, but she kept on going.

I noticed her trajectory would lead her towards the car of one of the faculty members and feared she was going to ask for assistance from the teacher, but she continued on by her as well.

There was nothing else left in her path but the woods, and she slowly made her way to them, with me trailing behind.

At the parking lot's edge, under the last light, she stopped for the briefest of moments before stepping onto the narrow strip of grass separating the school property from the neighboring forest. The scent of of tears drifted toward me on the evening breeze, and I could see them glistening in the moonlight on her beautiful face. She continued on, though, resolute on her goal, while my whole body ached for the pain I had apparently put her in with my declaration.

Not stopping when the grass did, she continued on between the trees, and kept going a few hundred feet longer before stopping to lean her back against a large boulder. Still, her eyes were pointed at the ground leaving me clueless as to what could be going through her blocked mind.

"Edward?" she whispered my name as if she was not sure I had followed but then continued on without waiting for me to reply. "I'm here—here in the woods." Her tone almost sounded as if she was talking to herself and not me.

Finally, though, she looked up at me, her eyes holding promises I had been aching for but fearing I would never see. "Before last night, I hadn't been in the woods since the day my mother was killed. Last night, I intended to offer myself as a sacrifice. Tonight, I offer myself to you."

Her words, so simple and heartfelt, made my whole body feel as if it had come alive again. I could feel a smile grow on my face, wider than any that had been there before in this life or my last. Unable to contain myself, I grabbed her hands and brought them to my lips, kissing each one before caressing them to my chest while grinning stupidly at her.

A frown appeared on her own face then, even though she did not try to pull her hands from mine.

"Edward," she said then. "Please, I need to explain better to you." My soul plummeted as I feared what qualifier she was going to place on her earlier statement.

"Look, we met four days ago, and my world has been turned upside down since then. I've had no idea how to deal with the appearance of you and your family in my life. This, combined with feeling that any day now the other one is going to come back for me, has just about pushed me over the edge of the small amount of sanity I had left." Her eyes were locked on mine now as she used them to beg me to pay close attention to everything she said. "I don't know you, Edward. I know, and honestly loathe, what you are. I know I'm attracted to you—who isn't?—but I don't actually truly know you. What I do know is that you have some kind of mystical, eternal love for me, and you want to keep me safe. I don't know why you feel this way, but I can see it in your eyes enough to know its true, and I can trust it. So, I'm going to let you. Call a spade a spade: I am going to use your feelings for me to keep me and my father safe. You can do what you want with me—I'll even be your sex slave if that's what you want—as long as you keep the other away. I can't promise I'll ever love you back; all I can say is that I'll take whatever you have to give."

If I had had a beating heart, it would have stopped right then and there. All of a sudden, the joy I had felt at finding my mate had turned to dread as the ties binding me to her turned from golden silk to iron chains. What if she never felt anything for me? Would an endless existence really be any better spending the rest of her life as her guardian and then alone thereafter?

She was right, though; she did not know me. While I had been stalking her day and night since her first day at school learning more about her every moment, we had in truth only exchanged a minimum of words, and most of hers had been to get me to stop talking to her. Why would she look at me as anything else other than an opportunity?

Bella continued to stare at me as I struggled to come to terms with her _offering. _She looked worried, but resolute. She was not going to coddle me with false promises of everlasting love. She had put her cards on the table, and it was up to me now to continue playing, or to fold and walk away. I decided to play. After all, there was still one part of me that had pretty much stopped listening after "sex slave" and gone off into several fantasies, each a bit more explicit than the one before as I opened myself up to a world I had never before shown interest in.

Taking the hands I still held in my left hand, I moved closer to her and brought her arms up over her head while resting my right on the rock beside her face. Much as I thought, there was not the slightest glimmer of fear in her expression. I saw anticipation, some resignation, but no fear. She knew all right, she damn well knew I would never hurt her. How she could so easily accept the totality of vampire mating when she had never experienced it before was beyond me—but she knew. And, there was freedom in that.

About to see exactly how far she was willing to take this, I could only thank whatever misbegotten guardian angel had been assigned to me that my senses returned before I started licking that pulsing spot on her neck . Bella had said she did not know me. Trusting I would never hurt her was not the same as knowing I would not take advantage of her, push her into doing something she did not want, or take in trade what should only be given in love. If I ever wanted that love, I'd have to earn it, and this was not the way. All that southward flowing venom was obviously depriving my brain of what it needed to think intelligently.

I released her and stepped back, prepared to walk her back to the car and take her home. She bent forward at the waist then and grabbed the hand that had just pinned hers against the stone. She pulled me back towards her until our chests touched, and her heart beat a quick rhythm against my own unresponsive muscle.

Confused as to what she wanted from me, I let her lead. Again, she tilted her head back and looked up at me, a new expression joining the others on her face—longing. It was then the scent I had smelled earlier in the car surrounded me: her arousal, her wanting of me.

A strange smirk appeared on her face. "Like I said, I'm attracted to you."

The seldom seen sight of a vampire gaping in confusion was on display for anyone who cared to notice right at that moment. My often lauded, by me, superior intellect felt no better than that of a two year old at the moment as I tried to process what Bella was trying to tell me. _She didn't love me, but she trusted me to keep her safe. She hated what I was, but this seemingly sweet, innocent girl wanted to have sex with me anyway as payment for services rendered and a bit of fun on the side. _I wanted to ask the frogs if I was the only one confused here.

"Bella, I'll just say it; I'm confused." She continued to hold my hand but the smirk melted away into a grimace, and she hunched her body into herself like she wanted to disappear.

"I'm sorry. You probably think I'm a freak," she muttered. "I know I'm coming across like a slut; I don't know what's going on with me. It's like I have no control when it comes to you, and I'm sick of trying."

She dropped my hand then and wrapped her arms around her body as if to keep herself from shattering. Her eyes no longer met mine but studied the ground as if the meaning to life could be found there.

"I just want, well..." She shrugged her shoulders and briefly darted her eyes up to mine before dropping them again. "I want you to make me feel good; make me forget. That's all." Her eyes came up to mine again, moist with tears.

I was without words.

Reaching my arms around her, I fitted her up against me allowing her to feel the strong and unyielding body I had to offer for her protection. I sniffed her hair, going beyond the strawberry shampoo to the scent that was uniquely her own. Bringing one hand back between us, I gently placed my fingers on her chin to tilt her head up a bit. Her lips were within a tongue swipe of my own, and I felt an incredible elation move through my body at the thought of our mouths meeting. It was as if the venom traveling through me was bubbling like champagne.

As softly as I could, I touched my mouth to hers, simultaneously undone by the taste of her while dreading the reaction she might have to my cold, hard mouth meeting her warm one. Expecting the worst, I was unprepared for the sudden intake of breath she took before wrapping her arms around my neck and bringing her body as close to mine as possible. Her fingers started to weave themselves into my hair as Bella took over the kiss and drew our mouths open so our tongues could meet.

I brought us closer together still when I surrounded her with my own arms and placed my hands on her delectable rear end while shamelessly grinding my pelvis into hers. Moans started to come out of her mouth as it moved against my own, and the most glorious smell I had ever experienced poured from her pores: arousal...want...need. It went straight to my own core, and I felt myself harden and lengthen against her body.

Badly, so badly, I wanted to sink my teeth into her neck—not to drink but to mark and claim her as my own. I was not previously aware that I would have this urge; I knew of no other vampire / human couples and vampire mates did not claim each other that way. In the heat of the moment, I barely refrained from doing such violence on her person. Given the difficulty I had in doing so, I fervently hoped the urge would not grow any stronger.

Minutes passed yet we made no move to pull apart, other than the small breaths Bella was forced to take from time to time. I was staggered by how different it felt to touch my Bella than any other being. Even with all the minds I had visited, I was completely unprepared for how it felt to finally hold her. I imagined hundreds of new neural pathways forming in my brain for each inch of her I touched, allowing all the new sensations to flood my body in a perfect storm. Actual love making would be a revelation beyond belief.

The vibration of a cell phone startled both Bella and myself out of our enthusiastic enjoyment of each other. She gave me a shy glance before removing the offending object from her pocket to see who was trying to reach her. Barely, I managed to refrain from seeing if I could hit the moon with the cock-blocking phone.

Her face looked quite surprised.

"Did you realize it was after eleven? My dad's a bit freaked that I'm not home yet." Her voice was quiet, as if she was even more shy of me now than before we kissed. I loved her but had yet to even begin understanding her.

"I'm sorry, love. I'll get you right home. Are you okay? I mean, with everything here?" I was feeling very insecure; nothing I had felt before came close to equaling the feeling of our kiss, but I was still afraid she was going to regret our actions regardless of how much she seemed to enjoy while in the moment.

Her answering smile was as shy as it was beautiful. "Yeah, I'm okay—more than okay." Really, she would have taken every breath I had away if such a thing were possible.

We started heading back towards the car, and I could not help but feel a bit of cocky pride when Bella seemed extra unsure on her feet. Feeling ever the gentleman, I swept her up into my arms bridal style and carried her back. I only wished she could feel my heart beat for her while she snuggled up to my chest. Still, ever the shy one, she blushed the whole time I walked to the car and refused to meet my gaze. I would have felt my action was unwanted except for the fingers that played with the nape of my neck the entire time. _Bliss_.

There were many humans still out and about listening to the frogs. Everyone had quieted down quite a bit allowing the music from the little amphibians to really fill the night, and I supposed a frog song was a fitting _our song_ to such an unusual relationship. Nothing on the radio would come close to describing it. I resolved to come back after bringing Bella home and make a recording of this night's music to give my love on a later date. _That is something a properly romantic human would do, right?_

Gently placing my Bella into the car, I softly shut the door and then gently leaned myself on it allowing my eyes to close for a moment while I mouthed a silent "thank you" to the night. For once, I felt blessed instead of forsaken.

**A/N: Thanks for reading! Hope you liked it - I love and reply to all reviews :) I will update asap but do have my one shot for Fandom Against Juvenile Diabetes to get out. If you would like to read the story I wrote for the Texas Wildfires compilation, it is now up on my profile - Come One, Come All. See you soon!**


	10. Chapter 10

**~ Leah ~**

Jake was such a fucking cocksucker, and I was ready to rip his stupid tail off and shove it right the fuck down his throat. Ever since he met that little priss, Bella Swan, he'd been making asinine comparisons between the two of us, and I always came up short.

_Bella is nicer to me than my own imprint._

_Bella likes to fix cars; Leah could care less about what's important to me._

_I get along with Bella a lot better than I do with Leah._

_Leah thinks she's got it so bad; Bella's mother was killed by a vampire but she can still be friendly._

I knew I wasn't little miss sunshine, but what was it about this Bella that he was always comparing the two of us? There were plenty of friendly girls right here on the reservation, and he never had thoughts of them in his head. Why her? She was like bait for supernatural creatures; first Jake, and now the pompous ass from the Cullen coven.

This imprint situation had me tied up in knots, and all I wanted to do was run away from it. Jake and I simply didn't fit together. He was immature and annoying. Yet, thanks to the imprint, I felt a continuous need to be near him. When were were apart it was almost painful, like having a piece of myself missing. When we were together I felt whole, but all he did was annoy me and make me wish he'd go away. And the sex! I wanted to punch my fist through a wall every time I felt myself aroused by him. It was entirely involuntary as there was nothing about him I found attractive; yet I wanted him inside me all the time.

It was Sam I truly loved. Sam, our alpha and the man I was with before this whole wolf situation started. We'd been together since freshman year, and then one day he simply didn't want me anymore but wanted my cousin Emily instead. He couldn't explain it, and he didn't even try to stay away from her, even after she got mauled by a "bear" and became disfigured. It wasn't like turning into a wolf wasn't enough of a shock for me, then I got the joy of finding out about the imprint thing, that Sam was the one who destroyed my cousin's face, and no matter how much I wanted to be with Sam, I was stuck with Jake which would never change.

The awful part was Jake didn't want to be with me any more than I wanted to be with him. For every thing I hated about him, there was something he hated about me.

I was still in love with my ex-boyfriend.

I swore all the time.

I was two years older than him.

Now that Bella had entered the picture, things had gotten even worse. My wolf self—I can only assume it is the wolf since I have more sense—sees her as a threat to the imprint and wants to eliminate her. My human self feels ridiculous for caring since I don't even like Jake. And, from what I had seen of his memories, she didn't have any feelings for him, either. She was vampire bait anyway; that asshole vamp could talk all he wanted about keeping her safe. Was such a thing really possible? The pack was still up in arms over how to handle that issue. If she was knowingly friends with a vampire, she deserved what she got. She should know better after what happened to her mother. _Ugh, I hate myself so much when I think this way._

I had been walking along the beach while reflecting on all this shit, taking some time to myself in human form for once so my thoughts weren't public knowledge, venting all my frustrations on the rocks I threw several yards out into the ocean. Not for the first time I wished I had someone to share these feelings with. There was no one else that could truly understand what I was going through. My mother had an idea, but as a full human, even she had no way of knowing just how strong the imprint bond was and how it felt. Emily used to be my best friend; ever since Sam dumped me for her, it was now too awkward to confide in her like I used to. I lost more than my fiance when he imprinted on her.

Being the only female in the La Push wolf pack was something I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy. I was a mutant, a freak, and the fucked up imprint only confirmed that. I had never wanted anything extravagant, only to marry Sam and maybe pop out a kid or two and live happily ever after, forcing tribal knowledge down their throat while bemoaning Res life to Sam out of their ear shot. Now I didn't even know if I could have kids. Jake and I had been fucking every few days for months now, and there was nothing. Since I turned wolf, I hadn't had a single period, and my body was barely different from a guy's now that I was all muscular and shit from the wolf gene. Jake wondered why I wouldn't fuck him human; a big part of it was me not wanting him to see me naked. He could blab all he wanted about liking athletic girls. I had a more defined six pack than Sam, for fuck's sake, since I wasn't gorging at Emily's table 24 / 7 like he did. I'm sure I'd deflate the hard-on of any heterosexual guy within seconds once he saw all my muscles and lack of curves.

Really, though, I was sick of having these thoughts in my head all the time. This moment of privacy meant nothing, since the pack had heard everything before. Every day, over and over, I couldn't keep from bemoaning the same old shit. I needed something to change, or I was going to sink into a depression I would never recover from.

Walking along the beach should have been soothing. There was a storm not too far off the coast which made the wild waves beautiful to look at. The sun was setting, casting hues of purple and orange all across the lightly clouded sky. For once it wasn't raining, and the little Chorus frogs were out loud and proud. Yet, while I did notice all of this beauty, it couldn't touch the darkness I felt inside. Giving up on the beach, I headed into the woods instead, figuring the gloominess in there would better suit my mood.

Bored with the slow pace I was restricted to in human form, I decided to turn wolf and go for a run. Running full out was the only time I could keep my mind empty as my concentration was entirely focused on dodging trees and shit.

I decided to head north, over our borders and into no man's land. I rarely got enough hours to myself for a long run, but Sam took pity on me and made some schedule changes so I could—as he put it—get my shit together. He was so empathetic—_asshole_.

The trees flew by in a blur as I ran at top speed to nowhere. Running was the only saving grace with this whole wolf thing. There wasn't a human experience that even came close. Yes, sex with Sam had been great—a different kind of great. This...this was freedom from absolutely everything—it was perfect.

Lost in the run, it was like a smack in the face with a pile of burning sewage when I came across a horrendous odor in my path. Vampire. Multiple vampires by the extent of it. Alone, I was no match for more than one blood-sucker at a time which meant I had to fight the urge to immediately tear into them.

_Leah, what's going on? There are vampires near you?_

Sam, he was patrolling with Jake and my brother, Seth right now, taking my usual spot.

_Yeah, Sam. Three near as I can tell._

_Woo hoo! Time for some action, boys!_

_Can it, Jake. Leah, turn in a circle, so I can see where you are._

Feeling only mildly stupid, and slightly grateful that I wasn't alone, I turned around looking all over to give Sam as much information as possible.

_All right, Leah. I've been there before. I'm going to have the rest of the pack phase, and then we'll come running. Try to get an idea of what they're doing._

_Yeah, Sam. Okay. I'll be here._

I cocked my head in the direction of the stench, hoping I could hear them without getting any closer. I didn't smell any better to them than they did to me, and I didn't want them getting curious about the assault on their senses.

"Victoria, I am dead tired of arguing this with you. I've waited long enough to drain this female. She's at the perfect age when the blood is most ripe; I'm not going to let another day go by without tasting her." The speaker sounded male and very irritated.

"Fine, James. Go after your human female while Laurent and I hang out here in these super exciting woods. It's not like we weren't having a perfectly great time down in New Orleans mingling with the cattle there and drinking whenever we wanted. You're right; this is so much better." I was surprised that a vampire had it in her to be sarcastic; I figured that would be beneath them.

The third one started to talk—he must be the one the female called Laurent. "Now, now. Victoria, you and I can wait. I'm sure it won't take James very long to go get this girl. James, are you planning to drain her all at once or make a pet of her for a bit? You went through all this trouble, seems a shame to only get one meal out of it."

_Whoa, what the fuck? We're going to have to make sure we get these leeches._

_Quiet, Jake, I'm trying to listen!_

The evil chuckle following Laurent's question made my hair stand up on end. This did not seem like regular tick behavior from what our legends told us. They drank from a human till the human was dead. What was this about making her a pet?

"Well, now, Laurent. That's a very good question. A fine test of my control if I can drink only so much and then keep her alive for future feedings. Making a pet of her would certainly make this all very more interesting. I've always wondered what it would be like to fuck my food while drinking; maybe if this girl turns out to be halfway attractive, I'll give it a try."

_Leah, make sure you're nowhere near those fuckers. I'm getting there as fast as I can._

Wow, Sam actually sounded like he was worried about me. That only pissed me off. If he couldn't love me, I didn't want him to have any feelings for me at all.

_Now you care, Sam? Bit too late, don't you think?_

_Leah! What the fuck!_

Jake. Great. He got pissed whenever I snapped at Sam, but we didn't have time for this now. I was no better and needed to nip the sniping in the bud.

_Sorry, Sam. Sorry, Jake._

And around and around we go.

Violent snarls echoed off the trees after James's last statement. Sounded like the female. She must not want this James creature doing his food. Vampires were so fucking sick; you didn't see any of us out in the pasture humping cows before slaughtering them.

"Victoria, give it a rest; obviously this is simply an experiment and does not mean anything. Don't make the mistake of trying to control me. I'll fuck who I want, when I want, and there's nothing you can do about it. Never forget—you may be mated to me, but I feel no such bond to you. I keep you around because your pussy and ass are tight, feel good, and are convenient. That's all."

Wow, the vampire female seemed in an even worse bonding nightmare than I was. Too bad she was a blood sucking fiend; we could've formed a club or something.

"Now both of you go off and do whatever. I'm going to find Isabella Swan, do whatever the fuck I want with her, and then we'll meet up at our place. Maybe she'll be with me, maybe she won't. Either way, I expect no shit from either of you."

Holy-fucking-shit! He was going after Bella Swan? The fucking bitch that had made my already rotten world even worse? Fuck, I knew this made me a horrible person...wolf...whatever, but—did I want to stop this? Heck, he may not even kill her; maybe being a vampire pet isn't all that bad. _Ah, shit, I'm fooling myself. I can't let this happen. Oh, I want to, though. I so want to!_

_What the fuck? Leah! How can you think that? He's going after Bella? No! I'll rip him to pieces so fucking small there won't even be enough for a fire._

_Jake, can it. Leah, get your head on straight. Bella is a human in our territory; we will not let this blood-sucker have her no matter how difficult you think she's made your life._

_Get the fuck out of my head, guys! I can't control every single fucking thought. Just get here already, and help me deal with this._

This mind meld thing was the biggest problem in all of this. I wasn't a sadistic monster, and neither were Jake and Sam. All the thoughts Sam had of Emily or Jake had of Bella...or that I had of Sam, for that matter...were completely unintentional and uncontrollable. The mind communication tool had been a minor annoyance for the pack before I had joined. Since then, it was the source of an incredible amount of hurt and frustration. Only in an instance like this did it come in handy.

I had to get my mind off of our lame love triangle—or maybe it was a tetrahedron—and focus on the vampire situation.

"Please, James, one more time before you go?" I heard the female beg.

"Why, Victoria, you little hussy you, right here in front of friend Laurent? Well, if you insist, I'm game. Pull your pants down and bend over."

Great—on top of everything else, I had to be exposed to vampire porn. Victoria said nothing; all I heard was the sound of clothes being moved and then skin slapping skin.

"Sweetie? Why don't you let Laurent fuck your face while you're bent over nice like this. I'd really enjoy watching that."

My brain was going to need bleach after this; the noises that filled the forest were so obscene. I had a feeling Victoria could literally suck a golf ball through a garden hose.

_You taking notes, Leah?_

_Fuck you, Jake! Go get your precious Bella to suck you off, 'cause I certainly ain't putting your dick in my mouth._

I tried to take the high road and be the mature one, I really did. But when Jake put his infantile mind on display like that, I couldn't help getting pissed off.

It seemed that neither James nor Laurent had much staying power since they finished right quick; they didn't seem too concerned with Victoria's enjoyment, either, so I had the added joy of hearing her finish herself off. She sounded like a pack of mating cats on helium.

Abruptly, the scent of the vampires was down by two-thirds after a quick good bye to James from Laurent and Victoria. I mentally rubbed my hands together with glee; now that it was one-on-one, I could take him. The rest of the pack could follow the other two.

_Leah, you hold up and wait for the rest of us! You've never fought a vampire before—none of us have. We need to do this together._

_Sam, the legends clearly say that we can handle them when we're evenly matched. Let me get him!_

_No, that's an absolute no. You stay right where you are. Don't move._

_What the fuck, Sam! You have to at least let me move!_

_Shit, sorry! Forgot. You can move; just don't go after the leech._

Why I spent so much time pining over that idiot is beyond me. He knew damn well if he gave an order we were physically unable to disobey it. I would have been a sitting duck here if he hadn't taken that back. He was fat, too.

_Thanks, Leah._

Shit.

I kept tabs on the leech but made sure to keep some distance between us. He was ambling towards town, in no apparent rush. He had seemed very enthusiastic only moments before; I didn't trust his dawdling now.

"What the fuck is that horrible smell? I'm going to kill it, whatever it is."

Shit! The wind had shifted and blew my scent right to him. He was coming after me now.

_Leah, what the fuck was that?_

_Oh, shit._

_Calm down, guys, I can outrun this thing if I need to. I'll lead him back towards you guys._

_All right, Leah. Sounds like a plan. Get going._

I was the fastest runner in the pack, and I put that to good use now as I headed towards the rest of the wolves. The vampire was following me but losing ground. Still, my scent would be easy enough for him to track. I put on even more speed so I'd get to the pack with enough time to turn tail and right with the group.

_Go, Leah, looks like there's still a good 25 miles before we meet up. We'll be there as soon as we can._

_I'm going!_

Fucktard.

I kept running and running, but then, all of a sudden, I had gone too far. The vampire smell was gone. Shit! He must have decided the stench wasn't interesting enough to keep him from his pursuit of Bella.

_Allright, Leah, see if you can catch his scent again. We'll keep heading towards you._

I doubled back and ran to where I had last remembered scenting him, but there was nothing there. It was like he'd fucking vanished. Heading over to where the three had been talking, I could pick up a faint trace of the other two but nothing of the one planning to go after Bella.

_Leah, are you fucking sure? You better not be letting him go!_

_Jake, fuck off! He's really gone. I don't know how, but it's not my fault. It's like he turned off his scent or something._

_Jake, Leah, enough. Leah, we'll be there soon then we'll split up and track them all. We need to know where their place is._

_Yeah, yeah. I'm not going anywhere. Just get your fuzzy asses here fast._

_You're ass is just as fuzzy, Leah!_

_Seth! You're my brother; don't look at my ass._

_Made you laugh._

That brother of mine—if it wasn't for him, I'd be even more miserable than I was.

I continued to search for James's scent in the immediate area while I waited for the pack. My mind was moving a mile a minute after all I had heard this evening. Exactly how did this James vampire know about Bella anyway? Was he the one who killed Bella's mother? He must have left Bella alive for, it seemed, the sole purpose of coming back for her later? That didn't make any sense. Why bother? Wouldn't all the humans be the same to them? It seemed our legends left a bit out when it came to these creatures we were supposed to be hunting.

After a good half hour, I had given up on finding James's scent again. I couldn't help but wonder if I had subconsciously let him get away as Jake accused. Was I capable of such horribleness? Thankfully, the pack arrived before I could think on that much longer. I was afraid of the answer.

_Leah, you did all you could. Maybe this blood-sucker has some kind of talent for erasing scent or something. Remember, we were told some of them can do more things than others._

_Thanks, Sam. I thought for sure he wouldn't be able to resist the chase. Vampires are supposed to get off on that and all with the whole prey thing._

_Yeah, well, right now we need to focus on keeping Bella safe and finding those other two. Leah, Seth, and Jake, I want you three to follow the scent of the two that ran off. Don't attack; find the lair and then call for back-up. We'll need a group in place in case this James fucker actually gets Bella. The rest of us will go back to Forks to work on guarding her._

_Sam, let me go to Forks, too. Paul can go with Leah and Seth. Bella's a good kid; I want to make sure she'll be okay._

_No, Jake, I don't know what's up with you and her given that you have an imprint, but it's too personal for you. I don't want either you or Leah anywhere near her until this is over._

_Jake, I agree with Sam. Please come with me to find the others? I'll admit it, I'm a bit freaked over what I felt when I heard what the leech said about Bella. You and I are stuck with each other; please don't choose her over me._

_Why, Leah? What do you care? Wouldn't you choose Sam over me if you could?_

_I honestly don't know. Even so, Sam and I have a history that you and Bella don't have, and Bella isn't a part of our tribe. She's not part of our world, Jake._

_Well, maybe I don't want to be part of our world, either! I didn't choose this, and I didn't choose you._

_Jake, be careful; there's no filter right now while we're wolf. Control, Jake. She's your imprint. Regardless, I said you're going after the other two, and that's final. Now go. The rest of us are heading to Forks to set up patrol around Bella._

_Fine, Sam. Whatever._

I watched Jake, my imprint, spin around and run off following the scent. He somehow showed he was pouting, even in animal form. I had tried to be mature, to talk to him instead of at him, but it did me no good. I wanted to hate him, but how could I when I felt exactly the same way he did? Tears turned cold on my fur as I ran after my mate.

**A/N: Thanks again to SaritaDreaming for Beta work and KatsFlowerGirls for pre-reading. They helped tons with this chapter! As always, Stephanie Meyer owns the characters and I'd love to hear what you think :)**


	11. Chapter 11

**~ Bella ~**

_So Fellas (yeah) Fellas(yeah)  
>Has your girlfriend got the butt (hell yeah)<br>Well shake it, shake it, shake it, shake it, shake that healthy butt  
>Baby got back <em>

_Son of a misbegotten diseased monkey's whore, what the fuck is that? _

As my eyes opened and the lyrics sank into my brain, I wondered why on earth any DJ worth his paycheck would think Sir Mix-A-Lot was a good choice for 5:30 am on a Monday. That song was going to be stuck in my head for hours now.

Reaching over to punch the alarm clock, a chuckle from the corner of my room had me picking it up and throwing it instead, while I scrambled to get upright on the bed and scoot into the corner.

Scanning the room, my eyes finally landed on Edward. _Right, forgot he was spending the night._

He held my radio in his hand, the expression on his face contrite at the realization of how much he scared me.

"Um, hi," I mumbled, embarrassed. "Sorry about that. Hope I didn't like, well, I guess there's nothing that little radio would have done to you, other than maybe offend your musical sensibilities."

Smiling, he assured me he was fine. "It's all right Bella; I apologize for startling you. I should've realized you'd be slow to remember first thing in the morning."

"Okay. I'm, uh, going to go use, well, you know, the other room." It was embarrassing to mention a toilet to the gorgeous man in front of me, who was so perfect his body didn't produce excrement.

He walked over and drew me into a light hug. I held myself stiff for a moment, again uncomfortable with his cold, hard body, but then felt myself relax into his embrace. After the night we had spent, it was easier now.

"Bella, its okay. Really. I know this will take some time getting used to. I'm going to head home now and get ready for school. I'll be back to pick you up in a bit. Alice and Jasper are outside keeping an eye on things. You need anything, anything at all, you can whisper their names, and they'll hear."

"Great, does that mean they'll hear me shower and well, other stuff, too?" I wondered, not quite ready to get used to the idea of super-hearing vampire bodyguards.

"Don't worry. They hear humans use the facilities at school all the time. I promise you won't shock them."

_Ha ha._

"Go then," I replied. "Just come back soon so you can relieve the guard. I haven't even really met them yet."

"Do you want me to introduce you before I go?"

"No!" I shouted, before I remembered they could hear me. "Fuck, they heard that didn't they? Probably think I'm a rude bitch. Sorry down there!" I called down hoping they'd not think too badly of me.

"I'm not a morning person. Let me go take my shower and grab something to eat. I promise I'll be better by the time you get back."

"Okay, love." He gave me a quick kiss on the nose that I barely avoided flinching from. At least I thought I did until I saw his eyes sadden a bit. He was gorgeous, and I was incredibly attracted to him; what was my problem this morning? I blushed when I thought of the things we'd done last night; I certainly didn't flinch then.

As gentle as a whisper, he nudged my chin up with his hand to look me in the eye. "Bella, I can practically see the wheels turning in your mind for all that it is silent to me. Stop beating yourself up; I understand its going to take time for you to be completely at ease. We'll get there; I'm sure of it."

I could finally smile at him, happy to be understood and have his patience.

He gave the barest little swipe of his thumb on my chin, the tiniest caress possible, before leaping out the window. I heard nothing of his landing or departure, but I swore I could feel when he was no longer close. It was like an invisible cape of protection had been removed from my body. Even knowing there were now two vampires watching over me instead of one, it was not the same.

I headed into the bathroom, used the toilet as silently as possible, and then got in the shower. As I washed my body, I remembered Edward's hands on me during the night. The memories heated up my skin so much, I had to turn down the the water.

He'd driven me home, and after pulling in the driveway, let me know he'd be staying outside to keep watch. By then, my mind had been tired from all the discussion and life altering revelations; I could only mumble a "thank you" before heading in the house and up to my room. Thankfully, Charlie had already gone to bed, though I'm sure he'd been keeping an ear out for my arrival from his room. I whispered a quick, "'Night, Dad," on my way by and heard his answering grunt in return.

Once in my room, I checked out my window and saw Edward's car was gone. Thankful he had the foresight to remove it from the driveway so my dad wouldn't see if he got up during the night, I sat on the bed to try and relax enough for asleep.

It was funny; my room was nice and warm, and I knew from experience how cold Edward's skin felt. Yet now that he wasn't with me, I felt colder than I had in his arms. All night, as much as I'd ended up enjoying myself with Edward, a small part of me had looked forward to being alone in my room again. Now that I was here, all I wanted was Edward back.

I went to the window again and looked out, wondering if I'd be able to see him. My eyes scanned the ground below, but, of course, I saw nothing. I turned to head back to bed when a flash of white caught my eye. Edward was in the tree outside of my window, sitting there looking quite comfortable with a smile on his face as he watched me.

Opening the window, I knelt on the floor and rested my arms on the sill. Even knowing he could hear me, I stayed silent, only wanting to look at him. He was beautiful, and he made me feel safe. Laying my head on my arms, angling my body so he was still in my sight, I had made myself as comfortable as I could, prepared to spend the night there watching him.

He gestured with his hand from himself to me, silently asking if I wanted him to come in. I thought about it, thought about all that implied, all we could do, and ended up blushing as I nodded my assent.

Before I could move, he'd leaped from the tree to the window, still outside, clinging to the frame like a monkey. 

"Hi," he whispered, smiling softly at me.

"Hey."

I sat back on my heels, giving him room to come in. Graceful as a tiger, he jumped lightly to the floor, crouching in front of me.

I'd turned the light on in my room when I came in, and now I realized this was my first opportunity to really look at him up close. He was, in a word, perfect. There was nothing that could be improved upon. No hair other than the riotous, golden copper on his head could better suit his amber eyes, strong jaw, and straight, Roman nose. Looking at him, I could feel my body responding to his perfection and to the way he was looking at me in return. It was as if he thought I was every bit as perfect as he was. Yet I knew there was one big difference in our gazes, while mine may contain appreciation and lust, his held love. It saddened me that I didn't know if I'd ever be able to look at him that way.

Already incredibly attuned to my moods, he moved till he was sitting beside me, picking up my hand and lightly rubbing it with his thumb.

"Bella, I know it's not the same for you. I understand, and I'll be patient. I promise."

I didn't know if his patience would do him any good; it's not as though if he waited long enough he'd turn back into a human, but I resolved to tamp down my concerns for once and enjoy what I had in front of me instead of worrying.

I maneuvered myself into his lap, bracing myself for the coldness of his skin, feeling the revulsion at first before it faded away into heat and desire. Straddling him, I wound my arms behind his neck and brought my lips to his, kissing him with everything I had, hoping he could find meaning that I was unaware of.

Our tongues swept against each other, the heat from mine warming his. I felt his hands settle on my waist under my shirt, the cooling sensation actually feeling nice for once, given how worked up I was getting.

Unable to stop myself, uncaring that I was acting like a slut, I ground my pelvis against his, wanting to feel proof that I aroused him as much as he did me. It was with quite a bit of shock when I realized exactly how large that evidence was. I'd heard all about bigger being better, but this seemed a bit extreme if we ever planned to actually come together that way.

"Edward, is that really you?"

He laughed, "Yes, Bella, its me. No worries—it won't bite."

"I'm not worried about it biting, you imbecile," I retorted, a little pissed he thought I was scared. "I'm worried about it fitting."

He raised an eyebrow at me, smirking a bit as I realized what I said. My telltale blush heated me up even more when I replayed the words in my head. Rudeness aside, I'd basically told him I wanted to have sex with him. He'd be doubting I was an actual virgin soon.

"I'm sorry, Bella," he chuckled, trying to be serious but failing miserably. "Oh, you make me laugh. It's good laughter, though, I promise—it's only because you make me so happy."

I ducked my head to his chest, flaming with embarrassment, and not wanting him to see me. His arms went all the way around me, and his chin came to rest on my head.

"Don't be shy on me now. And, I promise, we'll fit. It's exactly the same size it was when I was human. Believe me, I measured."

"Length and circumference?" I blurted out, blushing again at discussing penile geometry with him.

He burst out laughing, and it was a moment before he could answer. "Well, okay, I didn't check the actual diameter of the thing. It's standard size, though. I promise."

"Standard, my ass," I mumbled, and then blushed even harder when the inevitable image of him in that part of my anatomy entered my head.

"Bella, Bella, calm down or you're going to combust!"

Giving up on the whole talking thing, I raised my head back to his and grabbed his lower lip with my teeth. That was much more fun.

As we kissed, his hands started traveling up and down my back, each path growing firmer than the one before. The feel of his cold body against my hot one brought back a memory that had been forgotten until now.

One time, back when my mom was still alive, my dad had won a trip to a ski resort. They had an outdoor hot tub and we'd love to go soak in it at the end of a cold day. My mom had always been crazy, and on this particular day, my dad and I could both see when one of her harebrained ideas lit up her face. Exchanging glances, we could only wait in anticipation to see what she'd come up with now.

All of a sudden, she'd jumped up from the hot tub and scooted as fast as she could down the ladder and then did a running jump into the snow. She screamed and laughed, falling back and making snow angels. I looked at my dad and he only shrugged before grabbing my hand and tugging me out to join her. I'll never forget the feeling of the cold snow on my hot skin. My body had never felt more alive, more vibrant. That's how Edward was making me feel now, but to a much higher degree.

Remembering my mom, I had to stop kissing Edward for a moment, and work on keeping the sobs at bay. What would she think of me now if she saw what I was doing? Straddling the lap of—what do I even call him? Not a man, not a boy, I'd have to get used to it—straddling the lap of this vampire.

I moved away from Edward, ashamed of my actions when seeing them through my mother's eyes. He tried to hold me close, trying to comfort me, but I only wanted to be away from him. I tried to push him, shove him; it was like trying to move a building. Finally, he realized the panic starting to set in and let me go, sliding back on his rear and then jumping to his feet. Faster than I could see, he was apart from me, standing in the corner at the other end of the room.

Immediately, my body missed his touch, while my mind was grateful for the moment to think again. Edward was looking at me with incredible compassion and understanding; I felt awful for pushing him away again.

"I'm sorry, Edward!" I cried. "I don't know what happened; I was enjoying everything so much, and then I started thinking of my mom, and then I thought of her watching me with you, and I just lost it. I know that sounds awful and sick to imagine my mom watching us; I'm so fucked up. You should just go, find someone else to mate with. I'm no good for you."

I couldn't hold it in anymore and buried my face in my hands while I sobbed.

"Bella, are you okay? What's going on. I heard you talking. Is someone in there?"

_Fuck!_ My dad. He was at the door, not opening it yet, but I'm sure he would any moment.

I looked in the corner, but Edward was gone; he must have heard my dad before I did.

I jumped up and ran to the door, opening it and letting my dad see my tear streaked face.

"I'm sorry I woke you, Dad. It was a dream; I must have been talking in my sleep again. I'm okay."

"You sure? You want to go downstairs and talk a bit? Have some water or warm milk?"

"No, Dad, I'm fine. I'm going to try getting back to sleep. I'm really sorry."

My dad smiled at me. "Its all right Bella; I don't mind checking in on you."

"Thanks, Dad. Go back to sleep now. You've got the early shift tomorrow."

"All right, sweetie. 'Night." I watched him stumble-walk back down the hallway, obviously still half asleep.

Once he was back in his room, I shut my door and turned around, checking to see if Edward had come back yet. He was in the opposite corner this time, still as far from me as possible in the small room, holding his forefinger in front of his lips to let me know my dad was still focused on my room.

We stayed in our spots, silently staring at each other, as we waited for my dad to settle back down. Finally, Edward dropped his hand and whispered that he'd gone back to sleep.

I got up from the floor and went over to sit on my bed. This brought me closer to Edward, and when he motioned as if to move away again, I shook my head, letting him know it wasn't necessary.

"I'm all right now. Do you want to come sit?" I moved so my back was against the headboard and my side against the wall. Edward sat next to me, and I leaned onto his shoulder, letting him know I could touch him again, and getting comfort for myself at the same time. He took my hand, holding it in his lap, and waited for me to talk.

"Will there come a time when I can just be with you?" I asked.

He shrugged a bit and said, "I'm not sure. Humans and vampires aren't meant to be together. Your species typically has an innate response to my kind, warning them away. For you to allow me the time we've spent already, is far and above what most humans could tolerate. You, who have the most reason out of anyone to fear me, are actually more comfortable with my presence than any other human I've met."

This didn't sound right to me. I'd seen the way the girls at school looked at him; any one of them would give all they had to be where I was right now.

"Edward, that's not true. You must know all the girls at school want you."

"Sure, they think they do. Some of the guys, too. Yet have you ever seen one actually get close to me? Think of Jessica Stanley—she crushes on me more than nearly any other female there. She's never once attempted to approach me. There's this trick she uses on boys she's interested in. It's ridiculous and simple, but it's worked for her time and again. All she does is pretend to fall and land in the unsuspecting guy's lap."

I laughed; it sounded like something that would happen to me. I'd be mortified; she was crazy to think being klutzy was a way to attract men.

"Then, she just chats them up from her perch on their lap. One or two have born it stoically and waited her out, but most have enjoyed the attention from her.

"Anyway, my point being, and please don't think I'm bragging here, in all the fantasies she's had of me, and there have been many," he groaned, exasperated "she's never once tried her lap trick. She's thought of it a couple times, but then her mind immediately rebels from making the attempt. It's almost like she doesn't even realize."

Thinking back, I realized he was right. In my three days at the school, I'd seen plenty of glances thrown his way, lots of whispers as he walked down the hall, but I'd yet to see a single person approach him other than his own family. Even the teachers seemed to give him, and all the Cullens, a wider berth than normal.

"Does that make you sad? Do you want them to be more comfortable around you?"

"No, we really don't. It would make it that much harder to keep up the illusion. I mean, I guess in a way we do, in the way that we wish were still human, but for what we are, this is fine."

"Why do you do it?" I truly wanted to understand his family's motivation. "Why attend high school at all?"

"It helps our family blend in, allowing us to move freely around the town instead of holed up in our house or the forest. We can go to stores, see movies, spend time at the park, all the things carnivorous vampires don't do. Even though we are only on the fringe of society, for us it's still better than being completely outside of it. When people start to notice we aren't aging, we move to the next location and start over."

"You never form relationships with any of the humans? Am I the first?"

A funny look came over Edward's face before he answered. "Carlisle met his mate while she was a young human girl, happy and full of life. She'd broken her leg falling out of a tree she'd been climbing. When she turned up again at another hospital he worked in, this time with fatal injuries and all alone, he turned her into one of us. It was similar with Emmett and Rose. Jasper and Alice met while vampires. So, the only human relationships we've had are from the brief time Esme and Emmett were human, before being changed."

I thought about this a moment. "Would Carlisle have turned Esme and Emmett if they weren't dying?"

"It's impossible to know; their lives would have been entirely different. When human, Esme had a son who'd died shortly after birth. Esme's husband had been abusive, and she'd left him several months earlier, hiding far from her family. After her son's death, she was incredibly despondent and lonely, causing her to try taking her own life; that's how she ended up in the hospital. If those other events hadn't happened, Carlisle would have never seen her again.

"Oh, Edward, how awful!"

His arms tightened around me, providing comfort.

"Esme will never forget her human son, he's the clearest human memory she still has, but she's grateful at having a second chance, even if it's as a vampire instead of a human. However, I doubt she'd feel the same if she hadn't mated with Carlisle after she turned. They were both lucky."

"What about Emmett?" I asked.

Edward shrugged. "I really don't know; the circumstances were very unusual. By the time Rosalie came across him for the first time, he was already dying. He reminded her of something from her human life, and that's what prompted her to bring him to Carlisle. She didn't realize he was her mate until after he'd turned. If he'd been healthy when she met him? I couldn't say. Rosalie keeps a lot of distance from humans; I'm not sure she would have even noticed him if he hadn't been covered in blood."

I shuddered; that sounded awful, like Emmett could have easily been a meal instead of a mate.

"How does a person get changed?" All of a sudden, I found myself asking questions I wasn't sure I wanted the answers to. In the back of my mind, a part I'd been trying to ignore, I'd been thinking about the implications of being mated to an eternally young entity.

Edward looked out the window for a moment; I wasn't sure if he was gathering his thoughts, or considering not answering the question.

He turned back and searched my eyes with his own. "Bella, can we not talk about that right now? I'll tell you; I promise. Not right now, though, please?" He was begging me to drop it; of course I wouldn't force him to answer me.

"Okay, Edward. I can wait. Only, well, is that what you'll do if something happens to me? Would you change me?" Finally, I asked what I really wanted to know.

He groaned lightly, holding me even tighter, almost to the point of making it difficult for me to breath. "Is that what you would want?"

Did I? Did I want to become one of those creatures? Certainly not, if I had a choice, but if I was dying?

"I'm sorry, Edward. I should have never asked these questions. I don't know what I'd want. Just, keep me safe, okay? So I don't have to decide right now?" I knew I was being a bit unreasonable, putting it all on his shoulders. It wasn't fair to him, but I had no idea how else to respond.

"I swear, with everything that I am, I'll keep you safe," he vowed in the most serious voice I'd heard him use. "If anything happens to you, it will be because I'm already gone."

I shuddered again; the thought of him no longer existing was becoming more and more unbearable with each moment we shared.

"Let's change the subject. So, how will it be tomorrow? For us? Are we going to keep this a secret or what?" I rushed the words out, not wanting to dwell on the other conversation any longer.

"What do you feel comfortable with, Bella?"

I had to think about that. Even before my mom had been killed, I was a quiet kid, not social at all. I spent most my time reading books or making up little stories with my toys. At school, I hung on the fringes, not feeling comfortable with all the kids and their caste system. For the most part, they ignored me, though some could be cruel at times. After my mom died, it was like I'd ceased to exist, like parent death was catchy. And I was fine with that; I did my own thing, got great grades, and bided my time.

If I showed up at Forks High School tomorrow as Edward Cullen's girlfriend, I would be _the _center of attention for a _long_ time. That would be weird and very unwelcome. On the other hand, I was an honest person; the thought of pretending he and I had no connection each time we passed in the halls, were at lunch, or in the one class we shared was distasteful to me as well.

"Will you be able to keep the jackals away from me if we go public?" I asked.

He laughed. "I'll make sure they don't suffocate you."

"I'd really like to know what you think," I said, wanting a bit more input before deciding. "Do you have a preference at all?"

He considered for a moment. "Well, I do have a definite preference. If we pretend to not know each other, I have to keep my distance. If we don't pretend, I get to spend more time with you during the day. The choice is easy for me." He looked at me then a bit askance, knowing that the feelings I had for him simply weren't on the same level as his for me. I knew he didn't say those things to make me feel bad, but this little discussion only highlighted once again how uneven we were. At least, in this instance, I could do it his way; it'd suck, but I could tough it out.

"Couple it is then. We'll set Forks High School ablaze with gossip. Maybe I'll even shove a pillow under my shirt and pretend to be carrying your half human / half vampire progeny." I laughed.

Edward joined me in chuckling, but then his face grew sad all of a sudden.

"Hey, what's wrong? Did I say something I shouldn't?"

"No, no. It's nothing. Don't worry about it," he said, waving one hand a little as if to sweep his expression away.

"Edward, don't do that. Something bothered you. Tell me." I may not feel some kind of supernatural crazy love bond to the guy, but I certainly didn't want to be upsetting him with my moronic remarks, either.

"Children—just a random thought of children. That's all."

Oh.

"Uhm, shit, I don't know what to say. Can you even have kids, Edward?" I asked.

"No, vampires are sterile." He sounded so sad, I hadn't even thought about vampires wanting kids before. It made him seem—almost, well—human.

"You understand, Bella, what that means? I can never give you children. I'm afraid there will come a day when you hate me for that, as if you don't have enough reasons." He muttered the last, running a hand through his hair in agitation.

Honestly, I'd never thought of having children before. Considering I'd spent so much of my life thinking I'd never make it to reproductive age, they'd really never made it onto my radar. I certainly didn't want any now, or in the near future. If I was truly going to live, I was going to college and travel and all sorts of stuff. But could I do those things with Edward?

I looked at him, and my heart did ache for him as he sat there looking very dejected.

I craned my neck a little so I could look him in the eye as I spoke, since his gaze was currently directed at the floor.

"Edward? Look at me." His beautiful amber eyes met mine; they were filled with such sadness. He was my laughing, joking vampire; I needed to fix this. "Let's not worry about this right now, okay? I have no idea how I'll feel in the future; I've never imagined even having a future before, but I know right now, I don't want any children." I offered him a little smirk. "But there is something I'd like to do with you, and you being sterile does alleviate one major concern."

For a moment, it looked like he was going to protest, to want to hash this out some more, but then he smiled, and I could see him making an effort to cheer up.

"No STD's, either; as far as teen sex goes, I'm the safest bet around." He chuckled. It wasn't full Edward strength, but at least it was something.

"Hey, I know I'm crazy and my mood swings are beyond extreme . . . it's only, well, I'm incredibly lucky you're here and that you love me. I'm realizing that now, realizing that what you are doesn't define you. You're kind, beautiful, funny, and strong; what more could I ask for?"

His eyes shifted for a moment then, a bit of sadness and then he shook his head and wiped it away before responding.

"It's I who am lucky to have you."

"Edward, don't do that again—tell me what I said to make you sad?" I didn't like it when he tried to hide things from me.

"No, love. Not sad. It was only an answer to your question that occurred to me, before I realized it went entirely against the gift you were giving, acceptance."

"What occurred to you?"

He closed his eyes, and I felt bad for pushing him, but I wanted to know everything he thought, even the sad things.

"A heart beat," he whispered.

I whispered back, "Mine beats for you. It speeds up when you kiss me, hold me, even when you simply look at me. Those extra beats are all for you."

He pulled me close and hugged me, murmuring, "Thank you," into my ear. I smiled, happy that I'd made him feel good.

We looked at each other for a quiet moment, and I thought maybe I was really seeing him for the first time, seeing him as a person, and not something completely apart from myself.

"Bella, listen though, okay? I want very much to make love to you, too. Not here, not under your father's roof—well, maybe if he wasn't under it at the time." He chuckled a little before continuing. "More importantly, I want to wait until you're more comfortable with me, with my touch." I winced, remembering all the times I'd flinched from him this evening.

"You're right, Edward. For now, lets get back to Bella acclimatization then, shall we?"

His lips met mine, and I didn't flinch.

It was different, making out on the bed. More intense. He scooted us both down until we were lying on our sides, facing each other. Not feeling close enough to him, I shifted myself to lie on top of him. For once, I could appreciate his extra abilities since he was able to keep his head raised off the bed indefinitely while we kissed. I marveled at his taste; he was every bit as yummy as a York Peppermint Patty, cool, sweet and refreshing. As much as sometimes his low temperature skived me out a bit, I was sure he'd pretty much ruined me for ever being with a human.

His hands, tentative at first, firmly planted themselves on my ass and started to massage the muscles there. Lying on him as I was, I could really only curl my arms around his head as we kissed, but he didn't seem to mind.

Our pelvises started moving together as if our lower bodies had decided our earlier intelligent decision was crap.

I could feel every inch of him again; luckily, this time I managed to restrain myself from any ignorant remarks. Knowing that everything I felt was a sign of how much he wanted me, allowed me to really let go and enjoy what we were doing instead of feeling self-conscious and unsure.

I would have liked to have stayed there kissing Edward for hours, feeling his soft silk tongue on mine, his strong hands all over my body, and hearing the moans coming from deep within him. Unfortunately, when I started to yawn mid-kiss, we both had to face the fact that I'd need sleep at some point, even if he didn't.

"Do you want me to stay here with you, Bella?" he asked me.

"Won't you get bored? What do you usually do at night?" I was curious what someone did with an extra eight to ten hours a day.

"Well, play piano, read, listen to music, hunt, lots of things. But, no, I wouldn't be bored staying here with you. I'd never get bored of that. If you'd rather I don't stay in your room, I'll step outside to keep watch."

I had a pretty good idea of how I'd feel if he left, and saw no reason to put myself through that, especially knowing it would be even more so for him. We had a bond that I didn't fully understand yet, but I wasn't going to fight it.

"Stay, please. I'd like you to stay."

"Okay," he said, giving me a sweet caress on my cheek. "I'll stay. Thank you."

I smiled shyly at him before mumbling something about needing to visit another room in the house, and then started to grab my sleeping clothes.

"Hey, are you busy this weekend?"

I looked up from my dresser drawer over to where he still lay. He had a mischievous grin on his face, like he was planning something.

"Noooo, no plans. Why?"

"What do you think of Disneyland?" he asked, grinning like a little kid asking his parents to take him to the fabled mouse's playground.

"Edward, are you serious? Disneyland?"

"Sure," he said. "Why not? The entire coast is supposed to be overcast for the whole weekend. It will be perfect. You can finally meet my family; they'd all love to come. Any chance of sunshine, Alice will see it, and we can simply head into one of the indoor attractions."

"Well, how about the fact it would take us all of Saturday to drive down there and then all of Sunday to drive back? There's no time." I hated to burst his bubble, but it didn't seem like he'd thought this through very well.

"Not to worry, my young human, we have a plane, and we're not afraid to use it."

"A plane!" I squeaked. "You have a plane?" It had been plenty obvious the Cullens were a well to do family, judging by the clothes they wore and Edward's car, but a plane?

"Bella, making money is very easy for a vampire family that contains a mind reader and a psychic. We've been doing it for a long time. Carlisle is also paid a generous salary at the hospital. Surgeons of his caliber frequently enjoy luxuries like private planes. I know it seems ostentatious, but it's something we've found convenient."

I looked at Edward for a moment, sure that I was supposed to have some objection to being whisked away on a private jet to Disneyland at a moment's notice. It sounded incredibly expensive and frivolous, neither characteristic being a part of my life before. I opened my mouth to refuse, to say they shouldn't spend that kind of money and attention on me, but then I closed it. This was a gift, and if he wanted to give it to me, who was I to refuse something that obviously made him excited and happy?

I gave him a thumbs up from where I stood across the room. "Sounds perfect! I've never been, and I'm sure it will be a ton of fun."

He smiled back at me as I gathered the rest of my stuff and headed to the other room.

The bathroom in this house was super small, and the previous owners had seemingly attempted to make it look bigger by putting a gigantic mirror on the wall opposite the door. When I walked in, I almost thought someone else was in there; I looked so different from normal.

My eyes were bright instead of downcast.

My cheeks were red.

My hair was mussed and tousled, like the girls in magazines.

My lips were red and swollen—and smiling!

I had to admit, I liked what I saw. Edward was giving me something far beyond protection; he was literally giving me life. Gone was the zombie girl slinking through her days, hoping if she stayed unnoticed, maybe she could live a little bit longer. Now, I was feeling things I'd never felt before, never dared of dreaming I'd feel: confidence, attraction, fun, lust—_lust—_how amazing to finally be experiencing something that everyone else I knew took for granted.

Grinning to myself, I washed up a bit and changed my clothes as fast as possible, and then practically skipped down the hall to get back to Edward.

With no hesitation at all, I leaped right back on top of him after coming in the room, giving him a big kiss before curling up next to him, our hands joined on top of his chest. His other hand started stroking my hair, and I fell asleep with a smile on my face for the first time since my mom was taken from me.

I'd been on autopilot while getting ready for the day, caught up in memories of the night before. Yes, I'd fucked up when I first woke up, but I'd come so far during the night, I refused to let a minor setback ruin our day. Looking in the mirror now, I still looked happy and freshly kissed. It didn't matter what anyone at school said or how much attention I got. It didn't matter that my house was now going to be surrounded by vampires twenty-four seven. It was time to be truly thankful for this turn my life had taken and enjoy what I'd been given.

My dad had left while I was still sleeping, leaving me a nice note and lunch money. I'm sure he would have been shocked to see me skipping around smiling and humming random cheerful tunes to myself. It occurred to me I was going to need to introduce Edward to him. There was no way he was going to let me go off to California for the weekend without meeting at least Edward, if he didn't demand to meet all the Cullens.

I'd just put some bread in the toaster when I heard a knock at the door. Not even thinking, I reached over and pulled it open, letting Edward in. It wasn't until he'd walked in and closed the door behind him, that I realized what I'd done.

Before, every time there was a knock on the door, expected or unexpected, my heart would race and I'd wonder if this was it—if the James vampire was coming for me, and was, for his own sick reasons, being polite about it.

Now, I knew it was _my_ vampire before I even looked. My increased heart beat was from happiness instead of fear. Unable to constrain myself, I threw myself at him, wrapping my legs around his hips and kissing him with all the joy I felt.

Except, he wasn't kissing me back. His arms were wrapped around me, but they were kind of pulling me from him a bit, as if he wanted me to get down. What had I done wrong? Was he still upset from earlier? I'd hoped my enthusiastic greeting would make him happy.

I released myself from around him and took a step back, my eyes looking at the floor.

"I'm sorry, Edward. I understand if you're pissed from when I woke up," I whispered.

His hand came under my chin to lift my face to his. His expression chilled me to the core; this had nothing to do with this morning. He was all lethal hunter and deadly vampire, yet I could still see the love for me in his eyes, and how much he dreaded telling me what he was about to say.

"He's back, Bella."


	12. Chapter 12

_~**Edward~**_

Leaving my Bella in the morning was incredibly difficult. We'd made such progress during the night; while her small flinch before I left hurt as always, I was still heartened by how far we had come. She was incredibly brave to even agree to spend time with me, knowing all she did. For her to actually want to be with me, and enjoy it for the most part, was a miracle I would never take for granted.

I leapt down from her window, landing softly and listening for a moment until I heard her leave the room. Alice and Jasper were a couple hundred feet into the woods that bordered the edge of the Swan property. They'd found a convenient tree to perch in while they kept watch for me.

Things were much better now between me and my family. Finding my mate, even under the unusual circumstances that existed for us, lightened my load significantly and made me easier to live with. I no longer had to worry that I was destined for eternal lonliness. Now, my destiny was under my control; I would either manage to win Bella's heart, or fail trying.

"Alice, Jasper, I'm going to head back home to get changed. I shouldn't be gone any longer than fifteen minutes. Thank you for keeping watch while I'm gone."

Jasper nodded and while Alice spoke for both of them, "Don't worry, Edward. We'll keep her safe."

"Do you see anything, Alice? Not about what Bella decides, but about her hunter?" I knew she'd tell me if she saw anything, but I couldn't stop myself from asking a few times every day.

Alice looked at me with sympathy, she knew how hard it was for me that the one time I really needed her talent, and my own, neither worked. "I'm sorry, Edward. Ever since you ran into those wolves, you and her have both been blanks. Whatever the future holds, they seem to be an integral part, and my visions are not going to come back until they are no longer involved."

I, all of a sudden, had a fabulous idea. "Okay, I'm going to go kill all the wolves now. What do you see?"

She laughed, "That would only work if you really meant it. Sorry. Still black."

Jasper broke in, "I'll go kill them. No skin off my nose."

Alice's face stilled and her eyes lost focus as happened every time she had a vision. Edward immediately saw it and started snarling.

_Bella huddled in a cage hanging from the ceiling in a cold, rank room. She's naked, and there is a pile of waste below the cage. Shivers constantly rake her emaciated body covered in poorly healed vampire bites. Over and over she begs to the empty room for them to kill her, please kill her._

"No!" I shouted, and then jumped up to the branch they were in and knocked Jasper out of the tree. "Stop! They're killing her!"

I was punching Jasper over and over, he wasn't even trying to defend himself, only waiting for reason to return. Alice screamed for me to stop, telling me the future was black again. I let go of Jasper and fell back onto the ground, shaking and crying tearless sobs. As long as I'd live, that image was going to be forever burned inside of my head. I wanted to reach into my eyes and rip it out, wanted to tear my own head off and throw it to the burning sun, erasing what I saw.

Alice dropped down next to me, and put her arms around my shaking body. She'd seen it too, there was nothing she could say, she could only share the burden with me.

Fighting everything I saw, I replaced each horror laden image with one that was beautiful. Bella; sleeping, telling me she wanted me, kissing me, making me laugh—making her laugh. I had a lot to draw on now; I was very thankful for that.

Sitting back on my haunches, I looked over at Alice and gave her a small smile that was more like a grimace. She briefly placed her hand on my cheek before getting up and walking over to Jasper, collapsing in his arms and doing her best to weep without tears. He stroked her back and whispered platitudes in her ear, the sound of his voice doing all the actual soothing. I saw in his thoughts that he bore me no grudge for my attack; I nodded my head at him, thanking him for his understanding. Not ready to talk yet, I gestured I was going to head home and then ran as fast as I could in order to be back to my love sooner. I felt an intense need to hold her, to know she was safe. Tomorrow, I was going to ask Alice to bring me clothes and I'd change in the woods.

I was halfway to home before I heard the unmistakeable chatter of multiple wolf minds in one body. It was much worse than the last time, there was a whole pack of physical wolves here, in addition to the two I'd dealt with previously, who were not here now, but up north. Images repeated over and over as each wolf had a thought and the other processed it and had it's own. I had to concentrate to make sense of it; blocking out the images and focusing on the words, deleting each duplicate unless it made sense.

_Bella...vampire...pet...coven...kill...Cullen...bloodsucker...kill...James..._

The last was all I needed; the wolves wouldn't have that name unless they'd come across him, the one coming for my Bella. I needed to figure out what the fuck was going on and I needed to know now; this multi-mind-meld thing had to stop.

I ran at full vampire speed to where they were gathered and scattered them like pins hit by a bowling ball.

"Enough!" I roared. "All of you, phase to human right now and someone tell me what's going on. I can't understand with all of you thinking at the same time."

Of course they all then started shouting at me in their heads, wanting to attack but knowing they couldn't without violating the treaty.

Quickly identifying the alpha, I ran to where they were pacing in a group, and before they could react, grabbed the big, black wolf by a hind leg, whipping him toward me until I had him in a crushing bear hug. I could hear the ribs straining and whispered in his ear, "One more millimeter and bones start breaking. Order them to phase, immediately."

The wolves were panicking now, I had their alpha at my mercy. So far, the wolf I held was making no move to comply with my order, instead choosing to try to break free. He would tire before I did, but I was not planning to wait much longer. This was about Bella, and I had zero patience for anything that delayed getting the information I needed.

"Alpha, give the order. You know you're trapped. There's no time for this! I promise, I give you my word, none of you will be harmed. I'll let you go as soon as they're all human."

_Phase, he's right, I can't get loose._

They all protested, but as he was their alpha, there was nothing they could do, and the air around me almost sizzled when they all phased to human at once. The cacophony in my head cleared to a manageable level immediately. Unfortunately, they were all incredibly angry with me now, and were no longer thinking of Bella and her tormentor.

I let the alpha go and stepped back warily in case he attacked instead of phasing. Without the element of surprise, he would be a bit more difficult to subdue, especially since all the other wolves would then phase back and attack all at once. _Hmmm, maybe I shouldn't have been so quick to grab the alpha._

Fortunately, he phased to human instead of tearing my frigid ass to shreds.

"Sorry," I immediately apologized, knowing I was in the wrong. "That was way out of line, I over-reacted when hearing the vampire, James, referred to in a thought. As you know, he's a threat to my mate."

Hopefully, since the wolves had their own mating method, there would be a little understanding of my plight.

The alpha, I could see from the thoughts of the others his name was Sam, nodded his understanding but continued to glower at me. It was a bit difficult for him to concentrate given that he and the others were sitting on one of the other wolves, Paul. Apparently, that one had a bit less self-control than the others, even under a direct command from the alpha, he still kept pushing and hurting himself by straining against the invisible leash binding him. I swear, I saw one hand turn into a paw for a moment before going back. It was fascinating to watch, but I had to get information.

"Sam, please, what is it you saw?" I begged him to tell me, show me, anything.

He left Paul to the others and came to stand before me, in his mind, I saw everything he was exposed to from Leah's mind along with the current status. So far, Leah and Jake had not found the coven's current hide-out. None of the wolves had crossed with any other vampire scent meaning we had no idea where James was. The idea that he might be able to mask his scent chilled me to the core. That meant I couldn't depend on my siblings to watch Bella, I was the only one who'd know when he came near as I'd be able to read his thoughts. Even so, that would only leave me about a 4 mile warning, mere minutes at vampire speed. He would scent us long before I would hear him.

Shouting my thanks to the alpha over my shoulder, I sped back to Bella's home, needing to see her immediately. I heard him calling for me to wait in order to make some plans, but that was going to need to be after I reconnected with Bella.

Reaching Alice and Jasper's tree, I gestured for them to come down. Quickly I explained the situation to them. Thankfully, Jasper was a master strategist and had some ideas.

"Edward, we can handle this. Even if we can't smell him, there's other ways we can detect him. It just requires a different kind of focus. We listen to the woods, really concentrate on every single sound from all the living creatures. You know what happens when we pass. Think of it, what will we hear? Furious beating of wings, tiny legs scrambling, bird calls quickly all changing and moving. Smell, we can follow that too, many animals bursting into movement at once creates an unmistakeable scent we can track. We'll be chasing a negative, but we can do it."

Jasper's calm, intelligent way of handling this issue was helping to settle me down. He was right, knowing what to focus on was almost as good as being able to scent the vampire himself. As long as we we knew where we were at all times, any unexplained animal activity would be a marker. We'd have to co-ordinate on this with the wolves as well. There senses were almost as good as ours and the natural life didn't fear them as it did us.

The wolves had caught up; Alice and Jasper started to fill them in on our plan while I continued on to Bella's house. The distasteful thoughts of the wolves followed me; they were unhappy at having two new vampires forced on them. I didn't give a shit.

After reaching Bella's back door, I attempted to take a moment for collecting myself. The easy self-control I usually had command over had gone completely absent. I knew as soon as Bella saw my face, she'd know what was going on. Part of me wanted to hide everything from her, whisk her away to Disneyland and never let her know how close her enemy had gotten. But I knew that wasn't what she'd want. She'd handled the situation with incredible bravery since her mother's death, learning all she could and doing any little thing she thought possible that would help prolong her life. It would be insulting of me to try hiding this from her now.

It was time to get this over with. I knocked.

The door was flung open, and I'd no sooner entered and shut it behind me, when my Bella launched herself into my arms and wrapped herself around me. It was a greeting I'd never thought possible from her, and I couldn't even enjoy it. Time was of the essence; I had to tell her now.

As gently as possible, I tried to get her feet onto the floor, unable to speak words until I was looking at her. When it came time to dismember James, it was the hurt look she had on her face right now I'd remember. My beloved thought I was rejecting her; for that alone, he deserved to be destroyed.

"I'm sorry, Edward. I understand if you're pissed from when I woke up," she whispered.

Softly, I placed my hand under her chin, lifting her face so our eyes could meet. I could see the hurt in her expression, but once she took in my own, hers quickly changed to fear. As I thought, she knew immediately knew something was wrong solely from looking at me. Still, as much as it pained me, I had to say the words.

"He's back, Bella."

For the briefest of moments, she appeared confused, as if she didn't know to whom I was referring. Then, it sunk in, I could see it on as terror replaced confusion; her eyes opened wide and started to dart all over as if he might be in the room with us. I drew her close to me and wrapped my arms around her. Trembles were shaking her body while the sound of quiet sobs vibrated against my chest. _No other vampire on earth has suffered as much as James will._

"I've got you; he won't get to you. Alice and Jasper are outside, along with some other unexpected allies."

She looked up at me, her eyebrows drawn together in confusion as she appeared to wonder who our allies could be.

"Your friends from La Push." I smiled at her, letting her know this was a good thing.

"Jacob?" she asked.

"Yes, Jacob and the rest of the pack. Do you know anything about them?"

Her face settled a bit into concentration, and I was glad for the distraction talk of the wolves gave.

"Not really. Pack? There was something about wolves on the internet. Are you saying he uses wolves to fight vampires?"

This was going to be interesting. Part of me was itching to leave this little house and take Bella to the Cullen home where we had extra protective measures we could put into place. However, Bella was expected at school, and we needed to take care of that first before I could get into detailed explanations.

"Bella, I'll tell you everything. For now, we need to handle school. Can you call your father and have him get you excused for illness?" I hated having to ask her to lie, but I couldn't protect her well enough at school when we only shared one class.

She grimaced, but then went to the phone and made the call. If it wasn't such a difficult time, her attempts at subterfuge would have made me laugh. As it was, the stress of the situation took care of making her sound unwell enough that her police chief father believed her.

That taken care of, I called out to Jasper and Alice, requesting them to come to the door. Once I heard they were in place, I picked Bella up and carried her out the back way towards the woods. It was safer for us to protect her with our bodies than with a car; as a single entitiy, with the wolves trailing behind, we ran from Bella's house to our own. As we ran, Sam reached out to Jacob and Leah through the wolf neural net telling them to come back as soon as possible, that Forks was the priority now.

I could tell the exact moment when Bella got her first good glimpse of the wolves, she stiffened in my arms and started muttering, "Holy shit! Holy shit! Holy shit!"

We ran at the fastest pace we could maintain while still keeping the group formation. The wolves' collective thoughts were driving me crazy again, and I was trying my best to block them, causing me to almost miss another mind in the area.

_That's her! The scent, every bit as luscious as I remember, and so much more now. Moving too fast. Something's not right. Vampires. Why is her scent surrounded by vampires? No! They can't have her, she's mine. And there's that horrible stench from before again. What the fuck is that? It better not be coming from her._

It was him, and he knew I and my family were with her. He hadn't identified the wolves as anything yet other than a bad smell. That was good, we had the element of surprise.

_Fuck, that awful smell is following hers. Whatever it is, I'm going to make sure I destroy it this time._

I almost laughed aloud at his thoughts. Between my family and the pack, he didn't stand a chance.

We made it to the house in a matter of minutes and darted right in, closing and locking the door behind us. The wolves had no interest in coming in, choosing instead to form a blockade around the house. While the were willing to help keep Bella safe, actually entering our home would be too much for them. I was very surprised they were even helping us at all. With no discussion, and even though I'd been horribly rude to them each time we met, they'd aligned themselves with us to keep Bella safe.

Once we were all in, Jasper hit the switch that raised the metal shutters over all the windows. We'd made it in and Bella was secure. I let my body relax a little bit and gently placed her on the couch, kneeling in front of her to hold her close while she dealt with the affects of all the adrenaline coursing through her body. She was shuddering profusely and appeared to be nauseous going by how much her throat was convulsing. Alice was a blur as she zipped from the room to the garage to grab a bucket, making it back and shoving it between Bella and I one half second before Bella started retching into it.

I moved to sit next to Bella on the couch while gently gathering her long hair in my hand and keeping it from getting soiled. Bella hadn't gotten to eat breakfast before I dropped my bombshell on her this morning, and most of the expectorate was acidic mucus. In a gesture I knew well, her hand came up to try soothing her burning throat, and once again Alice came to the rescue, this time with a glass of ice water.

Dry heaves racked her body, preventing her from taking sips. Tears streamed from her eyes while she sobbed; it was the release of nearly a decade of fear, all coming out at once, now that day she'd dreaded for so long had come.

There was nothing I could do other than keep next to her, and make sure she knew I was protecting her.

Eventually, her sobs slowed, and her breathing steadied. She looked up at me, and her face made me wish I could cry tears of my own; her eyes were red rimmed and blood shot from crying, and her tears had left shining tracks down her beautiful face. But, there was a new determination now in her gaze; she looked at me straight, and I could tell she was ready to fight.

"Tell me everything," she said.

I did. I explained the origin of the wolves, the uneasy truce between us, and how it was for her sake alone that we were working together to keep her safe. Drawing on the images I'd seen in the wolve's minds, I recounted their encounter with James' coven which allowed us the forewarning of his intent.

The rest of my family had come back home while I was talking and listened as I brought her up to date.

It was remarkable how still she held herself during my explanation and how little reaction there was to the truth behind the La Push pack. She was like a soldier, taking it all in to use for the upcoming battle. Pride in my mate overcame me as I watched her maintain composure and consider all that I'd revealed.

"Bella, the most important thing to know is this; there are seven vampires in the house right now, and five shape-shifters patrolling around the house. The other two shape shifters are on the way. There is absolutely no chance one vampire, or even three, have of getting through to you. We know he's out there, and we're going to come up with a plan to keep you safe, while hunting him down and destroying him."

Bella nodded, and said only, "good," before flopping to the back of the couch and closing her eyes. She looked to be exhausted, and I felt bad for keeping her awake most of the night before.

I turned to start making plans with my family when she abruptly straightened up again and grabbed my arm to get my attention.

"Edward, there's something else you have to promise me."

"Anything, love, anything." I assured her.

"Not a one of you can get killed. I wouldn't be able to bear it if someone else died in my place. Can you do that?"

Before I could answer, it was Jasper that spoke up, surprising us all as it had been obvious from how stiff he held himself, he was struggling with the scent of her blood in the room.

"Darlin' that boy will be no more difficult for us to handle than any other piece of trash we dispose of. Now, you can take my word on that." He nodded as he spoke, and Alice placed an arm around Jasper before kissing him on the cheek, showing her gratitude for the assurance he provided.

Amazingly, a small smile actually appeared on Bella's face after hearing Jasper speak.

"Well, alright, lets mount up then!" she said in the most horrendous southern accent ever. It broke the tension like nothing else could, and we all laughed. It was exactly what we needed.

After the chuckles died down, Bella turned to me again. "I want to talk to the pack. Is that okay? It doesn't seem right that they are risking themselves to protect me when I haven't even met most of them yet."

I cringed inside; they were volatile and dangerous creatures. As ungrateful as it made me sound for what they were doing, I didn't want them anywhere near her. It wasn't up to me though; if she wanted to talk to them, then I'd make it happen. First, I was going to make sure the Alpha and I were on the same page. Jake and Leah had come back by now, and I wasn't sure how well a talk with Bella would go over.

"Let me go check and tell them you want to talk. I'm sure it will be fine, but it would be best to make sure. You'll probably only be able to talk to one or two since we would lose the protection they're providing if they all phased."

"Thanks." She picked up one of my hands and lightly rubbed her cheek on my palm while giving me a small smile. "Mmm, you're cool skin feels really nice right now; I hate how warm I get when I freak."

I gathered her back in my arms; she was right, she was very warm and must be terribly uncomfortable. Glad that my cold body could be put to good use for once, I lightly held her for a few moments longer until her temperature was back to normal. While holding Bella, I listened to the rest of my family in the background.

Aloud, they spoke of how we would track down James and destroy him. Their minds, however, seemed focused on the novelty of seeing me with my mate. For so long, I had been on the outside. Now, like them, I had someone who meant everything to me. Finally, I knew what it was like to truly love another person. They were all very happy for me, even Rosalie.

"Okay, Bella. I'm going to go check in with the pack. I think Esme has been planning to test her cooking skills out on you. Don't worry; she's very good."

I got up from the couch, and Bella's hand seemed to have trouble disengaging from my own; neither of us wanted to let go. I gave her a smile and then lightly tugged away, her own face turning a bit petulant and rueful, but accepting of what needed to be done.

Outside, Sam and Jacob guarded the front of the house while the rest of the pack ran circuits.

"Sam, Jacob. Bella would like to speak with you if you have a moment."

No sooner were the words out of my mouth when Leah trotted up.

_Jake doesn't go anywhere near that girl without me._

My eyebrows raised, a bit surprised at Leah's statement; Bella was no threat to her relationship with Jacob, yet Leah seemed consumed with jealousy. I didn't want her in the house with Bella if she was going to be unpleasant.

I started to respond, but Sam broke in first.

_Leah, calm down, stay out here while Jake and I go in. There's no reason for three of us to stop patrolling._

_Are you going to order me, Sam? If not, I'm going in. There's no way I'm going to sit out here while my imprint makes moon eyes at some other girl._

Maybe I could help.

"Leah, Bella is my mate. As grateful as she is toward your pack, she has no interest in anything beyond friendship with any of you."

_Fuck off, blood-sucker. I wasn't talking to you. It's bad enough I've got these furry assholes stuck in my head. You stay the fuck out._

Alrighty then.

"Sam, when you and who ever is phasing with you is ready, please let me know, and we'll come out, as I know going into our home would be uncomfortable for you. Please, make sure they keep back. I trust you, but she's my mate; I'm sure you understand."

Sam broke off remonstrating Leah for her vitriol long enough to sadly reflect on his own mate's scarred face before letting me know they'd keep a certain distance.

I headed back in, and found that the living room had emptied while I was outside. Bella was in the kitchen with Esme, enjoying a grilled cheese sandwich. Rosalie and Emmett were in the garage gathering up some supplies in case we had to go mobile in our hunt. Carlisle was in his office with Alice and Jasper going over what he knew of the whole concept of a singer and how we could use that to our advantage. While we certainly wouldn't use my Bella as bait, he had some interesting thoughts regarding spreading her scent to confuse the vampire and drive him crazy.

I stayed in the living room, waiting for Bella to be done with her snack, not wanting to interrupt the time she was spending getting to know Esme. My mother figure had much love to give Bella. While she'd certainly never presume to replace Bella's own mother, she knew that the kind attentions of an older woman would more than likely be very welcome by a young girl who had gone without for so long. As always, my own love and appreciation for Esme knew no bounds.

While waiting, I reflected on this uneasy truce we had all of a sudden found ourselves in with the wolves. Really, it sort of sprang up out of no where. Up till now, all my dealings with them had been acrimonious at best. I certainly never thought I'd want any sort of help from them. Now, faced with the reality that a vampire was coming for my mate, I understood it would be arrogant and ignorant of me to refuse any help I could get.

The situation also gave me a new appreciation for the wolves themselves. It would have been easy for them to turn their back on Bella, knowing that she was with me of her own free will. Yet, they stuck to their chosen calling, to protect every human in their territory from vampires, even if it meant working with us.

If I was being honest with myself, I knew they could more than likely handle James on their own. While it was easy to defend myself against them, that was in large part due to my ability to read their minds. James didn't have that luxury. Again though, it would be every bit as stupid to depend on them to take him on unaided, when having seven vampires to help would ensure complete success.

_Edward; Jacob, Leah and I have phased and are ready to meet with Bella if she'd still like. We'll wait on the porch._

I couldn't help but chuckle; of course Leah had gotten her way. There was something oddly likeable about her.

"We'll be right out, Sam. Bella is just finishing up a small snack."

I headed into the kitchen to let Bella know the pack was waiting for her.

"Bella, do you still want to talk to the pack? You don't have to. They're happy to help whether you speak to them or not." I still hoped she'd change her mind, even though I knew it wasn't very likely.

She swallowed the last bit of her sandwich before brushing off her hands and hopping down from the stool she'd been sitting on.

"Okay, I'm ready." She turned and waved to Esme. "Thanks for the grilled cheese."

We headed back out to the living room, but I blocked Bella from actually opening the door at the last moment.

"Bella, please, if at any moment it seems like the wolves are getting upset, get behind me, and stay there. They do not always have complete control of themselves. This should be fine, and I don't want to scare you, but I need to make sure you understand this is not without risk."

She stepped away from the door and wrapped me in a hug. I swear, there was no other way to describe the feeling of her arms coming around me, other than to say, I was home. I was where I belonged. There was nothing I couldn't fix in order to be able to spend more time there.

"I'll be careful, Edward. Don't worry, I promise."

Then she stood up on tip-toes and kissed me, sealing her vow.

Satisfied, I let her turn back to the door and open it, before we both stepped out onto the porch.

Sam, Jacob and Leah stood at the bottom of the stairs, waiting for us to come out. One pack member still in wolf form stood behind then, guarding their backs. It was Bella's first good look at a shape shifted wolf, other than when we were running and I could hear her gasp.

"Beautiful!" she exclaimed.

I wasn't sure I'd go that far, after all, they did stink something fierce, but I had to admit, they were not your average wolf.

Jacob became very excited at seeing Bella, a wide smile crossing his face as he stepped forward to greet her. He stopped in his tracks when Leah growled, and I growled back at her as I whipped in front of Bella making sure she was closely behind me.

"Leah, enough, I let you here against my better judgment. Do not bring shame on us by acting hostile toward the human we're protecting."

While I would have been a bit—_firmer_—in my demand, I had to admit that Sam was doing a good job of keeping her under control. By playing to the pride she had in her pack, she became determined to control herself and do nothing to embarrass the tribe.

Bella peeked out from around my back and addressed them.

"Please, I don't want anyone to be forced to protect me. If she doesn't want to be here, please let her go back home."

I could tell Bella was very upset at the thought Leah was there against her will. She had no idea of the exact difficulty Leah had with her since I'd never thought to mention it. Bella knew they were mated, but did not know the thoughts Jacob frequently had of her.

Speaking directly to Leah, Bella went on, "It's okay, really, I understand if you're not comfortable with this. Edward explained to me that your tribe has difficulty tolerating all vampires, even the Cullens."

She looked up at me then, from where she was twisted around my torso, her eyes full of questions as she seemed at a loss for what to say to make sure Leah felt comfortable going back home.

Since I could tell all three were under control, I stepped to the side a bit so Bella was next to me instead of behind. I dropped a kiss on the top of her head before turning back to the pack.

Leah was looking at Bella and I, her mouth kind of opening and closing as she went to say something and then changed her mind. In her thoughts, I could see she wanted to hate Bella, but was having a hard time when it was obvious there was nothing to actually hate about her.

"Look, I'm fine being here. Don't worry about it. It's this asshole I'm pissed with, not you," she said, while whacking Jake on the back of his head.

Bella smiled back at Leah. "Well, I'm glad I'm not the asshole you're pissed with. That looked like it hurt!"

Everyone got a little chuckle from Bella's comment, and I marveled again at her ability to cut through tension with only a bit of humor to lighten the moment. Even Leah looked to soften a bit as her hand moved down to hold Jake's. Surprised, Jacob looked down at their hands, then back at Leah, and from their thoughts, it seemed like the first time they'd connected like this. Maybe there was hope for them yet.

"Really, I just wanted to say thanks to you all for helping. I'll be forever grateful."

Sam replied for all of them. "It's what we were created for. No vampire will harm a human on our territory as long as we exist." His words were a bit brusque, but I could tell he appreciated her gratitude all the same.

Bella smiled at Sam, and I nodded my agreement at his words. This really was the safest place for humans, as far as vampire attacks were concerned. Even if the wolves did stop patrolling, we would never allow vampires to hunt on this land.

"Edward, we're going to phase back now. We'll let you know if we see anything," Sam said.

I started to reply when a new voice entered my head. Shit, it was Bella's dad. He was coming up our driveway in his cruiser.

_What has my daughter gotten into? I was told the Cullens are good people, but she's supposed to be home sick, not hanging out with a bunch of other kids who should also be in school._

Fuck, this wasn't good. Somehow, Chief Swan had found out Bella was here.

"Sam, Chief Swan is coming up the driveway. Get the pack out of sight."

"On it, Cullen."

Sam, Leah and Jacob immediately phased back, leaving destroyed clothes all over the yard. Bella was tugging on my arm, but I had to zip down and pick up the fabric before the chief saw it.

I ran back up the stairs and hustled Bella into the house, calling out to the family as I came in. They'd already heard the car and my comment to Sam and were getting ready to put on our human guise. It was too late to hide Bella; we didn't know how he'd found out she was here and couldn't risk coming under the scrutiny of the law. We'd have to play it like a simple case of hooky.

Chief Swan reached the house and slowly exited the car, taking a good look around in the process. His demeanor had "cop mode" all over it as he examined every little thing his eyes passed. Invisible to the eye, but deep in his mind, he was in "worried father" mode and was using his cop training to delay what he thought he'd find, his daughter in a bad situation of her own making. Memories of a very sick and drugged Bella flew through his mind, and I winced to see the condition she'd been in. This was something she hadn't told me about yet, and I felt even more anger at the thought of what she'd been through since her mother's death. Unfortunately, his memories were keeping him from thinking about exactly how he'd found out Bella was here, putting us at a disadvantage.

Bella was very nervous beside me, wringing her hands and muttering under her breath about bad daughters and cop fathers who lost their jobs.

"Shhh, it'll be okay, love. If there's one thing we're good at, it's dealing with the authorities. They love us."

She looked up at me and tried to smile, but it didn't quite reach her eyes.

Carlisle came forward, prepared to answer the door once the knock came. I could see he had a complete and believable story already in his head, and I felt confident we'd be able to appease the chief, and maybe even keep Bella with us.

I whispered to Bella to let Carlisle talk to her dad before saying anything, and she nodded, eyes still trained on the door in dread.

The knock came and Carlisle went to answer it, the smile he kept handy for his patients moving onto his face in preparation.

"Chief Swan, I'm Dr. Cullen. I apologize you needed to come out here. I was just about to call you."

"You were, were you?" The chief wasn't quite ready to fall under Carlisle's spell, though his worries did ease a bit at finding an adult home and ready to acknowledge that something was going on.

"Yes, sir. Bella accidentally, what did you call it?" He looked at me as if to get help in remembering a term.

"Butt dialed? You know, when the kids have their phones in their pockets and sit on them?"

He was trying to gain camaraderie with the chief as a fellow father of dumb teenagers.

"Anyway, she accidentally dialed my son earlier today. Apparently, she'd been vomiting at the time, and he became quite concerned about what he heard on the phone. He'd been on his way to school at the time with his siblings, and detoured over to your home to make sure she was okay. Finding her feeling very poorly, but otherwise fine, he brought her here so my wife and I could watch over her. My children were just about to head back out to school when you arrived."

Oh, shit. While Carlisle's explanation sounded completely plausible, the Chief's thoughts finally revealed that he'd been told she'd been taken from the house into the woods by us. This didn't match our story at all.

"Mmm,hmm. Well, Dr. Cullen. That doesn't exactly jive with what I was told. I don't know what you're covering your kids for, but I don't want my daughter involved. Bella, you go on out to the car right now."

She looked up at me, panicked, her eyes wide and frightened.

I had no way to let Carlisle know what the chief had been told, he was looking at us too closely to even use our higher pitched vampire voice.

Then, I saw it, the Chief had an image in his head of the person who'd told him we have Bella. It had to be him, the one after my Bella, I could tell the person in his mind was a vampire, and he'd come up with the only way to separate her from us. Unable to control myself, I tightened my hold on Bella, not willing to let her go.

The chief's gaze narrowed on me, as if he could tell my arms had tightened around her.

"Dad, please, it's nothing like that. They haven't done anything wrong." She pleaded with him, but I could see it wasn't going to make a difference.

"I'll be the judge of that, young lady. You take yourself out to the cruiser right now. I have a couple more things I need to say to Dr. Cullen here."

This wasn't good. I could walk her out to the car, but then we could only follow behind while in the woods, keeping her under surveillance, but unable to get anywhere near close enough for my taste.

Bella's arms reluctantly left my waist, but I kept hold of her hand, not ready to let her go yet.

"Chief Swan, I am very sorry for any impropriety. I'll walk Bella out to your car while you speak with my father." I hoped my adult tone would comfort him a bit.

"You'll stay right where you are. My daughter is perfectly capable of walking out to the car on her own." He held out his hand holding his keys for his daughter to take as she walked by.

My mind raced, it raced as fast as a vampire mind could, and I could see the minds of the rest of my family were doing the same. There was no hope for it though, none of us could figure out how to get Bella from our house to the car without leaving her to make the walk by herself. We'd have to pray that the wolves were enough to keep James at bay, and that his plan was to try going after her later. My entire body clenched at the thought of leaving her safety to the untried wolves outside. I comforted myself with the thought that if he was close enough to grab her, I'd already be hearing him.

It was up to me to let Bella go, as I could tell she wouldn't be able to do so on her own.

"Bella, I'll talk to you soon, I promise. Go with your father now. Okay?" I used my eyes as much as possible to assure her we'd keep her safe until we were together again.

I released her hand, and she looked at me confused for a moment, as if she couldn't believe I was really going to let her go. In that moment, I wanted to destroy Chief Swan almost as much as James. I held her gaze, still trying to reassure her, and she finally seemed to read what I was trying to send. She bravely smiled up at me, and let my fingers go, before turning and grabbing the keys. Bella said nothing to her father at all before heading out the door. He was disappointed for a moment, before going back to his original plan.

"Now you listen here, Dr. Cullen..." the Chief started.

I tuned him out as I listened to the sound of her steps on the front porch. She was heading down the stairs to the car, and I could only wait to hear the sound of the cruiser door open and close, letting me know she was inside.

There were five stairs between our front porch and the ground. She was moving slow, and the time between each stair existed as its own eternity in my mind.

Finally, she made it to the ground. From where the chief had parked, it was about ten more steps. With each, she moved slower and slower, as each took her further from the safety of our house.

One.

Two.

Three.

Four.

_Come on, Bella, take the next step. Please!_

Two seconds.

Four seconds.

Nothing.

I couldn't wait any longer. Staying as close to human speed as I could, I strode to the door and flung it open, vaguely noticing that it went flying off the hinges, into the room.

She was gone.


	13. Chapter 13

_**~Bella~**_

_Ow...ouch, ouch, ouch...ouch, that fucking hurts!_

_What's going on? Why can't I talk? Why can't I move? Why's it so dark? Oh, fuck, everything hurts so much!_

_Ugh, can't open my eyes... my lids feel like they weigh a hundred pounds each. Why is this so hard? Oh, there's a sliver of light, they're opening! My mouth, finally, I can wiggle it a bit._

"Ugnnn. Ugnnn. Hello? Edward? Where am I?"

It had taken me every bit of strength I could draw from to open my mouth and eyes. I could talk now and see that I was in a shack of some sort.

It was like the time I'd woken up in the hospital from my drug overdose; everything was coming to me very slowly.

After a couple moments, it occurred to me to lift my head and look around.

"Oh, that hurts!"

One little movement and it felt like I'd been hit with a hammer. I couldn't help shouting out.

Slowly, very slowly, I looked around. It was an empty room, like a small shed or outbuilding of some sort. I could tell from the windows on all four walls that it was a one room structure.

"How did I get here?" I asked, hoping someone was around to answer me.

My memory was super fuzzy; the last thing I remembered was making breakfast and waiting for Edward.

"Edward, are you here?"

_Nothing, I must be alone. There's something... some reason I shouldn't be alone. Why can't I remember?_

"Hello, Isabella. Very nice to see you again. You're looking absolutely scrumptious." A sinister voice whispered behind me.

Forgetting the pain in my head, I whipped around to see who had spoken.

"Ow! That fucking hurts!" I grabbed at my head, trying to sooth the pain pounding behind my eyes.

"Language, Isabella, language. I do not appreciate the way you young ladies speak these days. I know it hurts; I hit you a bit hard when I grabbed you. Don't worry, pretty soon you'll be in much more pain, and this will seem inconsequential."

Everything came back to me then—vampire—the vampire that had killed my mom, not the one who was supposed to be protecting me. Where was Edward? How had he let this happen to me?

Unwilling to look at my captor, I kept my eyes down on the floor and tried to block out his words. I didn't want to think about his plans for me; hopefully, it would be over quick.

Fuck, I wish I'd never met Edward. I'd let myself think that maybe everything would be okay. Maybe I'd be safe. Now, here I was, exactly where I thought I'd be all along, until _he_ had let me think he could protect me from this. I hated him, hated him for giving me hope, hated him for letting me get taken this way.

Tears poured out of my eyes, and I let them fall, not wanting to make any movement at all while the vampire was watching. I was angry—angry at Edward, angry at the one who had taken me. I wanted to scream and cry and punch the walls. But I had to stay still, because what else could I do? I was only a human, a weak insignificant human. My head hurt so bad I thought I would vomit from the pain, and, according to the vampire, I only had more to look forward to.

More tears. My body shook from the force of my crying; no matter how still I tried to stay, I couldn't stop the shaking.

"Sweetie, I see what you're trying to do. I'm sorry, but keeping still is not going to change anything. Please, feel free to cry out. Scream at me, hit me, anything you want. Your fate will remain the same. Although, maybe if you provide a little amusement, I'll be inclined to a bit of leniency. We'll have to see."

Nothing he said mattered, I wasn't going to move, scream, or anything he mentioned. Touching him of my own free will, even to hit him, was the last thing on earth that would ever happen.

"Well, I guess it was a bit too much to hope for some entertainment from my new pet. That's okay, I'm sure I can find ways to amuse myself with you even without your assistance."

I was going to kill Edward if I ever saw him again. This was all his fault. Why wasn't he here?

"Okay, dear. I need to go find Victoria and Laurent. I've got a lovely little cage for you over here. See how it hangs from the ceiling? This way, if you need to do any of that nasty human stuff, it will fall right to the floor. I don't want you soiling that beautiful skin of yours. Speaking of skin, go ahead and take your clothes off before getting in the cage. You won't need them anymore."

_Edward! Where are you? Please! Save me!_

"No, please, no. No. No. I don't want to. No!"

"Two choices, Isabella. Either do it yourself, or I'll do it for you. If I do it, I can't promise I'll be able to keep myself from taking a taste in the process. There's not much that's more painful to a human than a vampire bite. Are you sure you're ready for that?"

_Edward! Why? Why did you let this happen? Please! Come save me!_

I had no choice; I didn't want that creature anywhere near me for as long as I could manage. Making as little movement as possible, I took my clothes off and set them aside. Keeping my back to where the voice was coming from, I tried lifting only my eyes to find where this horrible cage was.

I couldn't see it.

Lifting my head as little as possible, I tried to get the cage in my line of sight, but it was no use.

I heard chuckling behind me.

"Little human, I guess you can cross one worry off your list; compared to the beautiful vampires I normally share my attentions with, you're about as attractive as a pile of excrement. Put your clothes back on if you like; I've lost interest in using you as a sex toy. I'll just need to keep you as some sort of farm animal, I guess, kind of like my own personal cow."

He laughed. Laughed at the horrible plans he had for me. Crying harder, I quickly put my clothes back on and then crumpled back down to the floor.

"Oh, no, little cow. You still need to get in your cage. Unless you can manage to pull yourself up to climb inside, I'm going to need to lift you in. Hmm, I think I will go ahead and take that taste now."

He spoke as if the things he were saying to me were no more consequential than discussing the weather or a TV show. Didn't he realize I was a person? I was a person exactly as he had been before someone had changed him.

"Please, you were human once, why are you doing this to me?" I cried.

"Yes, I was human once, a very long time ago. Do you want to know how I spent my time when I was human? Shoveling shit and living in disgusting barns taking care of rich people's animals."

He was angry now, and I wanted to slice my own throat for thinking I could reason with him.

"That's right—my human life was miserable. I hated every person who thought they could own me, control me. The first thing I did when I had my wits about me again was hunt down and kill every one who had ever issued an order at me like I was a slave. Every person who thought I was lower than them fed my new beautiful body with their blood. You humans are miserable, weak creatures."

He spat on the ground behind me, and then, before I could blink, was in front of me, holding me up in the air by my throat. My legs kicked, and I fruitlessly tried grabbing at the hands crushing my wind pipe. I couldn't breath.

His face was right in front of mine, snarling at me. I could see something that looked like spit, but darker and thicker dangling in strings between his unnaturally sharp, white teeth. He was repulsive, and I felt myself wanting to vomit again.

"Listen to me, my little cow. You now serve one purpose and one purpose only. I think even you, with your insignificant brain, can figure out what it is. So, unless you're going to start pouring blood out of your mouth, keep it shut. I've changed my mind; you're not allowed to scream after all."

He threw me on the ground, and I could feel one of my ankles bend the wrong way and crack from the force of the landing. I screamed, the pain in my head forgotten now that my ankle was broken.

"Shut up, cow!" He screamed back at me. "I don't care if you're in pain. Stay silent, or I'll rip your tongue out of your throat."

Barely, I managed to stop screaming, but uncontrollable retching took over, and I dry heaved onto the floor. Desperately, I tried to keep quiet, the noises I was making sounding loud and horrible even to my own human ears.

He spoke again, his voice back to his normal, calm tone. "You'll have to forgive me. I'm sure this little misunderstanding is all my fault. After all, I was pleasantly conversing with you all along; I imagine it seemed like a reasonable conclusion that you could talk, too. Now, you know better. No talking. Your screechy human voice makes me regret having ears."

I looked up at him then, not sure what was going to happen now, but wanting warning in case he decided to hurt me again.

He crouched down next to me, and brought his face within an inch of my own. "Your delicious smell more than makes up for the sounds you make," he whispered.

Bringing his nose to the base of my throat, he used his hand to cover my face, blocking my mouth, which I'd still been wheezing from.

"Mmm, yes, you do smell divine, little cow. I think it's time for a snack."

I thought he'd bite into my throat then, but instead, he grabbed my right hand and brought my wrist to his mouth. I whimpered, and his other hand tightened over my face, making it hard to breath.

"Hush, now. Ruin this for me, and I'll drain you immediately."

Somehow, I don't know how, I managed to stop making any noise. For a moment, I considered screaming in his ear, forcing him to kill me instead of accept his plans for long, drawn out torture. I couldn't do it, though; I knew Edward was searching for me: him, his family, and the wolves. If I could hold out, maybe they'd rescue me. I only hoped by that time, there was something worth rescuing.

"Good girl. I'm going to move my hand now. Remember, you're nothing more than this wrist I hold in my hand and the blood pumping through it. I don't want to have anything to do with any other part of your body unless I say so. Stay absolutely still no matter how much it hurts."

How could he ask this of me? He knew I was human; how could he expect so much?

I had been already watching him, and now was afraid to look elsewhere as it would mean moving my head. In vain, I tried to let my eyes unfocus, but it was beyond my control to do anything other than watch what he did.

Slowly, he brought my wrist to his nose. He inhaled deep, breathing my scent in and holding it. His eyes closed while he hummed in satisfaction.

Opening his eyes again, he locked his gaze with mine, and then lightly licked the skin on my wrist. His tongue was soft and silky, just like Edward's, and I hated that he felt the same.

For what seemed like forever, he licked at my skin, the same spot over and over. Gradually, his soft tongue started to feel abrasive, like sand paper instead of silk. He was licking harder. The skin where he licked started to get red, like a rug burn, and hurt. I braced myself, knowing any moment he was going to bite and that I needed to somehow stay completely still.

Instead of biting, he only kept licking, over and over. It was really hurting now, and I wanted to pull my hand away, but I was frozen solid with terror over what he would do if I tried.

He looked up at me after several more licks. "We should start to see some blood soon. I'm going to start licking a bit harder now. Stay still."

Tears were flowing again from my eyes, and I could feel my control giving way. Pretty soon, I wouldn't be able to keep in one place any longer. My ankle was killing me, and I was so scared about what would happen when the blood started to flow. The spot on my wrist felt like it was being held over an open flame. Then he started to lick some more.

As he'd said, he was licking harder now. Each pass of his tongue felt like hundreds of needles being driven into my skin.

After five more passes, miniscule droplets of blood started to seep through tiny little scratches his tongue had made on my skin. He stopped licking and brought my wrist to his nose again, inhaling even deeper than before.

Without warning, and while still holding onto my wrist, he swept his leg under my body, making me fall onto my back. The movement jarred my ankle, and I cried out at the pain. His hand came over my mouth again, and he slid his body on top of mine, lying on top of me like I was a bed, chest to chest.

"I figured you might need a little help keeping still. Don't worry, I'll let you breath. Just enough to keep you alive and awake. After all, we wouldn't want you to sleep through our first feeding, would we?"

I said nothing, figuring his question was rhetorical as his hand still covered my mouth. There was only the smallest amount of air I was able to take in due to the weight of his body on my lungs. Each breath was short and shallow, and I could feel myself getting lightheaded. I had a brief moment of hope that I'd faint after all. He must have been able to tell because the bastard let up enough for deeper breaths.

He brought my wrist back to his mouth and swiped his tongue on my skin once more, this time, with much more force than he'd used previously. I cried out, the sound muffled by his hand, as the pain on my wrist intensified far greater than before. What had felt like a brief moment of fire, was now a constant flame on my skin. Even after he lifted his tongue from my wrist, it burned hotter and hotter. I was screaming now, and my body was trying to writhe and twist, but he was too heavy for me to make any movement.

"Ah, yes, that's the venom seeping into your wounds. Don't worry, I'll bite you soon and suck it back out. I only want to draw this out a bit longer. You're doing fabulous, my fine bovine; your blood is every bit as delicious as I'd hoped. I'm not sure how long I'll be able to keep you alive. Even now, it is almost impossible not to tear into you and suck you dry."

His words barely entered my consciousness through the burning. Vaguely, I knew what he meant; if he didn't suck out the venom, I'd turn into a vampire. I didn't really care; I only wanted the pain to stop.

He licked several more times, each one increasing the flame on my wrist, while the burning sensation traveled up my arm. My screams were now nothing more than horse groans as my throat couldn't sustain them anymore.

"I'm going to bite now. This might hurt a little."

_A little? What the fuck did he think I'd been feeling? Could this really get worse?_

"I'm going to enjoy this. I'll say goodbye now in case I can't control myself and this is your last moment on earth."

He then gave a sick chuckle before sinking his teeth into my wrist.

_Fuuuuuck! Noooooo!_

Screams tore through my ravaged throat, the pain impossibly worse than before, like my skin was getting ripped off my arm while burning.

He was sucking on me, and each pull felt like my arm was being shoved into a wood chipper. Instead of fire, shards of ice were being drawn down and through my arm, the pain completely different, but no less intense.

With a scream of his own, he ripped his mouth away from my wrist before grabbing me from the floor and throwing me across the room. I smashed into the opposite wall feeling more bones break, this time in my arm. Thankfully, as soon as my body fell to the ground, and I landed on the broken arm, everything went dark.

I don't know how long I was out, but by the time I woke up, it was night outside. No longer lying in a broken heap on the floor, I was in the cage I hadn't yet seen before now. It was like an oversized bird cage, with a circular floor and the bars tapering up to meet at the top where it hung from the ceiling by a chain.

The barred floor was horribly uncomfortable as the bars dug into my skin. I attempted to sit by pushing up with my right hand. Moaning was all I could manage when I was brutally reminded of the torture inflicted on my wrist by James before it had been broken from the throw.

Before moving again, I did a quick mental inventory of my body. It felt like every inch of me was in pain, but I eventually narrowed it down to the broken ankle and right arm in addition to the mother fucker of all head aches.

Trying again, this time with my left hand, I managed to push myself to sitting on my butt, the bars a little less punishing that way, thought not great since I'd never had much meat in that area.

"Oh, look, James. She's awake." A new voice, female. I could barely make myself care.

"What do you think of my pet? I call her, little cow." James replied.

A pale, feminine hand appeared in front of my face, grabbing my chin and tilting my head up. "This—thing—is what you went through all this trouble for? She smells no better than any other human to me."

The female staring at me, another vampire, was a horrendously beautiful woman with long, curly red hair and crimson eyes. Her voice was oddly very high-pitched, almost painful to listen to.

James appeared next to her in a flash, yanking her arm out of my cage.

"Then you have no reason to go anywhere near her. Stay away from my pet." He snarled at her.

She pouted at him like she was a teenage girl instead of a vicious killer, her bottom lip sticking out while she looked up at him through her long, auburn lashes. "James, that's not very nice. You won't even let me have a taste?"

He grabbed her arm again and drew her away from my cage. "Never. Don't even think it. She's mine. She's mine until the day I drain the last drop of blood from her body."

"All right, James," she said. "I bet there's something else you have that you'll share, though." Her voice had changed from whiny to seductive, and I prayed that he'd take her up on her offer; despite what he'd said before, I was still terrified that he'd want to do more with my body than drink from it.

"Hm, there was something I wanted to try." I heard him say as he approached my cage again. "Come over here and get on your knees. You suck while I drink."

Before I could stop myself, I started crying out loud. "No! No! No! Please! It hurts too much, please!"

He grabbed the cage and shook it violently making me fall all over. "Silence, cow. You should be grateful I'm making Victoria service me and not you."

Even though I knew it was stupid, I tried reasoning with him anyway. "If you take too much in one day, I'll die, and you won't have me to drink from later. I haven't had anything to eat or drink yet since the last time."

For a moment I thought he was going to shake the cage again, but then he dropped his hands and looked at me appraisingly.

"You're right, little cow. I am neglecting the physical needs of my pet and risking losing you for good."

He turned away from my cage and spoke to Victoria once more. "Call Laurent. Instruct him to get some some bottled water and snacks. He can go to the vending machines outside the shopping center."

Victoria laughed. "You want me to send Laurent to vending machines? He won't even know how to use them."

He flashed across the room and backhanded her across the face.

"Do not laugh at me, female," he snarled. "Laurent is a vampire—he'll figure it out. Do as you're told before you find yourself cast out of my coven."

The playful look had fallen from her face with the slap, and she looked panicked instead. "Please, no, James! I'll call Laurent. He'll get the food and water; I promise."

He didn't reply, only waved his hands at her in dismissal.

I sat watching them, wanting to know if either seemed like they were going to approach my cage. It was awful; I actually felt grateful for the bars surrounding me. As ridiculous as it sounded, they gave a very tangible, if false, sense of security.

"Well, now, little cow. What shall we do while we wait? Oh, yes. We must see to your broken bones. Can't allow those to remain as they are or infection will set in and ruin my blood."

I whimpered; I'd rather risk a blood infection than have him anywhere near me.

"I have to admit, while your screeching is decidedly unpleasant to listen to, your whimpers are a pleasant sound." He laughed. "Awful of me, isn't it, how much pleasure I get at your pain?"

I was crying harder and almost missed the most welcome voice in the universe.

"It's nothing compared to the pleasure I'll have destroying you."

_Edward!_

**End Note: **Sorry for the intrusion, especially as I know some people may be a bit agitated right now at that cliffie...I wanted to let everyone know that I'm going to be submitting a contribution to the Fandom for Preemies compilation. I know you can't tell from my writing, but I turn into the sappiest mushiest pile of goo around babies and love them fiercely. I'm hugely excited to be able to contribute to the good works done by the March of Dimes. The contribution will be an out take from my fic, "Letters." For those that are reading the story and are familiar with it, the out take will be written in story form and not as a letter and will cover Edward's surrender and trial. It's coming along great and I know readers of the story will really enjoy it! Since I can't put a link here - please Google "Fandom for Preemies" to locate their blog to donate if you'd like to get the compilation. There's going to be tons of great stories from lots of excellent authors - well worth a small donation of $5, though feel free to send more if you're able! All those tiny babies will be very grateful. _  
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	14. Chapter 14

_**~Edward~**_

Gently, I stroked Bella's hair, not wanting to see, but unable to avoid noticing, how it appeared a bit longer and fuller than it did three days ago. The change would not be discernible to the human eye, but I could see it. That wasn't all. Her pores were minutely smaller, and had a tiny bit of extra sheen. The soft skin that covered her body wasn't quite as soft as it was before. Tonight, she hadn't fallen asleep until well after midnight, even though her broken body should have made her tired enough to slumber far earlier. All of this worried me.

While I watched her sleep and kept up the gentle slide of my hand through her hair, I listened as Carlisle and Jasper discussed all they'd found, and not found, about Bella's condition. Jasper was going above the call of duty, considering his mate had forsaken him for another. Beyond the conversation they were having, I also focused on the land outside our home, listening to every mind that came within my range, hoping to pick up whatever notice might be available that the authorities were on their way. Of course, no part of my attention left Alice's room, as I bided my time waiting for the vengeance that I would be taking. My appreciation for Jasper's help only went so far; I wasn't nearly the man he was.

Bella stirred under my hand, her eyes flashing open; she looked much too awake for having only gotten four hours of sleep.

"Hey, you haven't moved?" she asked.

I smiled down at her, trying to keep all the worry off of my face. "Move? Why on earth would I move? All I could need is right here, sleeping peacefully with her head in my lap." I continued running my fingers through her hair...hair that was now a sixteenth inch longer than when she fell asleep.

"You're worried."

I had to laugh; it was stupid of me to think I could hide my concern from Bella and wrong of me to even try. To actually say the words to her, though—how could I? She was going to want to die—and I was terrified she'd ask me to kill her.

"Go back to sleep, love. It's still early; you need rest. We can talk when it's daytime."

She scrunched her face up at me. "I can't; it hurts."

We both looked down at her wrist, at the patch of skin that was healing all wrong. If what I thought was correct, that patch would be gone soon.

"Is it the burn or the ice this time?"

"Both?" she answered, seeming a bit unsure how to describe what she was feeling.

"Do you burn anywhere else?"

She dropped her head, and I knew then she suspected what was going on. "All over, like a mild sunburn, but getting stronger, as if I went back out in the sun after being burned."

"Ah, Bella," I moaned, gathering her in my arms, wishing I could cry to relieve the pressure building inside me.

"I'm going to go back to sleep now. I don't want to be awake anymore," she mumbled.

Twisting, she moved herself out of my arms, off my lap, and onto the bed, only confirming she was going to hate me if we couldn't fix what was happening to her. While I still caressed her hair with one hand, the other dug finger tips deep into my thigh muscle as I tried to release my self hatred through pain. It didn't work.

Though she tossed and turned a bit, Bella finally went back to sleep, and I once again started to relive the moments of the past two days, wondering what I could have done differently.

My first mistake had been the damn, fucking door. Ripping it open as hard as I had, ripping it right off of the hinges and onto the floor, was a big give away to Bella's father that something wasn't right with me. Rapidly switching his gaze between the obviously heavy solid wood door and my slim seventeen year old looking body, his mouth opened and shut a few times as he tried to process what he'd seen and wanted to say. Since I had neither the patience nor the will power to keep up the human charade while my mate was missing, I'd done nothing to try to explain what he'd seen and instead only made it worse by flashing out the door faster than his eyes could track. While the incredulous thoughts in his head were duly noted, they were of no concern to me right then.

Of course Carlisle was far more mature than me and able to keep his head on straight even through all the fuckery around us. Faster than Charlie could see, Carlisle cold cocked him before gently laying him on the floor near the open door way. He then moved the fallen door next to Charlie's head. Quickly, he manipulated the hinges to appear as though they'd already been weak at the time I flung the door open. I watched all this as I raced from one end of our property to the other, trying to find Bella's scent. It was useless; there was nothing. The wolves were doing the same, though they'd ceased to be anything more than random dust bunnies flitting about on our land the moment Bella had been taken from under their noses. Any respect I'd had for them was gone, even knowing it wasn't their fault. Now, they were simply nothing to me—everything was nothing now—except her.

As I ran as fruitlessly as a hamster in a wheel, I wondered, was it the time Carlisle spent cleaning up after me that could have gotten us to Bella sooner?

After he'd messed with the hinges, he'd called out to Esme to make sure she was the first person Charlie saw once he woke. Quickly—but was it quickly enough?—he explained to her what he wanted her to say to Charlie when he came to.

"Explain the door had been broken just the other day by vandals and we hadn't yet gotten it properly fixed. It had clipped Charlie in the head and knocked him unconscious. He mentions anything about flying doors and super human strength, start talking concussion and hospital time and he should clam up."

Esme nodded and then went still as a statue as she waited for Charlie to waken, there being nothing else for her to do now as she waited for her newest daughter to be found.

That took, what, one minute? Less? I hadn't been paying attention. Was that the time that we'd needed to get to her before the first drop of venom hit her blood stream?

Free from his responsibilities in the house, Carlisle rushed outside and caught me on one of my high speed frantic circuits around the property. Grabbing my arm, he whipped my body to a stop, the momentum nearly hurtling me backward less one appendage. I deserved it, too; running around like a moron instead of focusing on my surroundings was my second mistake, as my father would show me.

"Edward, calm," he demanded, wanting me to be still and less of a distraction to whatever he might be able to detect from the air around us.

His mind was a blur to me as thoughts and ideas moved faster than I'd ever seen. The speed with which he considered and tossed one plan after another actually soothed me. My calm, mild mannered pseudo-father was showing his three century age, along with all the time he'd spent honing his vampire abilities during his existence.

I could hear high-speed typing in the house as my siblings took to the wires in an attempt to find where James may have gone. While most nomads stayed completely off the grid, there were still plenty that kept in electronic contact with others of our kind. If James had taken my Bella to a favorite hideout, then maybe someone knew where it was. We were also tracking any new missing persons reports as any killings may provide a trail. Later I'd deal with the guilt I felt hoping someone would die and become the breadcrumb I needed.

Carlisle was every bit as still as his wife in the house, except for one barked order of "Silence!" directed to those on the computers and the wolves loping around us.

Finally, when everything was as motionless as could possibly be, I began to hear it. What I heard wasn't in the land around me, but solely in my father's head. It was what only he could hear, he with his hearing that was three hundred years better than my own. The rushing sound of vampire feet racing at top speed, the impact to the ground exactly 109 pounds heavier than it should have been, if he hadn't had my Bella in his arms.

As much as I desired to take off then and there, I waited to see what Carlisle would recommend. He held up a fist signaling us all to keep still, and then spoke directly to me in his thoughts.

_We're going to follow. Just us, not the wolves._

Within mere nanoseconds of the last thought coming from Carlisle, Alice was a streak of lightning dashing from the house into the woods towards the direction of the rushing foot steps. I tried reading her mind to see what she was doing, but all I heard was _mine mine mine mine. _Immediately, I tensed up: Bella was mine, Jasper was hers. Something was horribly wrong.

Alice's unexpected leap into action could ruin any chance we had of catching James unaware unless we overtook her—unless I overtook her—I was the only one fast enough to do so. I was gone.

They say bad things happen in threes; that was my third mistake, going after Alice.

Behind me, I could hear the rest of the coven following, and the wolves bringing up the rear since Carlisle hadn't gotten a chance to tell them to stay. Ahead I could hear Alice's footsteps and still catch the tail end of her thoughts as she drifted in and out of my mind reading range. Still, she only repeated the same word over and over in her head: _mine._

Unexpectedly, after a few miles, she stopped running and waited for me to catch up. When I saw her, it was like she was a different person. Her face no longer held the sweet, friendly expression I was used to. She was now hostile and tense, her face pinched while her hands clenched and released at her sides.

_You're not getting through me, Edward. Don't even try; I can see you won't make it no matter what you could possibly decide._

Shocked, I didn't bother trying to figure out what she was doing—I charged. As I hurtled towards her, I could see in her head her vision of what would happen depending on what she did. While I was fast, her mind was faster, and she successfully blocked me as she'd promised she would. Still, I was forewarned on what she would do and could, in turn, counter attack immediately. It was a fight with no physical contact, only attempts to feint and dodge around each other. Still, her mind did not show me why she was doing this. Behind her quickly moving strategies, I could hear over and over, like a hum, _mine mine mine._

I was enraged now, and wanted to kill Alice for keeping me from my mate. Snarls ripped through my mouth as I tried to get around her.

Finally, Carlisle and the others showed up. We formed a circle around Alice, leaving her out of options. She stood in the middle, her arms crossed in front of her, seemingly fine with the situation as long as we weren't making progress in rescuing Bella.

"Alice, please tell us what's going on?" Carlisle spoke to her quietly and calmly, like my reason for existing wasn't being taken further and further away as we stood here.

Unfortunately, I couldn't leave yet. As soon as I decided to go, I could see in her mind that the circle would have enough of a gap for her to pounce on me once more. I may run faster than her, but her ability to hurtle through thin air more than made up for that when we were starting from the same point.

Jasper held out his hand to her, as if she was a small child. He was every bit as confused as we were but felt if he could get her in his arms, everything would be okay.

"Stay away from me, Jasper," she snarled. "You too, Carlisle. Stay away."

"Why, Alice? What's wrong?" Jasper entreated her to explain.

She growled at him, low in her throat, a sound vampires only make when they're on the edge of extreme violence. Her words were guttural and harsh, nothing like the cheery lilt we were used to hearing from her. "I'm not your mate anymore. You're nothing to me now; my maker has arrived, and he will be everything I need."

We all stared at her completely stunned. No mated pair I'd ever come across had seemed as complete as Jasper and Alice. Who was the maker she referred to? James? Or the other male?

Jasper had dropped to his knees as if stabbed, her words the only things sharp enough to pierce his strong vampire skin.

"Alice, no, I'm your mate. You saw us together before we even met. What are you saying?" He was begging her to take it back, to admit they were still Alice and Jasper.

Alice snorted, "The feelings I had for you are nothing compared to what I feel now for him. The future I see for us is everything I could ever want. Finally, I'll be able to drink from humans like a vampire should. Edward's little twat will be my first."

I couldn't take any more and lunged forward, grasping with my hands to reach her neck and rip her head off. Of course, she saw me coming, and it was all the break she needed. Fast as an arrow, she flew through the gap in the circle, landing a good five hundred feet away from where we stood before bounding off into the brush.

Leaving my family in tatters behind me, I streaked after her, hoping I could catch up again, knowing it would be a lot harder now. The damage was done, though; having to deal with her, Carlisle lost the sound of James. Even Alice's mind revealed she didn't know where he was, she only ran to keep me from finding him before she could. Once I realized chasing Alice was useless, I stopped and headed back to the rest of my family. If anyone was going to be able to find James again, it would be Carlisle—or Jasper, if he was even up to helping anymore after her betrayal. I needed to let go of my desire to destroy Alice and focus on rescuing Bella.

I reached my family to find Jasper prostrate with grief on the ground. He was on his knees, hunched over and keening in a horrendous wail. The desolation emanating out of him threatened to cripple us all as it hit us in wave after wave, pouring out from him in increasing amounts and burning into our brains thanks to his mental gift. His despondency, on top of my own depression at Bella's abduction, nearly made my knees buckle, but I held fast, knowing that anything else would mean the end of my love.

I hunched down in front of Jasper and spoke to him—begged him—to do all he could right now to get up. "Please, Jasper. Help me find her. We find Bella, we can destroy James, and you'll have you're Alice back. They must have somehow done something to her and the only way we'll be able to fix it is to find and kill him."

He looked up at me with eyes more dead than any I've ever seen in an undead body. "I can't kill anything my mate loves. And I won't let you do it, either."

He bowed his head again, dismissing me, as I sat there in stunned silence.

I turned to Carlisle, hoping for some guidance, but he look every bit as shocked as I did, and we all were still struggling with the emotional overload coming at us from Jasper.

A brief charge in the energy around us preceded the entire wolf pack shifting to human. It had been too much of a struggle for them to deal with Jasper's grief while in animal form. Their bodies weren't equipped for it. Surprisingly, Leah separated herself from the pack and approached Jasper. She did nothing except kneel beside him and rest her body against his, trying to bring some kind of comfort to him. In her mind, I could see memories of how she'd felt when Sam had left her for her cousin. It was those thoughts that brought her to Jasper's side now.

Once she was actually touching Jasper, Leah's dose of his melancholy increased exponentially, and her strong body started to shudder and twist. Jacob immediately tried to move her away from Jasper, but she held him off with a raised hand and stood her position. I didn't have the heart to tell her it was doing absolutely no good at all.

In the meantime, Sam had been consulting with Carlisle on what the next step would be. They decided we would follow the path Jake and Leah had been on when they'd been tracking Victoria and Laurent to the hideout they'd mentioned. It was our only lead at this point, even though it meant going in the opposite direction we'd been heading in.

We had one problem, though, that needed fixing first.

"Jasper." I knelt down in front of him again to get his attention. "Man, you've gotta rein it in. I know you're suffering horrors right now, but we're all getting it tenfold from you."

He raised his bleak eyes to mine. "I can't."

"We're going to need to take you back home then, before we head back out to find them."

That seemed to get his attention as his eyes focused a bit and he looked angry instead of lost. "You won't go anywhere without me. I need to make sure Alice and—well—whoever she wants stays safe. You'll kill anyone to save that human of yours."

He was right. Fuck, I'd even kill him if he got in the way of rescuing Bella. I wondered if he realized that. Going by the challenging way he glared at me, it seemed he had. He'd gotten up off of the ground and squared off in front of me. His thoughts showed his confidence in being able to defeat me if necessary. Now, in addition to the misery I'd felt from him before, there was anger and violence. A very dangerous combination.

Carlisle noticed the growing tension between us and came over to address Jasper. "We'll all work to keep Alice safe and protect her well being. Bella's, too. Please, Jasper, try to control what you're putting out. It's too much, especially for the pack."

As always, Carlisle knew exactly what to say to settle things down. Jasper closed his eyes and we could watch him working to relax every part of his body in order to gain control. Abruptly, it felt as if my emotions belonged to me again, and all I felt was the anxious urgency to get underway in rescuing my mate.

The pack all breathed a collective sigh of relief once they were no longer getting bombarded by Jasper's emotions. Like me, they were ready to get the show on the road and find Bella, and they quickly phased back to their wolf forms. Emmett and Rosalie, who'd been unusually quiet through everything, simply stood off to the side waiting for the rest of us to go. Both were carefully keeping their real thoughts hidden behind banal observations of the day's events. That was the strangest thing since they were notorious for using x-rated visions of themselves to keep me out of their heads when they wanted. Obviously the seriousness of the situation had gotten even to them, breaking through Emmett's normally perpetually good mood and Rosalie's constant self absorption.

With nothing else that needed to be done, we were finally able to get underway again.

"All right, everyone," Carlisle called out. "The pack is going to lead the way to where Jacob and Leah were when they turned around and came back to Forks. Let's go."

The wolves were a blur as they took off into the woods; we chased after them, staying no further than arm's length away from the rear tail. Leah was in the front, being the fastest of all the wolves; Sam took the rear spot as he'd never be comfortable with us following directly behind his pack and was using himself as a barrier, albeit if only in his own mind.

Moving at full speed, it still took us a good hour before we were approaching the spot where Leah and Jake had turned back earlier in the day. The sun had set during the run, and I had become morose at the thought of how much time had gone by since Bella had been taken. I was confident she was still alive, convinced I would have spontaneously expired into a pile of ash the moment her heart stopped beating. But that didn't mean I had any good feelings at all about the condition we'd find her in.

Leah's sense of smell was marginally better than even Carlisle's, so it was once again that my first clue we were on the trail came in another's thoughts instead of via my own senses. In her mind, I could see she'd picked up a fresh scent from the red headed female and the other male, not James. No Bella.

Miraculously, Leah was able to go even faster. We all found an extra reserve of strength and probably broke some kind of world record for vampire and werewolf speeds.

After another fifty miles or so, the scent was strong enough that we all had it real good. Vampires and wolves mingled together in one large group as we all ran at top speed to save the only human ever precious enough to unite us.

Finally, after another twenty-three miles of running, I picked up Bella's scent. I was the first one this time, as none of the others were anywhere near as attuned to her as I was. We were exactly 15.7 miles from where she was, and it took me less than a minute to make it there. The scent of her blood spurned me on to speeds I was sure had never been attained before.

When the ruined little cabin came into view, it took every ounce of control I had not to barge right in. Thankfully, I had enough sanity left to know that if I burst in there in a moment where he was already drinking from her, he'd be able to kill her before I could rip him away.

I stood there, still as stone, while waiting for the others to catch up and processed what I was hearing inside. There was one voice and one heart beat, but no thoughts. I was used to not hearing Bella's, but I'd been able to hear James before. Then, I figured it out. He must be able to shield himself at will, some sort of camouflage that could mask everything: sight, sound, scent, and mind. The perfect gift for a hunter. It would have been easy for him to figure out I was a mind reader back the first time I heard him if he'd been close enough to catch me interrogating Sam. He must have been keeping his mind blocked ever since. It was the only explanation for how he was able to get close enough to grab Bella when she went to her dad's car.

In that moment, now that I was near enough to my Bella to hear her heart beat, I was glad I couldn't hear James' mind. His words were awful enough. Thankfully, they were also all I needed to calculate his distance from her beating heart. He was at least three feet away from her.

Carlisle approached me and gave the go ahead. The cabin was surrounded. We both heard James' plans for Bella, and there wasn't anything that could have held me back in that moment.

Using a running leap, I soared into the cabin through a hole in the wall that used to contain a window. Amazingly, I'd caught James completely unaware of the hoard outside, his senses filled to the brim with Bella's blood, leaving nothing for his own defense.

Furious to hear he planned to administer some sort of sick medical care to my beloved, I made sure he knew who was going to truly suffer.

"It's nothing compared to the pleasure I'll have destroying you."

I snarled the words at him, ready to tear him apart, when Jasper burst in from the other side of the room and landed in front of me.

Quicker than lightning, the room filled with vampires and wolves. Barely able to see what was going on as I tried to get around Jasper to James, I at least managed to catch Carlisle and Emmett grabbing Bella's cage down from the ceiling and Rosalie taking her out. The wolves formed a barricade between Jasper, James and me, and Bella, not caring about us, only wanting Bella to be safe.

Jasper seemed to be almost splitting himself in two as he made sure to keep James inside the cabin instead of allowing him to go after Bella, while at the same time preventing me from attacking James.

I was almost through Jasper when Alice showed up, dropping part way through the ceiling right on top of James, grabbing him around the waist with her legs, and then hoisting him back up again and out onto the top of the cabin. Jasper and I stood opened mouthed looking up at what we could see of them through the hole she'd made. Deciding I no longer cared about the three of them until I'd checked on Bella, I ran outside to where Rosalie had her propped up against a tree, letting her sip some fresh water.

I collapsed to my knees in front of Bella, afraid to touch her after what she'd been through, but desperately wanting to take her in my arms and never let go.

She lifted her head to look at me, her eyes clouded with pain and her lips pursed tight as if she was trying to keep from screaming.

"You came," she whispered from what must have been a damaged throat. "You really came."

"Yes, Bella. I'm so sorry! I had no idea he was there; he camouflages himself. Tell me what hurts. What can I do for you?" My voice grew frantic as I begged her to give me something I could do to fix what had happened, to allow me to do penance for letting her be taken.

Rosalie broke in, "Edward, she has a broken arm and leg. And look." She pointed to a nasty looking rash on Bella's arm. "I don't know what this is."

"That's where he licked me."

We both stared at her, neither one of us able to say anything.

"What?" Bella asked, confused by our incredulous stares.

I slid one hand under her arm and placed one over the rash. I could feel the heat under the skin; it was much warmer than it should be.

"Mmm," Bella hummed. "That feels nice."

Her eyes closed, and she rested her head back against the tree.

"Bella, did he bite you?" I had to know what was going on. Licking her shouldn't have left a rash. We were able to heal wounds with our licks, not cause them.

She nodded her head a tiny bit and then winced as if the movement hurt.

"Where?"

"There, where your hand is. The teeth marks went away but the rash didn't."

Her eyes remained closed, and I got the sense that she'd retreated into her self, not wanting to deal with what she must be hearing in my voice.

I looked at Rosalie, and then we both looked down at her arm. The rash _was _healing, but very slowly. The skin there felt firmer than it should, a bit less pliant than the rest.

Quietly, too quiet for Bella to hear, I asked Rose if she'd ever seen anything like this. She only shook her head.

Carlisle was over by Alice, Jasper, and James. I had no room in my mind to even consider the fuckery of that conversation barging into my head. Over my burned ashes would Alice be bringing James back to our home.

I motioned to Carlisle to come check on Bella; if there was ever a time we needed a vampire doctor, it was now.

"Yes, Edward? I'm sorry, I thought Rose let you know the results of my examination. The breaks are bad, but they'll heal. I'm sure you can hear from her heartbeat she hasn't lost enough blood that we need to be concerned."

I broke in impatiently, still whispering to keep Bella from hearing, but doing nothing to mask my irritation at being given information I already had.

"Her wrist, Carlisle. What the fuck is up with her wrist?"

Rose answered me while Carlisle bent to look. "It didn't look like this when he first examined her. Then, it was more like a friction burn. We, uhm, we assumed she'd been bitten somewhere we can't see right now. She wasn't talking. At the time, she wasn't changing, so all he examined were the breaks."

_At the time._

Carlisle finished and looked up at Rose while I covered the rash again with my hand, hoping I could cool it down and stop what was happening.

"I've never seen this before. It's—well—I don't know. I'll need to research when we get back home. Perhaps a call to the Volturi will yield answers, but I hope it won't come to that as their involvement should be avoided at this point."

He didn't speak the words out loud, but I could see them in his mind all the same. There may not have been any reason to keep Bella secret from the Volturi much longer.

Bella shifted on the bed, her body coming back to rest in my arms now that she was asleep and instinctively seeking the comfort of her mate. I took another look at the rash; it almost looked like it was sinking into her skin, and fresh skin was forming on top, but the new skin was translucent instead of opaque. In the time I'd been focused on the memories, the blood flow around her broken bones had improved—much faster than it should have.

Alice and James were arguing now. Alice wanted to leave immediately; she wanted to start her new life with her _true _mate. James was working to convince her to stay, ostensibly in order to give her time to make sure she wanted to be with him. His mind was still blank to me, but I knew the true reason was to remain near Bella. Alice knew it, too, but every time she considered confronting him, she got a vision of herself alone: no Jasper and no James. After what Jasper had pulled back at the cabin, I couldn't conceive of what had happened in her vision to eliminate both from her side.

Of course, while Jasper couldn't see the visions she was having, he could hear all of their arguing, and it was taking everything he had in him not to blast us all again with misery. Still, he held out hope that Alice would come to her senses and eventually be back in his arms. From what I saw in Alice's head, it wasn't likely.

The fact that James still lived was destroying me. I wanted nothing more than to slowly rip him to pieces, and then sit and watch as they tried to come together, occasionally kicking them apart again and again to prolong the agony he'd be feeling. I'd stick his head on a stake pointed in the direction of the rest of his body so he'd see it all. As long as I made sure his venom touched all the body parts, he'd feel a pain ten thousand times worse than when he'd been transformed—and I'd relish every moment.

But, before I could commence my torture, I had to convince Carlisle and Jasper. They were the ones that allowed him to come to our home, Jasper claiming we couldn't kill him without it destroying Alice, and Carlisle too concerned for the rest of the humans in our territory to let him go.

Yes, Jasper was a master strategist, and yes, Carlisle knew me well. Still, I bided my time, sitting on the bed, running my fingers through my beloved's hair. I bided my time; it would come.


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N: Hi Readers! I'm so happy to see you again! I know I said no more A/N's, but after such a long delay, I felt I should just mention once again that I'm very sorry it's been so long since updating. I absolutely love writing these stories, but, and I know you hear it often, real life is just crazy. I will persevere though, so if you bear with me, we'll get there on this and all the other stories. Thanks!**

**If you need a refresher – Last chapter was in Edward POV after Bella's rescue from James. He revealed she was changing into a vampire – very slowly. He also recollected the details of her rescue. Onward...**

**~Bella~**

_Dear God, I know you haven't heard from me before, but if you can please make sure I stay human, I'd be really fucking grateful. Amen._

God probably dropped his morning coffee in shock hearing a prayer from me. I'd never acknowledged his existence before, believing myself forsaken ever since my mom was taken from me. But with each heartbeat that pushed my overly warm blood through my body, I screamed inside myself for it to stop. Edward's tortured eyes had told me all I needed to know when I'd woken up earlier in the night. If there was anyway to stop this, he'd do it. And, while his cool hand sliding through my hair felt lovely, I knew it was doing nothing as far as holding onto my humanity. If he couldn't fix it, then that left only God.

Fully awake, I was reluctant to open my eyes. There was a lot to be faced today: Edward, my dad, my descent into undead-hood. Until I opened my eyes, I could pretend it was all a hideous nightmare and wake up to my old life. _Do I really want that back?_

Given Edward's super senses, I knew he'd be aware I wasn't asleep anymore, and I appreciated him giving me these moments as I gathered myself together. Inwardly I cringed, remembering my anger at him after James had taken me. One night was all I'd gotten with Edward before our fledgling relationship was put to the ultimate test. All the ambiguity I'd felt towards him before was nothing compared to now. How could I blame him when I'd been targeted by James long ago? If it weren't for Edward, I'd either still be in that cage right now or dead. I'd lived almost my whole life expecting to die at the hands of that monster. In the years following my moms death, whenever I was feeling particularly macabre, I'd try to imagine how it would be. What exactly would it feel like to have every drop of blood sucked through a torn gash in my neck? Immersed in vampire lore as I was, I'd come across a significant number of stories that spoke only of pleasure instead of pain. Sexual pleasure wrung from a stupefied victim moments before the kill. Would that be my lot—to have my one sexual experience be with the undead? _Ha._ And now, here I am, lying in bed with the undead, and unless there's a miracle, soon to be undead myself. Maybe this was my path all along.

_Ugh, Bella, focus. You're supposed to be analyzing your feelings for Edward, not thinking about what's going on under your skin._

My subconscious was really not ready to accept the status quo yet, and I was more than happy to indulge her.

Concentrating, I tried to determine what I felt for the being beside me gently running his hand through my hair. At first sight, I'd hated him. Then, I got to know him and found him to be exceedingly likable. The whole love thing snuck up on me out of nowhere during our one night together. Had it really been only a matter of seconds between the time I realized how much he meant to me and when disaster struck? Now, no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't get that feeling back. It wasn't that I hated him again, or even that I only liked him. Completely opposite in fact. It made no sense, but in the time since I'd been taken till now, he had somehow become entirely essential to my existence. The thought of him not being next to me was literally inconceivable. Simultaneously, though, I wanted to rail at him with angry words and hammering fists. I wanted the power to make him feel as hopeless and destroyed as I did right now. Well, actually, I did have that power; I could leave. Too bad leaving would only destroy me as thoroughly as it would him. Somehow, my understanding of what he felt for me was all of a sudden crystal clear, because I felt it, too.

Fuck, no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't keep myself in denial. Edward's words from when he'd revealed his feelings to me were neon lit in my head, "In the short amount of time we have known each other, my whole world has become solely about you. It's the vampire way; when we mate, it is as heightened as every other aspect of our kind."

If I could have felt this way before I'd been licked and bitten, I'd be ecstatic. Now, it was tainted. The feelings weren't mine; they belonged to what I was becoming. It wasn't about my heart or my head, or even my soul. This bond was entirely supernatural, like my free will to choose who I loved had been taken from me every bit as much as my beating heart would be.

_But you were falling in love with him before all this happened._

None of that mattered now. Yes, I may have been falling, but he didn't catch me; I landed on him and shattered. Like something out of a horror movie, I'm being put back together by forces that can only be described as evil. And if I was watching that movie, I'd be screaming at everyone that came near me to run away. I was unholy.

"Ssh, Bella. Please don't cry. I promise, we'll get this figured out. Shh." Edward whispered in my ear sweet platitudes that meant nothing. I couldn't figure out why he was talking to me all of a sudden, and then I realized my face was wet with tears.

Angry with him for trying to placate me, I lashed out, spitting words I knew would hurt him and make his dead soul bleed. "Oh yeah, Edward? And exactly how are you going to fix this? I'm turning into a fucking monster. Do you know what that thing did to me when I was with him? Do you have any idea? He burned me with his tongue, Edward. His fucking tongue. I'm sorry, but it matters nothing to me that you only feed from animals. You're capable of everything he did to me. Matter of fact, you'd probably love to have me in a cage, too, wouldn't you? I'd be like your own personal blood fountain."

His hand had dropped from my hair and his eyes turned bleaker and bleaker with every single thing I said. Part of me felt vindicated, while the other felt like a worse monster than James was for hurting someone as kind and love filled as Edward. Was this the eternal being I was destined to be?

"Edward, no, I'm sorry; I take it all back. I'm being a fucking cold cunt bitch. Please don't listen to me!" I shouted at him and grabbed his hands trying to put them back in my hair as if I could turn the clock back.

His eyes went from bleak, to confused, and then to understanding.

"Love, I know things must be very hard to focus on in your head right now. It's okay, say whatever you want, I won't go anywhere."

He was being way too nice. No one was that nice; he must want something. Frantically, I tried to figure out what his possible motive could be, then it hit me. Sex. He wanted to fuck me while I was still all warm and soft. If he waited too long, I'd be a statue like every other female vampire. Probably only reason he'd attached himself to me in the first place. Fucking, please, and I nearly fell for that mating bond bullshit. Well, the joke was on him. He was hot, and I was more than ready.

I twisted myself till I was no longer lying down and then quickly straddled him until I was sitting between his legs. He looked surprised, but I didn't spend much time considering what that meant before I mashed my lips to his and tried to gain entrance to his mouth with my tongue. Vaguely, I noticed his colder temperature and hard skin no longer repulsed me. Mostly, I concentrated on doing whatever I needed to get him to fuck me senseless. I didn't want to join the undead a virgin, after all.

It took a moment, but I finally realized he wasn't kissing me back, and he was gently using his hands to prevent me from ripping his shirt off.

"What? Come on, lets get it on before I'm not worth your time anymore." I tried again to yank his shirt over his head but he still deflected me.

Holding my hands in his, his eyes were sad now, and I would have thought he was ready to cry if I hadn't known he was incapable.

"Bella, my love, what are you doing?"

"What does it look like I'm doing?" I retorted angrily. "I want to fuck. Now. What's wrong with you?"

"You know I want to be with you, too, but this isn't the time. It should be romantic and beautiful, not born of anger and desperation."

I snorted at him. "What the fuck does it matter now? I'm turning into a fucking blood sucker. I can't get sick or get pregnant; I can't even die. Sex means nothing anymore; any respect I had for my body is dead and gone. I'm a new Bella now, and all I care about is getting what I want as soon as I want it."

Even as I said the words, part of me was shouting in my head they were complete bullshit, and I didn't mean any of it. It was as if a tornado had taken over inside my mind and was whirling everything around and then randomly taking ridiculous notions and slamming them out of my mouth with horrendous force.

Again, Edward grabbed my hands and tried to settle me down. "Yes, you're turning into one of us. I didn't want to admit it, but you're right. All night long I could see the change coming over your body. It's taking longer than normal, and I'll be forever grateful that you're not in the same pain that the rest of us experienced, but, you're absolutely right—eventually, you'll be a vampire."

I felt all the air leave my body when I realized all along I'd hoped he'd refute my statement and come up with some other explanation for what was happening to me. He didn't stop to notice and kept right on speaking.

"It's a newborn trait, one I think you're experiencing a bit early, to go wildly from one thought to the next. It will stop eventually; you'll see. I'm so sorry, love, but it will get easier, I promise." While he spoke soothingly to me, he kept my hands in his lightly stroking his thumbs on my skin.

He was being incredibly kind, gentle, and patient, and all it did was further piss me off.

I snatched my hands out from under his and pushed myself off of him till I was standing on the floor in front of the bed. In a fit of anger, I kicked the bed, stubbing my toe on the leg.

"Ouch! That fucking hurts!" I started hopping up and down, upset at my own stupidity and lack of control. Of course, then I promptly fell down landing on my ass on the floor. I looked up at Edward and he stared back at me, a very incredulous look on his face. I could tell he was concerned, but he was also trying very hard, and failing, at trying not to laugh. Really, I couldn't blame him, and my anger left my body like air from a balloon when I first started chuckling, and then full on laughing. Edward took that as his cue giving him permission to join in, and we both had complete laughing fits there in the room. It was awesome and exactly what I needed.

After a couple moments, we settled down, and I felt much calmer. I smiled at Edward and scooted forward on my knees until I could place my arms in his lap, folded, and rest my chin on them. Lifting my head, I looked up at him, and he smiled down at me while using his hands to bring my hair behind my neck to settle down my back.

"You're so beautiful," he whispered.

Amazingly, I believed him. I could see in his eyes that he meant it. To him, I was beautiful, no matter how many fits and tantrums I threw and no matter how many times I acted like the world's biggest skank. He was going to love me forever-human or vampire—his love was eternal.

Again, I launched myself at him; this time it wasn't out of desperation but affection. I captured his face with my hands, staring him in the eye for a moment before gently placing my lips on his. His arms wrapped around my waist while his lips moved against mine, returning the kiss. Warmth spread through me and I could feel that delicious tingle in my nether bits. He pushed himself off the bed while keeping our lips locked, and joined me on the floor. Somehow, he twisted us both around until he was lying underneath me, and I was stretched out on top of him, my legs on either side of his thighs. I liked this position.

I broke our kiss to better observe the satisfied look on his face. "Pretty proud of yourself, aren't you?"

"Yup."

Thankfully, he didn't pop the P or I would have lost all respect for him.

It seemed silly to keep talking, and I couldn't wait any longer to taste him again. I brought my lips back to his, savoring his sweet, tangy flavor. Wanting more, I licked his lips with my tongue, and he thoughtfully brought his out to join in. It was a few moments of tongue twisting before I realized my hips had started to grind against his, my body seeking something to move my tingling parts against. His hands grabbed my ass bringing me even closer, and I could feel him hard and long beneath me.

Frustrated, I wished he could read my mind so I could demand that he rip my clothes off at vampire speed without breaking our kiss. Since I was still a mental mute to him, I settled for grinding against him harder and whimpering in my throat, hoping he'd get the hint.

The message must have made it through as I felt his hands moving up my back, under my shirt, taking it up and exposing my skin. I'd just lifted my body up a bit to allow it to come off easier, when his hands abruptly disappeared from my skin and his head slammed down to the floor. A bit shocked at the loss of contact, I could only look stupidly at him, wondering what was going on.

He closed his eyes and whispered in a pained voice, "Your father's here."

"Ugh, you gotta be kidding me."

Shaking his head, he finally opened his eyes again, and I could see the frustration all over his face. I gave him a little grin and shrugged, "'Daddy's little girl is about to get some radar, I guess."

He laughed and brought us both up to our feet. "He's still at the top of the driveway; I'd say he's been exceptionally patient so far given the circumstances."

"Can you read his thoughts yet?"

"He's still in shock and not sure how to handle the situation. Esme explained about the door hitting him, and he's hesitant to think of her as a liar, but the story doesn't gel one hundred percent to him. Then there's the fact that in your entire lifetime, it seems he's never once had to discipline you, and now he has no clue how to handle this blatant transgression. So far, he's only managed to decide you're grounded for the rest of your life."

I laughed. "Grounded? What exactly is he going to do? I never go anywhere and I don't do anything. How do you ground a practically agoraphobic shut-in? Tell me I can't go to school? Oh, the horror."

Edward laughed along with me. I'm not exactly sure how we were both able to be light-hearted at a time like this given all that had gone on. Of course, leave it to me to remember that I actually shouldn't be laughing right now. Heck, I didn't even know what had happened after I was rescued or what happened here after I was taken.

"Hey, can you tell me what's been going on? What exactly did Esme tell my dad? What happened to James?"

Edward's eyes narrowed, and the expression on his face turned angrier than I'd ever seen it. For a moment, I was scared.

"When I realized you were no longer moving toward the car, I flung the front door open too fast. It came off the hinges and your father saw it happen. I'm sorry, but Carlisle had to knock your dad out. When he woke, he was told that the door had been broken, and it hit him when it came off the hinges. Esme also let him know that you and I ended up getting upset about the whole thing and flouncing off on our own in typical angsty teenage fashion."

I raised my eyebrows at him. "Excuse me; I never flounce."

"Well, now you do."

"Continue." I was still waiting to find out why he looked angry. Nothing was all that bad so far.

"That's it for your dad. Esme assured him that while she agreed we were behaving without consideration for their feelings, she knew we were both responsible and mature enough to handle one night away from home as far as keeping ourselves safe was concerned."

I felt myself flush. "You mean safe, as in safe sex?" I couldn't imagine Esme having that conversation with my dad.

"More like safe from bandits and the like."

"Okayyy, and my dad was really all right with that?" This didn't sound like my dad at all.

"No, not really, but there wasn't much he could do. According to what he heard from Esme, they trusted me but couldn't reach me and had no way of knowing where we'd gone. Searching for us would only make it worse, and she kind of let him know she wouldn't appreciate the police going after her son, even if he was with your dad's daughter. She can be very convincing when she wants. Plus, he was still a bit out of it from the hit to the head."

I winced; I'd forgotten they'd knocked him out.

"What about you guys rescuing me? How'd that happen?"

If anything, he looked even angrier now. I couldn't understand why.

"We tracked you."

I waited, but he only stared back at me.

"Well, come on, there's got to be more to it than that?"

He looked at me a moment longer, and then bowed his head into his hands as if the thoughts in his head were breaking him. I didn't understand what was wrong, but I hated to see him this way. I put a hand on top of his head and rubbed lightly, hoping it was soothing.

"Hey, what is it? It can't be that bad; I mean, it can't be worse than what I endured before you showed up."

After another moment, he finally raised his head and met my eyes again. They were bleak and more lifeless than I'd ever seen them.

"He's here, Bella."

Dumbly, I stared at him, unsure—or unwilling—to recognize who he was talking about.

"It's—it's—I don't know what the fuck is going on." He spit out the words and then abruptly spun away from me and grabbed at his hair as if he would pull it all out by the roots along with the answers. "Alice and Jasper won't let us kill him. Alice thinks he's her true mate, and Jasper refuses to kill something she loves. It's all fucking bullshit, but there's nothing I can do. The vampire mating bond is sacrosanct. I'd take you and just go, but we can't until we know exactly what's happening to you."

I was stunned. This was something I'd never expected.

"He's here? In this house?"

He turned back to me and nodded, the anger in his expression turning to sadness at having to give me this news.

I sat on the bed, dumbfounded, and tried to work my way through what I'd just been told. James, the vampire who had killed my mother and brutally tortured me, was a guest in the same house as my—I still didn't know what to call him, boyfriend? Mate?

Edward had turned away and was writing at vampire speed on piece of paper. He spun back to me and knelt before me, handing me the paper to read.

_Everyone in the house can hear us right now. Including James, Alice, and Jasper. James has the ability to cloak himself from anyone who hunts him. He doesn't have complete control of it; it's like the talent takes care of itself, it makes it so I can't read his mind, and so none of us can smell him. But James does have to concentrate on the talent for it to work. Right now, the talent has manipulated Alice into believing James is her mate, since that was what was needed for us to not kill him. No one knows this yet but me. He and Alice were intimate earlier, and he inadvertently dropped his concentration just long enough for me to see it all. He doesn't realize how much I saw. It's enough information for me to convince Jasper that it's okay to kill him. As soon as James is dead, Alice will no longer love him._

I finished reading and looked up at Edward, relieved that he had a plan, but still really fucking freaked that I was in the same house as James.

"I promise, as soon as we figure out what's happening with you, we'll leave. This will never be our home as long as he's here," Edward said.

I was confused for a moment, but Edward was writing again, and I looked back down at the paper.

_It will seem suspicious if we're not talking._

I nodded at Edward showing that I understood. "Where will we go?" I asked before grabbing the paper from Edward and writing words of my own.

_How will you convince Jasper without the others knowing? Won't Alice see if Jasper decides it's okay to kill James?_

_Alice can't see any of our futures right now since you're here. She had trouble seeing you before since you were so mercurial. Now that you're changing, you're not fully human, but not fully vampire. You're blind to her, and so is the future of anyone with you._

_Okay._

"Probably Alaska, where the other animal blood drinking vampires we know live."

My head was starting to hurt from trying to maintain two conversations at once. Abruptly, I remembered a moment ago my father had been at the top of the driveway. It was surreal how much had changed in the time it took him to make the drive from there to the house. Now that I knew James was here, my only thought was to get my dad as far away from here as possible.

"We need to get my dad to leave. Quickly. How do we do that?" I got up and started pacing, forgetting what eighteen years of clumsiness should have taught me; walking and trying to think at the same time was plain stupid for me. Thankfully, Edward caught me before I fell into his mirror.

"Careful." He sat me on the bed, and then started pacing himself. He was almost a blur as he swept from one of the room to the other.

He stopped for a moment, looked at me, shook his head, and then kept going. If the situation hadn't been so dire, it would have been comical watching him trying to think things through. But, dire is as dire does, and at that moment, there was a distinct knock at the door. The sound carried even up to Edward's third floor room.

"Nightstick." We both said at the same time.

Edward reached down to give me a hand up but then stopped and, his eyes unfocused for a moment before he grinned, and then he sat down next to me instead.

"Carlisle's got this. He told me we should stay up here. You're dad will be pissed, but at least he'll go. Carlisle's going to tell him they'd been monitoring my credit cards and a charge from a hotel in Seattle showed up. Esme has left to go talk some sense into us, but if the Chief wants, he can certainly join Esme in the retrieval of their wayward offspring."

"And what happens when he gets there and we're no where to be found?"

"Stolen wallet, happens all the time."

I breathed a sigh of relief. There'd still be a reckoning, but if we could push it off till later, then all the better. Honestly, I'd rather deal with the psychotic vampire than my sure to be disappointed and angry father.

Edward listened a bit longer and then let me know my dad was gone.

With my dad out of the picture for a bit, it was time once again to consider the James and Alice issue. Unfortunately, right then another presence made itself known. I turned bright scarlet when my stomach chose that moment to remind us all quite loudly that I was still mostly human and in need of food from time to time.

Edward smirked. "Good thing we don't make noises like that when we're thirsty. The gig would have been up long ago."

"Shut-up. It's been like twelve hours since I've eaten. I'm entitled to a little gastronomical interference."

He reached over and ruffled my hair. "Of course you are. Let's go see if we can hunt you up something to eat."

I nodded, and we both headed out the door to go downstairs. I paused a bit before entering the hallway. Edward's room had felt like a cocoon of sorts, our own special place. Now, I was entering space shared by the rest of the people in the house, including James. Thankfully, Edward could sense my reluctance and gave me a sweet kiss before wrapping an arm around me and whispering, "I've got you." Indeed, he did.

Slowly walking in tandem, we headed down the two flights of stairs to the lowest level. Edward showed me into the kitchen and guided me to a stool before dashing to the fridge. Looking very human, he opened it up and looked in, exactly like my dad would do when he was hoping for something to have magically appeared in there when he knew we hadn't gotten anything different from the last time he checked.

With a chagrined look on his face, Edward shrugged his shoulders. "Completely empty. The shelves haven't even been unwrapped and installed yet."

"Were you really expecting food to be in there?"

He looked sad, and I was very confused until he replied. "If Alice was herself, there would have been food in there. You'd have clean clothes in my room and a toothbrush. She would have seen that you were going to need all sorts of human things and would have loved the chance to shop for them and make you feel at home."

His expression turned pensive before he continued. "All the times she's interfered with what I thought was our best course, or even little shit like calling me while I was on my way to one hunting spot to tell me to go to another-I always thought I hated it—I wanted to do stuff for myself. Now that she's not doing those things, it's like she's not here anymore, even though she's right upstairs."

I was about to reply, when the hurt look on his face was replaced by one of anger.

"And now?"

His eyes looked to the ceiling for a moment before coming back to meet mine. "I've just been informed that I need to get used to the fact I no longer have a willing servant to guide my every move, and I need to learn to live without."

"James?" I asked, understanding that someone must have communicated to Edward in thoughts.

"No, Alice," he muttered, still upset.

I could tell from the way he was acting, they must have been close before all this happened. His feelings were hurt. It wasn't that she wasn't doing things for him; it was that her influence on his daily life was missing. He missed her. She was a fucking idiot if she couldn't see that—or in denial.

Wanting to distract him, I was about to suggest calling out for pizza when his expression grew even angrier, and he moved like lightning to stand in front of me, before dropping down into an aggressive crouch and growling. Not being a total idiot, I figured out what must be about to happen real quick, and pressed myself to his back, keeping my eyes pointed to the floor so I didn't have to see what walked through the kitchen door.

"Well, well, well. If it isn't my little human and her protector. Hasn't this gone on long enough? I'm part of the family now, after all. I can find it within myself to share, I'm sure. Can't you?"

James. He talked to Edward like I was a toy to be shared among children.

"Manipulating my sister doesn't make you part of the family, you bastard. Leave. Now."

A new voice chimed in. "Stop it, Edward. Look, I know you're not happy about this. At least he's one of us, though, not some week little human. Don't you think it's time you found yourself a real mate and stopped playing this sick, disgusting game with your food?"

Alice turned to me then, the look on her face was dark and menacing. Her eyes were pitch black, and as I watched, her tongue darted out to lick her lips as her gaze traveled up and down my body.

"She's small; won't be enough in her for more than a taste for each of us, but she smells scrumptious."

She turned to Edward then. "You owe me, big brother. Give her to me."

Edward growled low and deep in response. I could feel the floor vibrate with it. Before he could say anything, though, several more bodies entered the kitchen and got between us and them. It was the rest of Edward's family, save Jasper, and I was very happy to see them align themselves in a stance that offered even greater protection for Edward and I. The kitchen had seemed very large only moments before; now it was filled to the brim with crouching, growling vampires. They formed a line in front of Edward and I: Esme and Rosalie on the ends, Carlisle and Emmett in the middle. I could no longer see Alice and James, which provided much comfort.

"Alice." Carlisle spoke her name with great sadness, but resolve. "While greatly disappointed in your treatment of Jasper, I'd still been hopeful you'd see the error of your ways regarding your intention of going to a traditional diet. I will always consider you my daughter, but this home is not welcome to you if you intend to feed on humans, especially if you're going to be a danger to your brother's mate."

I heard her gasp. "You're going to choose the human over me, your so-called daughter? How can you say we're family when you feel that way? Do these humans you love so much often forsake their children for the cows in their pasture?"

"Oh, cut the shit, Alice." Rosalie. "You make me sick. How could you do this to Jasper? I even heard you fucking him with no care for your real mate who was right down the hall. And now you think you can convince us all of a sudden to turn our backs on our humanity? Look in the mirror, bitch. You're not going to see the image of a cow looking back at you. We were human once, and that's why we don't feed from them. You know this!" She screamed the last, obviously angry and hurt with her sibling.

"Yes, we may look like them, but no one here can deny they are what we're meant to feed from." James had broken in with his slimy, disgusting voice. If vampires ever needed a used car salesman, he'd be it. "Our appearance is our camouflage, nothing more. It's not meant to keep them safe from us, it's meant to make it easier for us to feed.

"Darling, Rosalie, you beautiful, vivacious creature. You've been brainwashed terribly. Join us and see what being a vampire is meant to be. Alice has told me of your constant sadness and longing for a child. That will all end if you start feeding on human blood like you should. You'll finally see the glory of being a vampire, the incredible strength and power flowing through your body. Never again will you long for something as trite and commonplace as a human whelp. You can't tell me that doesn't tempt you?"

She snorted. "You think you know me simply because my traitor of a sister told you a bit? Obviously, she mentioned nothing of my love and loyalty for this family. They are what keep me sane; they are what sustain me. Not blood. I have all I need right here, and she did, too, until you came along and manipulated her. Make no mistake, she's going to come to her senses. And when she does, we're going to end you."

I could have listened to Rosalie berate him all night long. Her voice was strong and sure, without a hint of doubt. The disdain she had for him had to have been like a stabbing dagger to his inordinate haughtiness.

"Suit yourself," he said. His words must have been meant to be indifferent, but his frustration was clear in his voice. "We've another matter to discuss, however. The human back there cowering behind the red-head belongs to me. Her blood calls to me like no other; clearly, she's my singer. Or, as the Volturi call it, mi tua cantante. Now, many vampires are aware of our main law, that of never being discovered by the humans, which you've clearly broken already. Lesser known, perhaps, but no less valid, is the law governing singers. When a vampire finds his singer, he has ultimate ownership over that human, and no other vampire can claim a stronger bond. I know this as I've been to Volterra to research since discovering this girl as a child. You'll turn her over to me now, and we'll be on our way. Deny me, and we'll be on the first plane to Italy to inform the three of your lawlessness."

Carlisle replied, "That may have all been true, at one time. However, the law regarding singers no longer applies. Bella is already in the midst of her transformation into vampire. I'm surprised you aren't able to tell, given how strongly her blood calls to you. I would expect the differences to be obvious. Maybe she's not your singer after all, hmm?"

It was strange, the words were in Carlisle's voice, but it was a tone I'd never heard from the genteel man before. Albeit, I hadn't known him long, but he almost sounded taunting, instead of the calm, urbane manner I'd come to associate with him.

James started to argue back, but Carlisle continued speaking right over him.

"You know what, Jasper?" Carlisle said, using a more conversational tone to address the missing vampire of the group. I didn't now where in the house he was, but knew he'd have been able to hear all this no matter where he was located. "It wouldn't surprise me in the slightest if this vampire's control over your mate wasn't related to his talent and not her true feelings at all. Watching him now, listening to him speak, seeing how he moves and reacts, it's clear Bella is all he's still concerned with. All the rest is camouflage for his true intention—and camouflage is his talent, is it not?"

Edward squeezed my hand, acknowledging that Carlisle was speaking aloud what we'd surmised privately in Edward's room. The four in front of us started moving forward, forming more of an arc instead of a line, and I was finally able to see what they were doing as they started to push James and Alice towards the far wall.

"I'm completely in control of my own mind, Carlisle. James is who I want; you're trying to make me jealous and angry of the human girl. It won't work."

"Alice, look at me." Jasper had entered the room to the side of where Alice and James now stood. He sounded broken and despondent but ready to grasp onto the small branch of hope Carlisle had extended to him.

"Why, Jasper? So you can see for yourself how I no longer feel anything for you?" She'd turned to him, and was looking at him with contempt, like he was something she'd dragged in on the bottom of her five hundred dollar shoes.

Jasper tilted his head to the side a bit, analyzing everything he saw in her face. She started to look a bit unsure, and turned to James as if for guidance.

"Look at me!" Jasper roared at her, snapping her attention back to him. He stalked forward then and grabbed her chin with his hand. James moved to intervene, but Emmett and Rosalie quickly had him pinned. I could feel Edward practically buzzing next to me, wanting to get into the fray, but my attention was riveted on Alice and Jasper. It was almost as if you could see an electrical current going from one to the other.

"Emmett!" Edward suddenly shouted out to his larger brother. "Break his concentration! Rip an arm off or something."

Emmett grinned widely, and did exactly as Edward asked, yanking up and away on the arm he held till it separated from the body. He threw the arm behind him and instead grasped James by the throat, keeping him immobile. James's cry of pain went completely ignored as we all watched to see what would happen with Alice. We weren't disappointed. Her face crumpled, but she leapt into Jasper's arms and took his face in her small hands, alternating between frantically kissing him, telling him she loved him, and apologizing over and over, all at hyper vampire speed. Jasper practically shone with joy at having her back with him.

The rest of the family needed no other prompting; James was quickly dismembered like he was nothing more than cardboard and the pieces thrown out into the yard where they were shortly fed to a quickly built but roaring fire. Euphoria flowed through my body, and I copied Alice by jumping into Edward's embrace and kissing him with everything I had, desperate to show him my love and happiness. Finally, it was over.


	16. Chapter 16

For about the hundredth time today, I sniffed Bella's neck, reveling in her glorious scent. She smelled so good!

Enclosed in my arms with my nose practically burrowing into her skin like a hamster, she giggled and squirmed in my arms.

"Stop it already; you know that tickles!"

"Nope, can't do it, sorry." I wasn't really sorry. Who knew how much longer she'd smell this way. Her change from human to vampire had come to an abrupt halt, leaving her still mostly human but with subtle differences that only a vampire could detect. The most obvious was her smell. Before, she'd smelt delicious, of course. Even if she wasn't my singer, I'd still spent many a moment fantasizing about taking a few sips here and there. When close to her, my throat would burn, and I could never fully let down my guard. Now, her scent had gone from being mouth-venoming to cock-lengthening. I could work with that.

Speaking of my cock..."Maybe I'll stop if you stop grinding that luscious derrière of yours on my tortured member."

"Okay, I'll stop."

_Shit._ "Don't you dare!"

More giggles and then she resumed her slow, sensuous movements in my lap. If only I had some spare boxers, I could let things progress to their natural conclusion. Unfortunately, while the janitor's closet included a lovely selection of cleaning supplies and an impressively horrid odor, it did not have a spare pare of Calvin Klein's.

_Look to your left on the middle shelf, dumb ass. You can't smell cotton anymore?_

Alice. Sure enough, a neatly folded pair of boxers presented themselves to me. I shuddered to think about what she saw for her to put them there.

Abruptly, Bella's movements stopped again. "Did I hurt you?"

"What? No, of course not. Sorry; Alice sent me a thought that skeeved me out a bit."

She got a contemplative look in her eye. "Of course not? That area isn't sensitive on you like on a human?"

"Why, do you want to be able to do me harm?" I laughed. "If another vampire knees me there, I'll be upchucking gobs of venom. Your sweet tush isn't going to do anything other than make it grow and spit."

"Hmm-like a cobra-I like that."

Her softness started moving on me again, and this time I was able to let things take their natural course-until I realized Alice was more than likely watching us right now.

_Stop being your own cock-blocker. My brother getting a reverse cowgirl dry-hump isn't exactly high priority viewing material for me._

She had a point.

"Mm, now I know what all the fuss over lap dances is about."

"It's different for you, though."

"Why, because I'm a vampire?"

"No, because you're allowed to touch me, too."

_Why, yes, I was._

Taking the hint, I snaked a hand under her shirt and cupped one of her soft breasts in my hand. It fit perfect, like her boob and my palm were meant to be together. A quiet groan slipped out of her mouth letting me know she liked my touch. The fabric of her bra was still between us, and I simply couldn't allow that situation to continue. With surprisingly expert manipulation, considering my lack of experience, I manged to slide my hand in between the offending—but, I'm sure, very attractive—lace and her silky skin.

All of Bella's skin was soft, perfect, and precious to me. But this firm mound of flesh was entirely different, and I was having a really hard time determining why. Maybe it was the way her nipple pebbled up at my touch or the way her heart beat sped up; I'm almost positive it was in no small part due to the scent of her arousal saturating the room. This small action by me was affecting every part of her body-bringing her pleasure, strengthening our connection. Gently, I massaged her, and learned through all her reactions exactly what she liked. All the while, she kept up her movements in my lap, and I could tell she was trying to learn from me the same way as each involuntary moan she wrung from me lead to a bit of an increase in her movements—a shift here, a nudge there—until I was about out of my mind with it all.

"More, mm, please, more."

I wanted to; oh, how I wanted to. But we were in a closet, and class was starting in a few minutes. Sadly, we were both going to be left wanting for the afternoon until evening.

"Love, I'm sorry. We let this get too far, I think. We have to get going to class."

Her movements abruptly stopped, and she sat up in my lap as if coming awake from a deep sleep.

"Oh, fuck! I completely forgot where we were. This is supposed to be your bedroom, not the janitor's closet. Yuck." She was not pleased.

Reluctantly, I withdrew my hand from under her shirt and started rubbing her back. "I know, but we'll have tonight after your dad goes to bed."

She shifted in my lap until she was sideways and able to face me. Her hand came up to rest on my cheek while her forehead touched mine. "Tonight then," she said, before giving me a soft kiss.

Bella stood up and then extended a hand with a sheepish grin on her face. It was beyond cute how she still felt the need to treat me as human even though she knew I hardly needed assistance up off the floor. She still couldn't get herself something to drink or eat without offering me something. "Just in case," she always said.

"Just in case I happened to feel like vomiting up disgusting bits of food?" was my usual reply.

"How do we want to do this?" she asked. "Sneaky or bold as brass?"

I swung open the door and pulled her behind me into the hallway. "No worries, my dear, my super vamp senses assured me the coast was clear. Our nooner remains a secret." I smiled at her as she turned bright pink and kicked me in the shin.

"It's no nooner if we don't go all the way."

"Practice nooner then, if you will."

"Whatever." She grabbed my hand and started towing me to biology class.

Biology was it's usual scintillating self. Mr. Banner had been spending an exorbitant amount of time playing Bejeweled on Facebook the night before, leaving him without a planned lesson. Thus, we became the lucky recipients of a visit from the AV geek squad rolling in an ancient CRT television, not even a flat screen, and VCR.

As the opening credits to Lorenzo's Oil lit the screen, the lights went out, and I heard a whispered, "Goodnight," from Bella before she closed her eyes and took the opportunity to catch up on the sleep she'd been missing. I'd been spending every night in her room since she'd finally gone back home to her father back on Tuesday afternoon, and it was always the same: she refused to fall asleep until it literally became impossible for her to hold her eyes open any longer. She was logging about two hours a night, and it was starting to show.

This past week hadn't been easy on her, and it was the little moments when we could let everything go and simply enjoy each other that really restored her. Necking in the janitor's closet wasn't anywhere near good enough for her, but when it was the only way we could be close and touch during the day, that's what we did. The rest of her time was spent worrying about her dad, worrying about our future, and constant self-analysis of her every physical attribute.

Tuesday afternoon had been the hardest. We'd finally had to face the music with her dad, and it hadn't been fun. He'd lectured us all—my parents, me, Bella, and even my siblings. Threats were made-long term drawn out threats-and Bella could only look at him sadly since, at the time, we thought she had, at the most, a couple weeks left as her dad's human daughter before we'd have to take her away from him. She took everything he dished out with understanding and compassion, as did me and our family, because we knew what he was facing. Unfortunately, our tender regard for his tirade only made things worse. He was itching for a fight and was in the wrong place to get it. Finally, frustrated and so angry we worried for his health, he took Bella home. My brothers and I followed in the woods, afraid he'd continue yelling at Bella as he drove and get in an accident. Amazingly, they made it home in one piece, and her father finally managed to calm down before delivering his final edict: she was never to be with me again. That was when Bella began to talk.

Emmett, Jasper, and I could only sit there and sink further and further into sadness as we listened. It was especially hard on Jasper, as the emotion from the house practically crippled him.

"Do you remember the love you had for Mom?" she'd asked.

_Pain...love...anguish._

"Do you remember how happy you were every time you'd come home and see her waiting for you?"

_She was so beautiful; it never ceased to amaze me that I could always make her smile._

"Do you remember how slow the days were as you waited to go home to her?"

_Staring at the clock in my car or on my office wall. Remembering some crazy thing you and her had done the day before and laughing to myself no matter who was looking._

"What about how she felt in your arms? When you'd hug her and kiss her?"

_Why is she doing this to me? Does she really think I'd ever forget how soft she was? How amazing she smelled? I'll always remember the way she'd give a little tiny nip of my lower lip before ending a kiss or how no hug was complete without a pat on my butt. Fuck, of course I'll never forget._

Bella had been sobbing then, but every word still came out clear.

"Do you remember after she was gone? How that felt?"

_I can't take this right now. How dare she compare my feelings for Renee to some teenage flash in the pan crush? Part of me died that day, and I'll never get it back. I don't want it back; it's hers to keep in heaven. I'm only here to raise this daughter of ours, and now she's trying to kill me._

Hearing his thoughts had been agonizing; it was as if Bella's mother had died only a few weeks ago instead of ten years. Their love must have been incredibly intense; he was one of the few humans who actually did stand a chance of understanding the bond Bella and I share.

"Dad, he's that for me. He's the one that makes me feel that way. And if I can't be with him, then it'll be like how you were when Mom died. Please, I know you probably think this is some weird teenage crush. Maybe you think what we did was only a sign of our immaturity and impulsiveness. Nothing could be further from the truth."

The chief tried to deny her words, tried to tell her it was exactly as she knew he thought, but the thoughts died in his mind before leaving his mouth when faced with the weight of emotions coming from her.

Jasper tried to lighten the mood inside, but I stopped him. As much as it hurt to watch her go through this, they needed it. They'd kept the sorrow that still existed within at Renee's loss buried for too long, neither wanting to burden the other. It was time to get it out into the open.

He pulled her into a crushing hug and tried to calm her down. "Okay, baby, okay. We'll figure something out. Okay."

Still in his arms, unable to see his face, she said the one thing she'd been the most afraid to tell him. "I'm not ready to leave you yet, Daddy. Anything else, I'll do. Whatever punishment, it's fine. But don't make me choose, please. Because it'll be him. It will always be him."

I'll never tell Bella exactly what went through his mind at that moment; I don't think she'll ever ask, though. His heart broke even more that day. It's the heartbreak every parent goes through at the realization they are no longer the most important person in their child's life. For the chief, he'd had no warning; it had come out of nowhere, and the pain was extreme. But the man earned my undying respect and gratitude when he didn't breath a word of it to his daughter. He only hugged her tighter and assured her she'd never have to choose; he'd always be there for her, and if I was really that important to her then he wouldn't keep us apart. It cost him a lot to say those words, and I'm sure Bella heard how difficult it was for him to say them.

At that point, I'd asked Emmett and Jasper to return home. I felt Bella would need me after speaking with her father, and I wanted to wait for her in her room. It was going to be a while; I could tell. They were all over the place now, talking about Bella's mom, he admonishing her again for her disappearing act, she trying to reassure him. In the meantime, she made him dinner and they ate and then continued the conversation while a football game played in the background. I could hear the fatigue in both their voices and hoped for their sake they'd take a break soon. The emotional day had drained them well beyond exhaustion.

Eventually, Bella did come up to her room as her father settled in to watch the second half of the game. I'd gathered her in my arms and hummed to her as she sobbed again, the extra anguish she couldn't let her father see, the anguish she felt when she thought of her uncertain future.

I turned to look at her now as she sat slumped in her chair, little snore like sniffles coming from her partially open mouth, and again could find no sign of any further change. It was hard to quantify, but near as we could tell, she'd changed maybe twelve percent of the way. Her skin was still pliant but a touch more resilient. Her brown eyes had a tiny touch of crimson around the pupil; honestly, it was really kind of hot. I didn't tell her that, though. Probably the most positive change was she hadn't tripped or stumbled since that evening.

We didn't know what was going on. From the time we'd brought her to our home, she'd been changing-slowly and without pain, thankfully-but changing all the same. Now, she was stuck somewhere in between human and vampire. She didn't want blood, yet human food had become more of a chore to eat than enjoyable. Her heart beat, and she still had to breathe, but she could hold her breath for up to five minutes. The best part was she hadn't changed enough for a human to notice. The worst part-we didn't know if she was going to stay this way or if the change would resume. It was a very big risk to have her back in the human world in case something happened to reveal our secret. On the other hand, the upheaval it would cause for her to disappear now was best avoided if we could, and it looked like that was the case for now.

The only certainty was I loved her, and she loved me. We'd be together through it all and take it minute by minute. As much as possible we were going to find ways to get a bit of fun and pleasure out of each day, since there was no way to know if or when the shit would hit the fan.

When we were down to the last five minutes of class, I nudged Bella awake so she'd have time to get herself together before her next class. At least gym was a bit easier for her now. The teacher thought it was due to her own skills, which I supposed was better than assuming her student was slowly transforming into the undead.

Bella woke up looking a bit more refreshed than when class had started and gave me a shy smile. "I was dreaming about you."

"Really?" I said, wanting to hear more.

"Mm, I'll have to tell you about it later."

Now that wasn't fair. She about guaranteed I'd spend the rest of the day fantasizing about all the things she may have dreamed about. Knowing her wicked sense of humor, it was probably going to end up being imagining me eating pizza or something equally disgusting.

The bell rang, and I gave her a brief kiss at the door before we headed our separate ways. Spanish required zero involvement from me ever since the teacher realized I knew the language better than she did. I decided to spend my time coming up with my own "dreams." Lacking the ability to sleep, I'd been spending a lot of time since meeting Bella engaged in various fantasies of a more sordid nature than perhaps was proper. After nearly a century of celibacy, though, I was tired of always being a gentleman.

My favorite fantasy involved a certain human girl, a bear skin rug, and a hot summer day. Due to Emmett's fascination with bears, we had so many rugs they were practically coming out of our asses. Still, they had their uses, the fur being soft and thick. The hot summer day, well, that was simply an added luxury to what I was sure would already be an exquisite experience. I couldn't be sure, but I had a feeling the hotter Bella was on the outside, the warmer she'd feel on the inside, and against my cold skin, well, there was all sorts of room for incredible sensation there. Any sweating she might do would be an added bonus for my tongue.

I would take her to my spot, the little meadow I'd discovered that appeared to have been carved out of a springtime Monet painting. The rug would be laid down so the thick stems from the flowers would not scratch my beloved's back. Taking her hand, I would coax her onto the covering, plying her mouth with kisses while running my fingers through her silken hair. Corny, I know.

Then, I'd gently tug her down to the rug until we were kneeling before each other. As if I was opening the world's most precious gift, I'd gently remove her shirt...

Okay, yeah, this is not my real fantasy. I'll be honest. My real fantasy involves bending her over the closest surface and hearing her scream my name while I stroke long and deep inside her hot body. I want to grab her tits and roll her nipples between my fingers until she begs me to stop and never stop at the same time. My tongue aches to be inside her pussy, tasting her very essence. And when she's absolutely spent, I want to sink my teeth into a pulsing artery and drink until she falls into a languid sleep beside me with my cock still inside her and a sleepy smile on her face. I was a vampire; there was no fantasy involving sex with a human that wasn't going to involve blood, even if her scent didn't burn my throat anymore.

But, yeah, maybe the meadow thing would be cool, too, once we'd had a chance to really let loose for a few decades and were ready to slow down. I think my fantasies depended in part on who I heard have sex last. Carlisle and Esme made gentle sound fabulous...right up until I'd hear Rose and Emmett go at it. Obviously, all this exposure to sex while getting none myself hampered my development significantly. I'd just have to make sure we tried it all different ways until we figured out what we liked best. Maybe I'd bring a desk to the meadow? Oh, well, I still had thirty-two minutes of class left to figure it out.


	17. Chapter 17

**A/N: Sorry again for the long delay! We're getting near the end now, and I didn't want to leave Jacob and Leah's story unfinished, so we're jumping to them now. When we last left the pack, they'd helped with Bella's escape from James and then gone back to the reservation. The following takes place a few days after when we last left Edward and Bella. Word of warning, this chapter is one that earns the M rating...**

**~Jacob~**

The fire's stench made my stomach roll, but I stayed within inches of the flames determined to make sure nothing escaped. We hadn't spent several sleepless nights and suffered multiple broken bones only to let the leeches slither from the pyre when we weren't looking. We'd gotten the male early. He'd been simple, but the red head had taken much longer; it was like trying to chase liquid smoke the way she'd sneak through the smallest of spaces. Once we'd finally cornered her, she fought back like nothing we'd ever seen and all of our injuries came solely from her. The circle we'd formed around the pit wouldn't disperse until the last ember had flickered out.

I looked across the flames and found Leah looking back at me. Feeling like a punk for noticing, I couldn't help admire the way her skin glowed in the moon light. Despite her raggedy tank top and cut offs, she still seemed to channel an ancient native princess. The fact she was mine boggled my mind, especially when she'd never actually felt like mine; she was still an entity unto herself, determined to never be part of an 'us' or 'them.' She'd told me her identity was too precarious after the split with Sam. She wasn't ready to go from being Sam's girlfriend to my girlfriend without any break in between. While she was unable to avoid being my imprint, she still maintained that agreeing to an actual relationship would be her choice, and she wasn't having any of it.

Going along with her notions was tough when all I wanted was to bind her to me in every way possible. My instinct to install her in my home and always know what she was doing and where she was didn't give a shit she wasn't willing―wasn't a normal imprint. I was meant to protect my imprint, but she was the only imprint who didn't actually need protecting. My desire for her never let up, but she would wait until it became absolutely unbearable before giving in. She point blank told me she knew she was being a selfish bitch; she didn't care. It wasn't like there'd ever come a time when we wouldn't want each other or could escape the need to be together. As far as she was concerned, since she didn't have to do anything to make me want her, then there was no reason for her to put forth the effort. She had a license to be a bitch, and she was using it.

There was another future I often saw for myself; the one I'd expected all along. It had never been very firm or something I'd felt an urge for right away, only a hazy vision of a happy wife, one or two children, and a small home on the Res. I'd fix cars, she'd do whatever it was she enjoyed, and we'd be no different from the rest of the families here. Maybe I'd drink too much sometimes, maybe she'd spend too much money; my imagination didn't extend very far beyond stereo-type. After all, I was still much too young for any of it. Now, all I had to look forward to seemed to be strife and misery. While I understood Leah's side of things, I couldn't help but wonder why the fuck she'd want this for herself. I certainly didn't. If our only option was each other, didn't it make sense to try everything we could to enjoy being together? Why didn't she get that?

Eventually, the flames started to sputter and die down. We were afraid to do anything to put the fire out prematurely; even knowing nothing remained capable of hurting anyone, we were fearful all the same of any unknown limits to a vampire's regenerative capabilities. Finally, when there was nothing left, we gathered all the ashes and spread them into the water to be absolutely safe.

When we got back to the pit, our win kind of sunk in all at once, and we all started whooping and hollering like a bunch of crazy people. We'd proven we could do it; we could keep our village and town safe from our worst enemy. Unable to help myself, I leaped over the pit and grabbed Leah in my arms, spinning her around before kissing her startled face. She kicked me in the shin and demanded I put her down, but I didn't care and simply gently lowered her before wrapping my arms around her and really giving the kiss everything I had. If I could kill vampires, I could get this proud, ferocious girl to want me.

A vicious knee to my nut sack put an end to the fantasy.

"You don't get to ask this of me, so get out of here, and leave me alone. Isn't it enough that I'm here, and I feel bad? Why do you have to come here and make it worse? Don't you get it? You being here and pushing me into another man's arms―it's like you're smearing salt into every wound you've given me. Do you get off on this or something? Does it make you feel even more big and bad to know how much pain you can make me feel?"

"No! Of course not! Leah, you have to let this go. You and I weren't meant for each other. If we were, we'd be imprinted. Shit, I was ready to marry you and start a family. You were it for me. Then the whole wolf thing happened, and I had to hide it from you. I know you felt the separation, but my feelings for you hadn't changed one bit then. I wanted you and loved you every bit as much, and it killed me to keep everything from you. But then your cousin showed up, and everything just—I don't know—shifted. One moment I had this amazing bond to you, and then the next, it was shattered, and everything I was became tied to Emily. I know now, this is what love for our kind is. And if you'd just let yourself, you'd feel it, too, and see. I wouldn't be anything to you anymore other than a fond memory. Don't you want that? Why won't you let it happen?"

"You arrogant prick, why the fuck do you think I'm here? That's really swell it was so easy for you to let me go. But what fucking right do you have to accuse me of choosing this and making it all my fault? You think all I have to do is snap my fingers and everything I felt for you will switch to him? Maybe it was like that for you because you never felt the same about me as I did for you. Maybe it's because Jake and I are both wolves. Whatever it is, I'm doing the best I can, so you can just get the fuck out and go back to your precious Emily."

What was I hearing? Ugh, my mouth tasted like an elephant had used it for a toilet bowl. And why did my brain all of a sudden feel ten sizes too big for my skull?

I shook my head to try and clear the cobwebs and immediately regretted it as my eyeballs nearly rolled back into my head at the pain.

Hangover. I had the mother-fucker of all hangovers. It was coming back to me now. After Leah's oh-so-gentle treatment of the family jewels, the guys who'd witnessed my humiliation had thoughtfully plied me with bucket-fulls of hard liquor. Due to our fast metabolism, we had to drink huge amounts to get drunk, and we were up to the challenge last night.

I must have passed out at some point because I certainly didn't remember coming home to bed, and I had no clue why Leah and Sam were arguing in the other room. Why was she even here? Mentally, I went over all the stuff I'd heard them shout at each other. They certainly hadn't been trying to keep quiet for my sake. I winced at the pain I'd heard in Leah's voice. She wasn't kidding; Sam really was slicing her heart to ribbons when he tried to get her to give in to me. It sucked. I agreed with him but felt awful for her at the same time.

My head was rapidly feeling better as my body burned off the rest of the alcohol, and my balls had long since stopped aching. Now, all I cared about was my hurting mate, and I needed to do something about it, even if I didn't know what. I couldn't sit here and pretend I didn't hear their conversation; it felt too much like eavesdropping.

Gingerly, I twisted around and placed both feet on the floor. When my head didn't roll of my shoulders and plop on the floor, I figured the worst was over and pushed off the bed. I felt a bit weak, but other than that, okay. A big breakfast was all I needed to fix me up. The succulent smell of bacon permeated the room, and I wondered who'd cooked since I knew our cupboards had gone bare during all the crazy vampire shit.

I wandered out into the living room and found Sam on the couch holding his head in his hands and rubbing his temples. Leah was across the room by the open door, glaring at him. Apparently, she was ready for him to leave, but he wasn't done trying to convince her of the error of her ways.

"Hey."

They both whipped around to glare at me; guess they didn't realize I'd come in.

"Uhm, I smell bacon, and I'm kind of hungry . . . so, I'm just going to go into the kitchen and see if I can find the food and eat and, yeah, uh, whatever." I could hear myself stammering like an idiot but had no idea what to say right now to these two. It was pretty fucking embarrassing my alpha had to be here in the first place to argue my case, and I had no clue how to deal with Leah's emotional load right now.

"Jacob, would you please explain to Sam here that it's about time he went on home and left us alone?"

Both of us turned to look at her in shock. She wanted to be alone with me?

"Do you mind, Sam?" I asked, hesitant to tell him to go since he was my alpha and all, but I wanted to know what Leah was up to now.

He looked at both of us before shaking his head and walking to the door. He stopped at the threshold and turned back. "Look, we're not under the gun now, and no one has to run patrols or phase. I've asked everyone to stay in human form till you both have this resolved, so you have privacy no matter what form you have to be in. Try to work it out, please?" I winced, not wanting to think about another wolf sex session but knowing it was inevitable unless she agreed to do it human.

I nodded at him, but Leah only continued her glare, looking even more murderous than before. He seemed like he wanted to say something else to her but then turned and finally left.

With only the two of us in the house, the silence grew oppressive fast, and I awkwardly shifted my gaze between the floor and the kitchen, not sure what the right thing to do was.

"Come on, I didn't spend time cooking for you only to see it go to waste."

She cooked for me?

"You cooked for me?"

She stomped by me, snarling on the way by, "Yeah, I felt bad for crushing your nuts. Don't get used to it unless you want to end up a eunuch."

Not likely.

"Uhm, thanks?"

"Whatever. Come on, I'm not going to reheat it."

Finally, I made it to the kitchen, and my mouth started to water immediately. She'd made eggs, bacon, home fries, and big, thick french toast. It was a fucking feast, and I swear by the smell alone it was almost worth the kick to the balls. Almost. Her cousin had a reputation for being an awesome cook, but this smelled way better than anything I'd had from Emily's kitchen. Maybe it was because I knew she'd made it for me alone. It was the first nice thing she'd done for me, and it meant more than I could tell her right now without her getting pissed off at me again.

"Wow, thanks, this is great!" I winced at my over-enthusiasm, but I wanted to make sure she knew I appreciated all she'd done.

She shook her head at me, almost looking like she might smile. "Hey, don't go too crazy. Some of it's for me, too."

I gave her a grin before grabbing a plate and loading it up as much as I could. She filled another one with every bit as much food, and we met at the table.

Awkwardly, we sat and started to eat. She seemed uncomfortable with her kind gesture, and I wasn't sure if I could talk to her without getting my head bit off. The food was excellent, though, so I kept shoveling it in, deciding the whole 'ladies first' thing would work here, and I'd wait to see if she wanted to talk before saying anything.

We continued in silence for a while before she finally put her fork down and started.

"Do you really think we could possibly be happy?"

Shit, talk about a tough question.

"Fuck, I don't know. We've never liked each other, but I think if we don't give it a shot, we'll only regret it. I mean, we kind of don't have a choice, do we? If we continue like we are, we have no chance. At least if we try, you never know what could happen. Does that make any sense at all?" I was talking out of my ass, but she'd sprung this on me suddenly, and I hadn't had time to come up with anything better.

She looked at me as if I was some sort of odd creature she'd found in front of her, but at least it wasn't her typical glare.

"What about the sex thing?"

The bite of french toast I'd just taken suddenly lodged in my throat, and I had to cough like crazy in order to breath again. Why was she putting that on me? She was the one who refused to do it human. Did she really possibly think I didn't want to?

"Yeah, I figured that's about how you felt about it," she said before looking down at her plate. Fuck, she thought I'd gotten sick at the thought of screwing her. Dammit, could we make this any more difficult?

I got up and walked over to her chair before squatting down to bring us eye-to-eye. "Leah, there's nothing I want more than to do things the right way―the human way―with you. I thought you didn't want to?"

She met my gaze head on. "I didn't, but I thought you didn't, either. I figured you had to be disgusted by the way I looked, and just because you were forced to be with me, didn't mean you found me attractive. It sucks; the whole wolf thing makes you guys all fuckhot and turns me into a freak."

I'd known she wasn't happy with the changes her body had made after phasing, but how could she not know how much we all lusted after her trim, athletic shape? Her muscles were long and lean, not big and bulky like ours; she was still very much a girl. It didn't make sense; she'd been in our heads millions of times yet didn't realize what those few accidental sightings of her naked body did to us. Maybe I hadn't pushed things hard enough with her since I wasn't sure I could compete with her memories of Sam. He'd always been able to satisfy her, and here I was, a fucking pathetic virgin for all intents and purposes.

One thing about Leah, she'd always appreciated people being as direct and to the point as possible. It was time for me to be a man and show my mate exactly what I wanted to do with her. Even though I lacked experience, I'd seen enough in Sam's head to know what she liked, and I was ready to give that to her. One of her complaints about being imprinted to me was my age. Sam was a man; I was a boy. No more.

I stood up and took her hand, tugging her up off the chair while begging her with my eyes to cooperate. She stood, and I pulled her right up against me. There was no way she could miss that I was rock-hard and ready to show her just how attractive I found her. She was tall, but I was still taller.

But she wasn't an idiot, and a hard dick wasn't going to be enough to convince her. She continued to look at me but shrugged her shoulders, and I knew she was only trying to say the erection was the imprint and not me―not us.

Slowly, I walked her backwards until she was up against the wall, and then I took both her wrists in one hand and drew them up over her head. Smiling at her, I slid my free hand down one of her arms, then her side, and settled it behind her, right above her ass.

"I fucking love this," I said. "Your wrists look all dainty and sweet, yet I know if you wanted to, you could pull free without breaking a sweat."

I quickly brought my hand under her ass and lifted her up, bringing her leg around my waist and pushing her harder to the wall. Her other leg snaked around me and a smirk started to appear on her face.

"I'll be able to be as rough as I want with you, and I know you'll love every minute of it and won't be a bit sore afterward."

I was scared as fuck she was going to reject me, but by the look on her face, she was as into it as I was. Her eyelids were half closed, and she was licking her bottom lip with a tongue I was aching to feel against my own. Instinctively, though, I knew I would have better luck fucking her up against this wall than I would of actually kissing her. She wasn't ready for that kind of intimacy with someone else yet.

What I could do, though, was show her exactly how much I wanted her body. I let go of her wrists and ass, leaving her supported entirely by the legs wrapped around me and the way I was pushing against her pelvis keeping her pinned to the wall. Deliberately dropping my eyes to her chest, I roughly grabbed the straps of her tank top and drew them down over her shoulders, forcing the straps to break away from the shirt and finally giving me a chance to see her tits up close. They were perfect. Firm, high, and big enough to fill even my overly large hands. Unable to resist, I took a nipple into my mouth and sucked on it. Hard. Her moan told me all I wanted to hear. She loved it. I massaged her other breast with my hand while licking and sucking on the nub in my mouth. She started to grind against me, and I swore I could feel her getting damp through her thin cotton shorts.

I could have spent all day with that tit in my mouth, but I had a point to make and looked back up into her eyes again.

"These are perfect, gorgeous, and awesome, and I would never want them to look any different. I could spend hours like this, locked here with you, learning what makes you moan. I want to feel every inch of your body with my hands and my tongue. That's how much I fucking want you. It's not just the compulsion to mate with you caused by the imprint. It's my body loving everything about yours; it's how perfect we fit together." I pushed my cock harder against her crotch to show her exactly where I wanted to fit.

I was in danger of losing control now; the ache between my legs was intense, and I wanted nothing more than to rip her shorts off and plow into her as hard as possible. She needed to let me know it was okay first. I'd wait forever if I had to.

"I don't know if we'll ever get along," I continued. "But I fucking know I'll never not want you."

She put her hands on either side of my face and practically snarled at me. "Then fucking take me already—I'm dying here."

That was all she needed to say. I brought my hands under her ass and twisted us around. She continued to rub against my cock, seeking friction and almost making me blow my load. I refused to give in that easily. I didn't know how long I'd be able to hold out, but I was determined to make her come first.

I stumble-walked into the bedroom, nearly driving us into the doorjamb when I felt her teeth lock onto my neck. I swear my dick grew an inch from that alone. Her tits were squished up against my bare chest, and I was dying to give her other nipple the same attention with my tongue I'd given the first.

Finally, we made it to the bed, and I basically threw us on it, twisting on the way down so we landed on our sides. I slithered down her body so my mouth was right at her breast and sucked her nipple through my teeth making her hiss in pleasure. I swirled my tongue around and then flicked the tip, teasing it while sucking on the flesh around. She bucked against me and screamed grabbing my hair in her hands and nearly yanking it all out of my head.

I had to feel more of her, had to know if her body wanted me; I wasn't going to last much longer if she kept it up. All along, I'd intended to be gentle when I touched her pussy for the first time. That went out the window, and I practically jammed my hand down the front of her shorts in my rush to feel her there. Fuck, she wasn't wearing any underwear and was all smooth, plump skin damp with her need. I cupped her briefly before curling a finger into her, shocked at the heat I felt there and the way I slid so easily into her. I'd never felt anything as smooth and soft; immediately, all I could think of was how her slick walls would feel on my cock. Groaning, I added another finger, dying to make her come yet desperately aching to be inside this amazing spot I'd found. I felt like the first man to discover a pussy and realized then and there why so many of us made fools of ourselves to get to this exact spot.

She was groaning in my ear and one of her hands was clawing at my back while she shoved down on my fingers, stimulating herself with my hand. I started using my palm to press down on her clit, and she shrieked my name, making me feel I was actually doing this all right.

"Jake, fuck, yes, that, keep doing that. Fuck!"

I kept it up, my mouth still working her nipple while my fingers slid in and out of her, moving up and down her slit, causing her to go absolutely wild against me. The next time I put my fingers inside her, I could feel her walls clench around them, and my cock started to leak all over her. I had to be inside her.

The pressure of her around my fingers was so tight, and her hand clutched my back so hard, I knew she must be almost there. I suddenly simply had to taste her, and I took my hand away preparing to move further down the bed. She nearly broke my wrist when she clamped her thighs around it.

"No! Don't you dare fucking stop—I'm almost there."

I grinned up at her. "Sorry, babe, this can't wait any longer." I knew she thought I was going to fuck her now like some clod, but I quickly fixed that when I flipped her on her back and put my face between her legs in the same motion. Keeping my eyes on hers, I flattened my tongue and licked her from bottom to top, stopping to suck on her clit before putting my fingers back in her pussy. It was a good thing my ears weren't close to her mouth anymore because she would have deafened me. _I am the fucking man! _I barely had time to notice how good she tasted before I felt her pulsing around me. _Yes!_

"Now, Jake. Fuck me now!"

As if I could do anything else. I had no idea when my shorts had gotten removed. All I knew was I was already naked and a quick shift brought me up on my arms over her, her legs spread wide around me, and my cock lined up right where my tongue had been less than a moment before. I had less than a second to decide if I wanted to feel this slow or all at once when she slammed herself up onto my cock, sheathing me fully into her in one motion. It felt beyond amazing, and I nearly came then and there on the spot. I roared like a beast and drew myself out of her body before slamming back in, more than happy to give her what she clearly wanted. Her nails dug into my back causing just enough pain to let me hold my orgasm at bay.

About the only thing different from our last mating and this one was the lack of fur. Everything else: the biting, the clawing, the snarling, was there in spades. After a moment or two, she rose up, and flipped me onto my back, somehow landing astride me and never losing our connection. She leaned forward to bite my chest while sliding her slick warmth up and down my cock, long and slow at first, and then taking up the same fast, deep, hard thrusts I'd been using. My back arched off the bed, and I clutched her hips, anchoring myself to her as I roared in pleasure. She lifted her face and grinned at me, a wide, dark, Cheshire cat grin, hinting at all sorts of secrets. Then she raised her lower body up, causing me to fall out. Stunned, I tried to force her back onto me, but she was too strong. Grinning all the while, with her ass still in the air, and her chest resting on mine, she slowly slinked backwards until her mouth was inches away from my cock. Keeping her eyes locked on mine, she darted her soft, pink tongue out, and flicked the head, like little tiny lashes from a wet feather. Dying for more, I barely kept myself in check, loving her play while needing to bury myself back inside her again.

Finally, she started to really lick me. The heat from her tongue was nearly scalding me in the best way possible, and when she finally slid me into her mouth, I immediately came with soul-staggering strength down her throat. Not missing a beat, she swallowed it all and then went right back to her exquisite torture, tickling the underside of my cock head with her tongue, then sinking her mouth down me. I hadn't lost any of my hardness, but now I could relax a little and enjoy what she was doing to me. She winked at me and then started giving me a serious blow job, sucking on me and bobbing her head up and down while swirling her tongue all around from base to tip. The pressure was building again, and this time, I was determined to regain control, and come inside her while balls deep in her body.

She didn't look surprised when I suddenly pulled my cock free from her mouth, and I knew she'd only been toying with me. I sat up and reached forward, grasping her by her hips and spinning her around so she was facing the same wall I was, lifting her ass at the same time I rose to my knees, I buried myself as deep as I could in her.

"Finally!" she screamed.

Her head rose, and she ended up looking at me through the mirror over my dresser. Her eyes were brighter than I'd ever seen them, and her skin was flushed. She'd never looked more beautiful.

The mirror gave me an idea, and I wiggled us around until we could see ourselves sideways in the glass. Our eyes locked on the site of my cock slowly thrusting in and out of her.

"Look at us," I told her. "Now do you see? We fit together perfectly. We're both nearly delirious with the feel of each other's body."

"Shut the fuck up, and keep fucking me!"

I laughed, loving the way she demanded I keep pleasing her. Tightening my grip on her hips, I thrust faster, going every bit as deep and hard as before, and each time I could feel her clench around me as she worked toward her orgasm. Giving me an evil eye in the mirror, she started to rub her clit with one of her hands, and I nearly lost it right there.

"Ugh, Jake! I'm so close!"

I moved my hands up her body and grabbed her bouncing tits in my hands. Pinching her nipples hard, I was thrusting into her at a different angle now, and it seemed to be exactly what she needed. Her hand stilled, her pussy clenched, and then she let loose with a screaming howl loud enough for the whole reservation to hear. My answering roar was every bit as loud, and I came harder than ever before, pulsing over and over inside her tight heat. It seemed it would never end, and I never wanted it to.

Leah and I collapsed in a heap on the bed, and I think she fell asleep maybe a millisecond before I did. When I woke up, the sun was high in the sky, and Leah was gone. Yawning, I strained to hear if she was still in the house, and I finally heard some rustling in the kitchen. It took me a few minutes to find my shorts, but eventually I located them hanging on the curtain rod. Chuckling, I slid them on and then headed out to find my imprint.

I think, of all my interactions with Leah, the sight meeting my eyes when I found her in the kitchen was the most shocking. She wore only a t-shirt, and it barely skimmed the tops of her trim thighs as her hips swayed in time to the music only she could hear through the buds in her ears. Dishes were being washed, and the counter was being cleaned in the oddest sequence of events, but it was still all getting done. Some sort of new delicious thing was cooking in the oven, and I didn't know if it was the sight her ass peaking out from her shirt when she spun, or the smell of the food making my mouth water.

I couldn't move, only stare, and she caught a glimpse of me on one of her twists from one spot to another. She stopped dead, soapy water dripping from the pan she was holding, which I think she may have been about to put away before rinsing when she caught herself.

Chucking the pan in the sink, she yanked the buds from her ears and let them dangle from the little player clipped to her shirt.

"You suck, you know. Do you have any idea how hard it is to clean a kitchen when your brains have been fucked into oblivion?" She was smiling, a happy carefree smile I don't think I'd ever seen on her face, and all I could do was stride over to her and catch her up in a huge bear hug, lifting her off the floor and twirling her around. Laughing, she slapped at my arms. "Put me down, you imbecile." She could barely speak, though, through her laughter, and I was stunned at her transformation. Gently putting her down, I held her at arms length to look at her.

"You look happy," I said softly.

Miracle of miracles, she actually fucking blushed, her cheeks turning a beautiful shade of burnished copper, before answering me. "You ever tell anyone I said this, I'll rip you apart, but, yeah, I'm feeling pretty happy this afternoon."

"Me, too."

We stood there a little longer, smiling like a couple of saps at each other, before she remembered whatever was cooking in the oven. "Fuck! You almost made me burn lunch," she said before flouncing out of my arms and opening the oven. Barely in time, I pulled her back before she could take the pan out with her bare hands.

Huffing in what looked like embarrassment, she snatched her hands away and grabbed mitts off the counter before going back and taking out what looked like the biggest, cheesiest lasagna I'd ever seen.

"Uhm, Leah? I just got hard. Since I can't fuck the lasagna, can I fuck you while I eat it?" My stomach chose that moment to rumble it's own contribution to the conversation, and she laughed at me as she set it down and grabbed plates. Shoving one at me, she filled her own then started eating as if her own life depended on it.

"You're lucky I was starving to death or I'd kick your ass for saying that sick shit," she mumbled with her mouth full.

I was too busy chewing my own food to answer by then, and we stood there, eating standing up like a couple of hogs, and our plates were empty in record time.

"Here, give me that," I said, taking her plate from her hands. "You go sit, and I'll get us seconds."

She spun away, grabbed two cokes from the fridge, and was sitting down by the time I made it to the table with the plates. We were able to eat a bit slower this time and finally talk a bit now that we'd gotten our physical needs for sex, sleep, and food taken care of.

"Hey," she said. "Any idea what's going on with E & B?"

I looked at her blankly for a moment. "Who?"

She smiled at me. "Guess that's one less thing I can worry about. Bella. I was asking about Bella."

Huh, I'd sort of forgotten all about them. I shrugged, "Sort of. She was changing, then she stopped, now she's changing again. They think this time it will finish, so the elders are meeting with the Cullens to discuss how to handle a potential newborn vamp and maybe letting Charlie in on all this. I guess there's some sort of vamp squad over in Italy that usually kills any humans that know, but as long as he doesn't tell anyone, then it should all be good."

"Newborn? What's that mean?"

"When they're first changed, they have no control and are stronger than older vampires, which means the Cullens may have trouble controlling her and keeping her away from snacking on the humans. They want to take her away, and we want her to go, but dad's worried about Charlie."

Her eyes turned distant, and it looked like she was staring off into space.

"Leah?"

Shaking her head a little, she turned back to me. "Where'd you go?" I asked.

Shrugging, she got up from the table, grabbed both our plates and headed to the sink. Looking out the dingy window, she whispered to me, "Do you ever think of doing that? Going away?"

Not sure where she was going with this, I walked over and wrapped my arms around her waist, joining her in looking out at the neglected yard. "I used to, back before the world turned into something out of a fantasy novel. My favorite plan was the one where I headed to Hawaii immediately after graduation and bummed around fixing cars till I found my place."

"And now?"

"Well, in the thick of it all, it never occurred to me. But, well, I guess when everything with the Cullens is quiet again, we could travel if you wanted. I don't have much money saved up, but if I sell the Rabbit, that should get us started."

She turned around in my arms, her eyes shining with unshed tears, and I wondered what I said wrong. "Leah?"

She interrupted me before I could get out any more. "You'd want me to go with you? Even if leaving here might mean the imprint bond was broken?"

Gently, more gently than I'd ever touched my normally fierce girl before, I placed my hands on her cheeks and answered, "Yes, I want you with me. Always. Do you really think something like distance would break us? I know it seems like magic and all that, but, to me anyway, it's as solid as one of those humongous, ancient trees out there."

Her hands covered my own, and she nodded, her tears finally spilling over, but a huge smile on her face. I figured, now or never...

"I love you, Leah."

Abruptly, my feet were swept out from under me, and I landed flat on my ass. "Yeah, well, just because I love you, too, don't think I won't kick the shit out of you whenever I think you need it," she said, before giving me a kiss hot enough to melt an iceberg.

Mm, yeah. Things were looking up around here.

**A/N: Hope you enjoyed! I apologize to anyone reading who's maybe not into graphic lemons as I know this story hasn't really had a lot of that till now. It seemed fitting for these two though, and I've come to enjoy writing them, so, that's why. This story remains my first, and has gone on for quite some time now, which I think has caused the consistency to suffer a bit as my own writing style evolves. Hopefully the writing itself has improved and maybe the story has gotten more and more enjoyable for some as it's gone along :)**


	18. Chapter 18

**Chapter 18**

**~Bella~**

I clutched tightly to Edward's hand while listening to Carlisle and Chief Black discuss our fate. We were sitting in a small ante-room at the community center—three vampires and three wolves. Needless to say, "charged atmosphere"didn't come close to describing it. Like Edward and me, Sam and Jake stood behind their spokesperson. Unlike them, we weren't trying to shoot death rays across the room with our eyes—makes one look awfully constipated after all, and is rarely successful.

His hand felt warm in mine—shockingly warm. Staring at our linked hands, I turned them a little, looking at them closely. The conversation going on in front of us was incredibly important, but all I could do was marvel at how similar our hands were starting to look: the pale skin, the lack of any lines or creases—only cold, hard deadness. As I watched, his thumb stroked the back of my hand, and I looked up to see Edward smiling at me.

"You okay?" He mouthed the words, not wanting to interrupt.

Automatically I started to nod, but then I realized I honestly wasn't sure if I was okay. Let's see: my change from human to vampire was now in full swing, thankfully still slow and no burning; my dad had been giving me the hairy eye-ball lately, like he was trying to figure out where I'd come from; and now, listening to "the old ones" as I'd started to call them, there was a pretty good chance I was going to turn into a raving, blood-sucking lunatic for oh, say, the next entire decade.

"Nope," I mouthed back at him.

He grimaced and pulled me closer. It was kind of nice how he felt warm now, but since it only highlighted the problem at hand, being wrapped in his arms wasn't as comforting as usual. His arms were still the only ones I wanted though, and I pushed my face into the spot where his upper arm met his chest and happily huffed in his delicious scent—more effective and far safer than a whippet from a can of whipped cream.

The conversation I was simultaneously trying to ignore and focus on continued. Carlisle's voice came through loud and clear, even though by now both my ears were completely covered due to my success at burrowing into Edward like a hamster.

"Yes, I'll admit there is a chance that regardless of her unconventional transition, she may still exhibit typical newborn tendencies. We have contingencies in place though, to mitigate such a result."

This was Carlisle talk for, "Yeah, she may go crazy, but probably not. If she does, we'll sit on her."

Luckily, Chief Black didn't seem phased by the vamp-lawyer speak. "Be that as it may," he said in a snooty tone. "She kills anyone, you all die."

Huh, that last didn't sound snooty at all—very menacing, in fact. I guess he didn't get the memo about how my new vampire family could pretty much kick wolf butt whenever they wanted and were only trying to be courteous.

"Terms accepted."

Carlisle's statement brought me out of my hiding place. I was afraid he'd forgotten my other request.

"There is one other matter we need to discuss."

Tempted to snuggle back into Edward, he gently turned me around until I was facing the room and he was behind me. His arms remained wrapped tight around my middle though, and he whispered in my ear, "Let them see you. They need to know how important this is to you."

Thankfully, Carlisle seemed to realize a change in tone was needed.

"I think you know this already, but Bella and her father are very close. We're considering allowing her to tell him what's going on. This would be an alternative to faking her death and causing him much grief and agony."

The thought of what my dad would go through caused me literal pain every time. It was like a rock being dropped into my stomach.

Carlisle continued. "While Bella is very sure her father can be convinced to keep the secret, there is a chance he could go the complete opposite direction once he realizes his wife was killed by a vampire. If that were to happen, your own secret could potentially be revealed. For this reason, we wanted to consult with you prior making a final decision."

The shocked look from all three faces across the room did not bode well for a happy result here.

"Are you out of your mind?"

_Yeah, the chief didn't seem to like this plan very much._

Waiting for Carlisle to answer him, I honestly didn't even notice when my legs started walking me away the haven of Edward's arms to stand by Carlisle's chair. I didn't notice when I sank to my knees and put both hands out in front of me like a begging supplicant. I certainly noticed though, when all of a sudden everyone was looking at me instead of Carlisle.

Maybe it was time to be less of a spectator and more of an adult.

"It would kill my dad. Literally kill him. Please, sir? You've gotten to know him since we moved here. I know he likes you a lot, and I think you like him, too. Won't you even consider it?"

The angry look on his face softened as he looked down at me from his chair. "Bella, I do know how much this will hurt your father. You made a choice though. Now it's time to deal with it."

He spoke kindly to me, and even as I replied—raged—in response, part of me told myself this side of Bella wasn't going to help anything. She was having her say regardless and there was nothing I could do to stop it.

"My choice?" I shouted in the quiet room, coming to my feet and stalking to the wheelchair. "I chose nothing! Stalked, kidnapped, abused: you call that a choice?"

As I got closer, I could see my reflection in the metal rods of the wheelchair, my distorted figure warped and twisted around the aluminum coming closer and closer to him.

_Oh, my God, is that really me?_

Seeing myself this way was enough of a shock to put the brakes on my advance and settle down to where I didn't seem threatening. It hadn't escaped me that both Jake and Sam were starting to tremble like they were about to phase into wolf form.

Looking closer at Chief Black, I could now see fear in his eyes. Instantly I felt ashamed and small. Slowly, I backed away until I was up against Edward once more. He didn't put his arms around me, and I knew it was only because he didn't want them to think he had to hold me back.

Quieter now, I continued. "Look, I'm sorry. I've always had a temper. It's nothing to do with—well, you know." Shaking my head, I wondered how the hell I was going to undo the damage I'd done. "I know you have no reason to believe me, but I really can keep it together. And my dad will keep your secret—all our secrets. Please?"

He raised his eyebrows at me but didn't say another word about my outburst. "Bella, you have no idea when you're going to complete this transition. Already you look different. You could wake up tomorrow and kill your own father and be on the loose in Forks before anyone knew you'd lost control. Surely you see the risk?"

Grateful to be back on track, I pushed forward. "No one here knows more than I do the destruction a vampire can inflict on a family. Even though we want to stay in Forks, I'm planning to leave school and my home. I'm moving in with the Cullens tonight."

Chief Black looked at me kindly but still didn't seem inclined to see things my way. "Why stay, then? If you won't be able to see your dad anyway, there's no reason to remain in the area and put everyone at risk."

Edward finally wrapped his arms around me, speaking to the chief over my shoulder.

"Sir, this is why we want to tell her father about us—about everything. If he knows, then we can stay in the area and Bella will still be able to have a relationship with him. Otherwise, she'll have to stage some sort of huge fight between them and run away. If we leave at the same time, her father will never stop searching for all of us. The alternative would be to fake Bella's death, and I'm sure you can understand her wanting to spare her father that level of grief."

I kept my eyes on the chief as Edward spoke, hoping to see some sign of him relenting. Once Edward was done, Chief Black sighed, closing his eyes and rubbing his forehead with his hands. When he met my gaze again, he looked a little older and some of the fight had left him. He didn't say anything to me, but turned again to Carlisle.

"You really think you can keep her contained? You'll leave at the first sign of trouble, no matter what it does to her father?"

Carlisle nodded. "You have my word."

"I'll want to hear from you daily. A complete status report. And she moves in with you immediately. Tonight. Tell her father whatever you want about yourselves, but you're not to reveal anything about us. One of our pack will be in constant patrol around your property. We'll smell when she's full vampire and be ready to attack if she steps a toe out of line. Got it?"

Carlisle nodded while I gushed, "Thank you, sir! I promise, I won't be any trouble. I'll be the best vampire you've ever seen!"

My outburst made everyone chuckle, and I had to admit I probably won some sort of dork award for that comment. The chief had a smile on his face now though, so I didn't kick myself too much.

"Okay, Bella. I've come to know your dad a bit these past few weeks. We've had some fun fishing trips, and I can see he's a real good man. I'm doing this for him. Make sure I don't regret it."

I nodded. Edward gave his thanks as well. "We'll take good care of her and keep you posted exactly as you've asked. Thank you very much for letting us stay. It means a great deal to her, and to the rest of us too, since we enjoy living here very much."

Chief Black's expression when answering Edward wasn't quite as friendly as the look I'd gotten. "Well, I can't say we're happy to have you here. But as long as you don't cause any trouble, we'll keep the peace."

"That's all we can expect," Carlisle replied.

Carlisle stood, and we all turned to head out of the room. It seemed sort of awkward without the typical hand shaking and polite good-byes, but it was clear they were ready for us to be gone. We stepped out of the small, windowless room and walked through the function hall of the community center. Our footsteps on the old, wooden floors echoed in the large space. It wasn't till we were back outside and all was quiet again that the thought I'd been fighting to keep back was able to came through. It was time to tell my dad.

Because the Quileute demanded I move out of my home immediately, we really had no choice but to head right over to my house and break the news. Carlisle called Esme and let her know the meeting went well. He also asked her to start packing up some emergency supplies in case we did end up having to make a quick getaway at some point.

Carlisle kindly played chauffeur, driving his sleek Mercedes while Edward and I attempted to occupy the same space in the back seat. I simply couldn't get close enough to him. Every nerve in my body was in complete panic mode, and if Edward wasn't there to hold me together, I had no doubt I'd explode into millions of subatomic particles all over Carlisle's nice leather seats.

Carlisle had offered to be the one to actually tell my dad about the existence of vampires, and I accepted since it seemed to make the most sense, but I was going to have to be the one to break the news about my moving out. It was going to be so much to hit my dad with all at once, and I hated what I was going to do to him. I couldn't help but feel guilty too, since even though we weren't planning on telling my dad this little tidbit, once I was living in Edward's house, I'd be living _with _Edward—in his room. And, I had to admit, I was looking forward to it probably more than I should given how upset my dad was going to be.

Quicker than I'd hoped, we arrived at my humble abode. Looking at the small house with the sagging front porch and ugly, rutted driveway, it seemed surreal to think before the day was out I'd no longer live there—no longer live with my father. We'd been each others touchstone for so long, and even though I had Edward now, my dad would have no one. I swallowed, trying to get rid of the lump in my throat signaling imminent bawling. Knowing tears were on their way, I buried my face in Edward's shirt, but the expected wetness never came.

I lifted my head to look at Edward, confused. As if he could finally read my mind, he gently placed a finger under one of my eyes. "No more tears. Vampires don't cry."

Well, I'd always hated crying. But knowing I _couldn't _cry made me even more upset. So, of course, I pretended to be fine.

"Did you know those tear free baby shampoos use formaldehyde to numb the eyes? That's why the rugrats don't cry. Isn't that horrible?" I offered up this lump of useless information and tried to smile, but as usual, he saw right through me.

"You can hit things now without getting hurt?" he offered.

Pouting, I pulled away and crossed my arms over my chest. "It's supposed to hurt. That's how hitting things makes the pain go away."

Unwilling to accept distance between us, he reached over and pulled me next to him again, my jeans easily sliding across the leather. Done joking, he nuzzled my neck and whispered in my ear, "I know, honey. I know."

Closing my still dry eyes, I tried to pull myself together. It was time to get out of the car and face the music. Carlisle had been patiently waiting in the front seat and now turned the car off and stepped out. I moved to follow, but Edward held on to my hand.

"After this, home. Okay?"

I gave him a wobbly smile. "Home?"

"Home."

I reached up and pressed my lips to his in a quick kiss, breaking away fast when I heard the front door open. Spinning around, I saw my dad framed in the doorway, his uniform still on, but a beer already in his hand since he'd gotten home probably, oh, five minutes ago.

"Bella? I didn't know you were bringing company home. Everything okay?"

_Hah. Okay? Nope, Dad. Not by a long shot._ Unable to come up with a reply, I shrugged my shoulders at him as I walked up to the porch. Carlisle eased in front of me and greeted my father.

"Chief Swan, good to see you again. Sorry to arrive unexpectedly."

My dad looked at Carlisle with suspicion, one of his hands coming up to briefly touch the spot on his jaw where Carlisle had hit him before. He stepped aside after a short moment and let us in, his eyes finding mine and wordlessly asking what the hell was going on. I ducked my head, afraid to even look at him knowing what was about to come. My dad wouldn't let me slink on by him though, gently taking my arm when I was in front of him.

"Bella?"

My face crumpled and I didn't resist when my dad pulled me into a hug. I hugged him back and started to sob, shaking in his arms.

"Just what is going on here? Why is she so upset?" My dad demanded answers from the others as I cried. I wanted to be able to reassure him, but couldn't stop falling to pieces. This was turning out to be even harder than I'd thought. And how was I going to explain the lack of tears?

Thankfully, Carlisle spoke then, getting things going. "Chief Swan, there is something important we need to discuss. I assure you, Bella's fine, just very upset about breaking some difficult news to you."

My dad pulled away and held me at arm's length to look me in the eye. "Bella? What is it? You can tell me anything. You know that." Like Edward had only moments before, he lifted a finger to one eye, and I could tell he was very confused to find no wetness.

I shook my head and turned to Carlisle, hoping he'd just spit it out and get it over with. My dad looked to Carlisle too, obviously angry that someone else's father knew more about me than he did. So, standing there just inside the door, Carlisle told him.

"My family and I are very different from you and the other residents of Forks," he started. "We're vampires. I know this probably sounds like some sort of sick practical joke, but it's not. Vampires do exist, and your daughter is turning into one."

Shifting slightly, I peeked at my dad, trying to get an idea of his reaction. He looked a lot like the fish he loved to catch as his mouth kind of gaped open and closed. Finally, he shifted his angry gaze from Carlisle to me. "Is this some really weird way of telling me you're pregnant?"

His reply was so unexpected, I couldn't help myself, and a small laugh came out. Smiling at my dad, I finally found the ability to speak. "No, Dad. I'm not pregnant. Just turning into a vampire."

"Bella, come on now. What's really going on?"

It was time to tell him everything. "Dad, I know this sounds crazy. Please, just hear me out, though."

He nodded, grasping my hand and shooting Edward a dirty look before giving me his attention again. "Hey, Edward hasn't done anything wrong." I sighed. "Let's just go in and sit down. This is too big for a doorway."

We all went in and took seats in the living room, my dad and I on the couch, Edward and Carlisle in the other chairs. Taking a deep breath, I let it all spill out: Mom, James, Edward, the kidnapping—everything. Watching my dad as I spoke, it was like I was hitting him over the head with a hammer each time I revealed something new. He seemed to age right before my eyes, and I wanted nothing more than to be able to simply stop talking and run away. I couldn't, though; it was up to me to make sure he not only understood, but that he would never reveal any of this to another soul—well, living soul. I knew he'd talk about it with my mom. He told her everything—not that she didn't already know.

When I was done spilling everything, I sat and waited, watching his face for some sort of clue to what he was thinking. It was impossible to tell, though, since I'd never seen this particular look before.

He opened his mouth like he was going to talk but then closed it again and looked over at Edward and Carlisle. If looks could kill...

Carlisle started to say something, but my dad wasn't ready to hear from anyone else yet and raised his hand then looked back at me.

Finally, his face settled on an expression I'd only seen once or twice in my life but knew well. That much anger wasn't something one would be able to mistake. I cringed when he started shouting at me.

"Isabella, are you telling me that the man who killed your mother came back for you? And you never told me? And what? These people here are somehow related to him and call themselves vampires? Where is he now? Why wasn't I involved in this rescue? Dammit, Bella. I'm your father and Chief of Police here. This doesn't make any sense!"

He was turning an alarming shade of purple, but I had no idea how to calm him down, and I started to worry he was going to be physically ill. Thank goodness we had a doctor with us.

Carlisle broke in, using the voice I'm sure he'd honed over years of talking to distraught patients. "Chief Swan, will you please let me explain a bit more and answer some of your questions?"

My dad turned to him and practically growled. "Well? Give me your answers. I'm waiting."

"The person that killed your wife was a vampire. We're not exactly as Hollywood and books portray us, but we do exist. While the majority live solely on human blood, my family and I only drink from animals. I assure you, there is no relation between us and the one who killed your wife. It is only due to the most beneficent of circumstances that your daughter moved to a town where we lived at the same time the vampire she'd met previously came back for her. Thankfully, by the time he'd targeted her, she and Edward had already met and we were committed to keeping her safe. I apologize for the subterfuge we enacted that night, but at the time, we didn't realize Bella had been changed and thought we could keep you from finding out about us."

Suddenly, my dad covered my ears with his hands. It was muffled, but I could still hear him reply to Carlisle. "Do I look like a fucking moron to you? Vampires? Don't talk about my wife, you sick piece of shit. I don't know what the fuck is going on here, but you people get the hell out of my house right now and stay away from my daughter."

"Dad!" I tugged at my dad's hands, easily removing them from my head even though I could tell he was resisting. "Don't treat me like a kid! You cover my ears just because you're fucking swearing, and then you tell the guy I love to stay away from me?"

He looked at me like I'd gut punched him. "Bella! What's going on with you?"

This was getting ridiculous. "Edward? Carlisle? Isn't there something you can do to prove it?"

Carlisle and Edward looked at each other, Carlisle gesturing to Edward. Edward's eyes searched around the living room a little before his gaze settled on a wrought iron lamp we had near the couch. He picked it up and very slowly bent the thick iron, twisting it till it broke in half. That accomplished, he took the dangling cord in between the thumb and forefinger of each hand and making it look like he wasn't using any effort at all, ripped the cord apart. Sparks flew and the light went out.

"We're much stronger than humans. If you'd like to shoot one of us, we can also show you how we can't be harmed by bullets."

Stupefied, my dad stared at the lamp, completely ignoring Carlisle's quiet voice.

"Dad?" I whispered. "Look at me." I waited until his eyes met mine, but then wished I hadn't. The anger he'd shown before had given away to something completely different—something dead and defeated.

Pushing on, I spoke again, trying to get him to come back to me. "My hair's grown five inches in a matter of weeks. My eyes are tinged with red, and my skin is even paler than it was before. I know you've seen the changes. You must have known something was going on. Is it really so hard to believe?"

"Pregnant," he mumbled. "I was scared you were pregnant, and like an idiot, I didn't say anything because I wanted it not to be true."

I smiled and tried to lighten the moment. "Well, it's not. Like I said, only turning into a vampire. No baby."

"Bella," he said, much calmer now but back to looking at me like I was crazy. "Do you really expect me to believe this? This is insane."

"I'm sorry, Dad. But yeah, you've got to believe me."

He turned to Carlisle but took my hands in his as he spoke. "Okay, suppose for a moment I'm willing to believe this. What happened to the one who killed my wife?"

"He's destroyed," Carlisle replied. "We killed him shortly after we rescued Bella."

"So, what, did you stab him with a wooden stake or something? I mean, aren't vampires supposed to live forever?"

"It takes a lot more than a wooden stake, actually. The only way to kill a vampire is to tear it to pieces and set it on fire. Barring that, we're immortal."

"Immortal," my dad repeated dully before turning back to me. "Bella, really? This is too much. I know you wouldn't make something like this up involving your mom. But, please, am I missing something here? Something that would make all this logical?"

I shook my head at him. "No, Dad. You're not missing anything. It just...well...really doesn't make sense, but it's still true."

He looked at me, then Carlisle, and finally Edward, before turning back to me. "What's this about you turning into one of them?"

This was Carlisle's territory, so I let him answer and took a moment to give my brain a rest. Carlisle was droning on about how humans turn into vampires and all that and it was easy enough to tune him out. The hard part was over, and I'd thought I would feel a sense of relief , but I was still extremely anxious. I couldn't figure out why, but it was really freaking me out.

Unable to handle my own thoughts any longer, I interrupted Carlisle and started babbling all over the place. "I'm still me." I clutched my dad's arm, making sure I had his full attention. "Okay, so I'm not going to be human anymore...and, yeah, I'll be just like him, the one who killed Mom. I'm sorry!"

A vague idea of something important was starting to form in my head. Not wanting to acknowledge it, I started talking louder, my grip on his arm getting stronger. "I never wanted for this to happen. Even when I realized I was in love with Edward, I didn't want this. It's not his fault though. It just happened. And now I have to go, and I'm so sorry, and I hope you can still love me."

I was crying again, no tears, but my body was shaking so hard, I was afraid I'd break. It had only hit me as I was talking what my biggest fear had been all along—losing my dad's love.

He winced and started pulling on his arm. I grabbed it tighter, afraid he was rejecting me.

"Bella, sweetheart, you're hurting me." He spoke quietly, and there wasn't a hint of anger in his voice, but I was horrified I'd caused him pain.

I threw his arm away from me and wrapped my arms around myself so I couldn't hurt him anymore. My head hung low, and I muttered to myself over and over, "I can't believe I hurt him. I can't believe I hurt him."

When I felt a strong set of arms cover my own, I thought it was Edward at first, but then I heard my dad's voice in my ear. "Honey, stop. I'm okay, and of course I still love you. You don't have to go anywhere. We'll figure this out. This is your home, though, and no matter what, you're still you. You're my Belly-Bell, my little girl, and I'm the one who's sorry. I'm sorry I couldn't keep you safe—so sorry I didn't know what was out there." My dad was crying now too, and I hated to have to tell him I really did have to go. It seemed like there was a lot more we had to say to each other. I was still freaked out from hurting him though, and felt the need to leave immediately before anything else horrible happened.

As gently as possible, I stepped back but took his hands in mine, focusing on how much pressure I used. "Dad, I can't stay. Once I'm full vampire, there's too much of a chance I could hurt you. Look what just happened! I have to leave. Tonight."

"What? I don't understand. I thought he said something about eating animals?" My dad was the one squeezing me tight now, unwilling to let me go.

Carlisle spoke to him gently, but firmly. "Until she learns to control her strength, she's still a danger to you. There will also be a period of time when the urge for human blood will be strong, and we need to make sure she's capable of resisting before she can be around humans again."

I felt like such a monster.

We all went quiet after Carlisle was done speaking. I wanted to give my dad a moment to process all he'd heard, and I think Carlisle and Edward thought the same. It was a lot for him to take in: finding out what killed his wife, learning his daughter was becoming one of them, and losing her all in the same night. Would I ever be able to forgive myself for what I was putting him through? I was still floored at the realization of what my biggest fear had been all along. Even with his reassurances, I still felt like he could end up disgusted with me when the whole vampire thing sunk in. I knew my dad; it wouldn't surprise me one bit if there was still doubt percolating in that head of his, explanations darting around left and right like dancing bumble bees.

It felt like a long time, but was probably only a minute or so before he spoke again. He let go of my hands and stepped around me till he was behind me and rested his hands on my shoulders. For one crazy moment I thought he was using me as a shield, but then when I felt myself sink back against him, it was apparent that no matter how much I'd changed, he still knew when I'd reached my limits. I stared across at Edward while he spoke, wishing there was a way they could both hold me at the same time.

"So if I have all this correctly, you and your family are vampires, you drink from animals, but you prefer humans. The first thing I need to know, have you or anyone in your family killed anyone?" Oh no, he was going into Police Chief mode. This is what we were afraid of. I could tell Carlisle was going to answer him, and decided to keep my mouth shut for now.

"Yes." For a second, it looked like Carlisle was going to say more but then changed his mind, and let his simple one word answer hang there.

"I'm guessing you never went and confessed to the authorities. As an officer of the law, I should drag you right to jail. But I suppose that wouldn't work out too well, would it?"

Carlisle shook his head. "Not really. The last time anyone died by family's hand was before any of us were supposed to have been born."

My father's hands tightened on my shoulders then, and I could tell he hadn't really thought about things in quite that way yet. He soldiered on though, and it only got worse.

"I see. Well then, your family has killed people, drained their blood exactly like my wife's blood was drained, and now you're telling me my daughter is going to want to do the same thing to me. And you...what...expect me to just let you walk out of here with her? Pretend everything is okay? Tell everyone she ran off with her boyfriend?" My dad was upset but calm. Dangerously calm. I was starting to get really worried.

Edward had been mostly quiet, but at the word boyfriend, he stepped a little closer. Once my dad was done talking, he asked a very simple question, "Is there any other option?"

At that, my dad's hands dropped of my shoulders, and he tried pushing me to the side. "You little..."

Before he could get any further, I turned around and blocked him. He strained against me, trying to get to Edward. I wouldn't let him get past me though, afraid he'd end up injuring himself. It was only a moment, but then suddenly he seemed to notice his little girl was keeping one hundred seventy pounds of enraged father back like it was nothing. I could tell the exact instant he understood. He stopped pushing and backed away from me, a look of horror on his face. Eyes darting between me, Edward, and Carlisle, he kept backing up until his calves hit the couch and then heavily sat down.

My dad's eyes closed and he rubbed his face with his hands before dragging them through his hair. His head fell back, his hands clasped behind his neck, and I could see tears seeping out of the corners of his eyes. Sinking to the floor, I sat down in front of him and whispered, "I'm so sorry." I didn't know what else to say; it was obvious I disgusted him.

Edward came and sat behind me. I thought he only meant to offer me some comfort, but then he started talking to my dad. "Sir, I know this is all a terrible shock. Please don't reject Bella, though. She's still...Bella. Her personality is the same, her loyalty...her love for you. And I promise, sir, I will cherish her and care for her till the end of all days."

My father's head straightened then, and he looked angrily at Edward. "Where do you get off? I have no intention of rejecting my daughter. And I think I know her personality better than you. If I didn't love her so much, I wouldn't be this upset, now would I?" His head fell back again, and he closed his eyes. It was like he hadn't said anything but then we all heard a muttered, "Imbecile."

Edward's quiet chuckle behind me assured there were no hard feelings on his part, and I was able to relax a little. They both loved me, and that was all that mattered. For the first time in as long as I could remember, I felt the band of tightened nerves constantly across my chest loosen.

Finally, he opened his eyes again and sat up, really looking at me and seeing me—seeing what I'd become—for the first time. I withstood his scrutiny, knowing it was necessary, and when he opened his arms to me, I launched myself into them, hugging him tight as I could. He squeaked, and then said in a much higher voice than normal, "Ouch, Bella! Whoa, you're breaking my ribs."

I decreased the pressure but refused to let go. I'd heard the smile in his voice, and knew it was all going to be okay even if I did squeeze him a little too hard once in awhile.

"Honey, no matter what, you'll always be my daughter, and I'll always love you. You go and take care of what you need to. But if you need one, you'll always have a home with me, even if it means I need to wear a garlic necklace."

We all laughed, and I snuggled up against him, shifting a little so I could see Edward. He wore a big smile on his face, but I could tell he was still somewhat worried about something. Thinking it through, I realized even though my dad wasn't rejecting me, he still really hadn't given Edward any sign he would be accepted, too. Knowing how close I was to my dad, it would be important to Edward.

I leaned back a little and reached out a hand to Edward. He scootched closer to us till we could hold hands.

"Dad, I'd like you to meet my boyfriend, Edward. He's a vampire but a heck of a nice guy, and I think you'll like him."

They both laughed a little, and then my dad reached a hand forward and held it out to Edward. "Nice to meet you," he said. "I may not be able to shoot you, but you break my little girl's heart, and I'll come up with something to make your life miserable."

He was smiling, though, as he said it, and I impulsively reached forward and hugged them both. I'd never been much of a hugger, but today nothing else would do.

They shook hands, and then Carlisle came forward and also shook hands with my dad.

"You take care of my Bella, okay?"

"On my honor, she will be like my own daughter."

The two fathers shared a moment of understanding between them, and I wondered if they had any clue how lame they were being. Cute, but lame.

Edward and Carlisle chatted with my dad while I went and packed my stuff. After all the super emotional moments of the day, gathering all the junk I wanted to take and going through the process of actually moving out was strangely anti-climatic, and I just threw a bunch of random things in a couple of suitcases I dragged out of the closet, eager to get back downstairs to my family. I scampered down the stairs, carrying the cases and an overnight bag. My dad turned at the sound, and I could tell he thought I was going to fall down any moment when he rushed right over. He smirked when he realized I actually wasn't going to fall on my face. And, wouldn't you know, I threw down my bags and hugged him again.

After, he bent down to take one of the cases, then gave me a raised eyebrow when he noticed the amount of weight I'd carried downstairs.

"Well, I guess you're already a lot stronger than you were. Maybe I could get you to bring in some wood and move some stuff around before you go."

Shaking my head, I told him, "No fair turning me into your draft horse. Bring in your own damn wood for once instead of going fishing."

"Blasphemy, Bella!"

We all laughed. It was incredible; telling my dad had been horrible, but we'd come out on the other side and were still a family.


	19. Chapter 19

**Final chapter everyone! Sorry if it seems too short and/or not enough detail or lemonstuff. I really wanted to keep it simple and sweet for these two crazy kids :) Another huge thanks to Sarita Dreaming for all the beta assistance and mega love to everyone who's reviewed and been super patient through the slow updating times. Very excited to hit the complete button on this one!**

**~Edward~**

I don't think I ever took so much notice of my own ceiling 'til tonight. At the moment, though, I really didn't feel capable of much else. I assume, as far as ceilings go, ours is pretty standard issue. Even Alice and Esme, with all their hifalutin ideas about interior design, couldn't come up with too much to do there. Don't get me wrong, we've got some impressive chandeliers in the Cullen hut, but ceilings themselves are pretty much flat and white.

Lost in my own musings, I felt Bella shift beside me and turned to look at her. She seemed to be studying the ceiling with equal intensity.

"Hi."

She looked at me real quick and then back to the ceiling again before replying. "Hi."

Well, that was exactly five times now we'd had the same exact—conversation?—in the past ten minutes. On top of that, she'd shifted her left ankle once, her right pinky finger twice, and breathed in and out exactly 632 times. Her left eyebrow had one hair that was three millimeters longer than its neighbors, and it was waving in the slight breeze coming in through the open window.

Of course, none of this mattered: the ceiling, her eyebrow hair, how many times I'd watched her chest rise and fall—uhm, watched her breathe. What mattered was I was the world's biggest coward because I didn't have the balls to take this perfect girl lying next to me into my arms and show her exactly what the best thing about being a vampire was—well, best thing according to my sex addict siblings. _I wouldn't know, now would I, unless I reached down and found a pair sometime in the next century._

"Edward?"

"Yeah?"

"Can we, like, I don't know, play video games or something? I'm starting to feel like an after-school special lying here like this."

I laughed. "We'd be prime time at least. Look how good that Buffy the Vampire Slayer crap did. And those vampires were ugly."

She giggled and I thanked the fates once again for giving me a girl who knew exactly how to make me relax.

I rolled onto my side. "What do you think of the bedroom? Esme and Alice went into hyper-vamp mode today turning it from a bachelor pad to a boudoir. At least, that's what Alice called it."

She lifted her upper body off the bed and propped herself on her forearms canted behind her. I loved how comfortable she looked in my bed as she turned her head this way and that, taking in the lace curtains, silky bed covering, and mauve walls.

"I dunno. I don't think it's us. How mad would they be if we painted the walls brown and pinned up tons of 80's hair band posters?"

I shuddered. "Ripping." _Wait a second._ "You like 80's music?"

She raised an eyebrow, the other one. "Are you kidding me? Bon Jovi? Def Leppard? Metallica? What's not to like? _Living on a Prayer_ is so our song."

Her mouth opened, my mouth opened: "_Ohhhhh, we're half-way there. Oh HOH, living on a prayer!"_

Of course, hilarious laughter ensued. I heard Emmett shout up the stairs, "Dude, we are so getting out of here. You two pathetic dweebs have fun. Maybe by the time we all get back tomorrow, you'll have finally done the deed."

Doors slammed and they were gone. Bella and I each immediately flopped onto our backs again and resumed studying the ceiling. If only a bug would walk across it or something.

At least the family was all getting along again. It'd been pretty tense around here for a while after the whole James and Alice thing. But the way they acted, like it had never happened, put everyone at ease a lot quicker than I would have thought possible. Rose almost seemed put out at first, like she wanted to see some sort of soap-opera worthy fighting from the two of them. But I knew better than anyone how much Alice wasn't to blame for what happened and exactly how completely Jasper had forgiven and forgotten.

Suddenly, Bella gave a loud huff beside me and sat up. In one move, she whipped off her black Angry Birds t-shirt and threw it on the floor. My mouth dropped open in shock, and I slowly rose into a sitting position. Before I was completely upright, she'd yanked her yoga pants off, too, and tossed them straight out the window. She winced when a loud, "Woo hoo, baby! Take it all off!" came in response. Guess my family hadn't gotten very far yet.

Terrified she'd move to cover herself, I grabbed the nearest heavy thing I could find and tossed it. A large thunk followed by, "You, ass!" let me know I'd hit my target with the Magic 8 ball I'd stolen from Alice ten years ago.

"Get outta here, Emmett!" I yelled.

Bella's face was in her hands now, but the shaking of her shoulders and the odd little gagging inhales told me she was merely laughing herself to death. Waiting her out, I goggled her chest, figuring it was okay now that she'd so cavalierly revealed it to me. Well, kind of—, there was still the damn sports bra. Still enough quivering of the peaky-outy parts, though, to hold my interest.

When she finally moved her hands, her eyes were bright, and she had a big smile on her face. "So much for trying to be sexy around here. Geez, Cullen. No wonder you've never brought anyone home before."

I smiled at her and took her hands in my own. "You know damn well why I haven't brought anyone home, and it's not because of my turd siblings."

Exaggerating the movements, I looked her up and down with a confused look on my face, craning around to see behind her and lifting her arms up. "Now, how the heck does this thing come off?" I muttered, taking one hand and attempting to pull the bra down from the front while the straps were still on her shoulders.

Giggling, she did that cool thing girls do when they take something off over their head and whip their hair around. Yeah, I may be a vamp-virgin but that didn't mean I hadn't ever watched a movie with some frontal nudity. The bra landed next to the big, red bird on her shirt. I could've swore it was checking her out, too. My body made the appropriate response, and my lady love quickly found herself pinned to the bed with a very horny vampire lying between her legs. I lightly rested my chest on hers and gave her a kiss on the chin.

"Why is this so hard for us? It's not like we haven't been making out like fiends every chance we've gotten,." I said asked.

She scoffed. "Dude, making out in closets or on my couch ten minutes before my dad is due home isn't exactly the same. You and I both know we've deliberately stayed far away from any spot where we could actually take off all our clothes and go for it."

Yeah, she was right. I shrugged and then kissed her again, this time a much better kiss that involved lips and tongues and all that fun stuff. _Yummy_.

Well, suffice it to say that we were decidedly uninterrupted this time. Things were inserted into things exactly like how they were supposed to be, and we enjoyed the heck out of each other for the next, oh, five hours. Yeah, I'm the man—well, vamp-man anyway. And, wouldn't you know it? We went right back to staring at the ceiling as soon as we were done, this time with very odd smiles on our faces and her soft bum nestled deliciously against my, _ah hem_, a proper vampire never tells.

It's hard to believe it's only been a few months since the first day I met Bella. A high school cafeteria seems such a commonplace spot to begin one's life anew, but that's where it started. She was morose and terrified; I was bored and apathetic. Together, we're that annoyingly, blissfully happy couple everyone loves to hate.

Bella finished her change just fine. Thankfully, she never did develop the typical newborn tendency to kill every human in sight. Carlisle was relieved, Jasper's jealous, but I had pretty much known all along she was going to rock the whole vampire thing.

Bella and her dad got to spend a lot of time together really talking about things and getting to know each other as complete people, and not just two lost bodies missing their shared soul. The three of us went back to Rhode Island and paid our respects to Mrs. Swan. They showed me around, and I got to know Bella as she'd been before it all happened: a spunky little thing adored by her parents who adored them, and mischief making, in return.

Now, it's time for the Cullens to move on. Chief Swan was fine with it since he knew how happy she was and that there would be plenty of visits. We're on a plane now, heading up to Alaska to introduce Bella to our closest friends. Little does she know, this plane is taking just a slight detour to Disney Land.


End file.
